"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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a quick question

rocky_mtn

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Ok so I got HB8.5's phone number last Thursday, I'm calling her tonight, but I can't go out with her this week, full schedule and not doing first date on the weekend.

I'm planning on asking her out for next Tues (or Wed). And say I'll call next Sun to confirm time and place. I know DJs say no to the confirmation call, but because I'm not setting the date up a few days after the first call, I need some filler and haven't really got a plan as of yet.

What say you?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Natch

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I wouldn't go making plans more than a couple days in advance.
Maybe just call her up to shoot the **** or tell her a joke you just heard.
I like
"A bear walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry,
we don't serve no beer to no bears in this bar. The bear asks again and is
again told, "We don't serve no beer to no bears in this bar." The bear then
says, "See that lady at the end of the bar. If you don't sell me a beer I'm
going to eat her." The bartender again replies, "We don't serve no beer to no
bears in this bar." The bear eats the lady comes back to the other end of the
bar and says, " Now will you sell me a beer?" The bartender responds, "We
don't serve no beer to no bears in this bar, especially no bears on drugs."
Indignantly, the bear says, "What do you mean on drugs?" The bartender
answers, "Well, that was a Bar ***** You Ate!"
 

Desdinova

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I'm a firm believer of striking when the iron is hot. Call her NOW. Make the phone call quick (five minutes or less), but just long enough to let her know that you haven't forgotten about her, and that you've been busy as hell. Just give her enough to keep you lingering in her mind, and then set up a date a couple of days later.
 

rocky_mtn

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Good idea. I gave her a call last night but she didn't pick up her phone. I didn't leave a message So I'll try to call her again tonight.

I'm thinking of leaving a message if she doesn't pick up and just to say hi, then call her next Sunday to set something up for next week.
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
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rocky_mtn said:
Good idea. I gave her a call last night but she didn't pick up her phone. I didn't leave a message So I'll try to call her again tonight.

I'm thinking of leaving a message if she doesn't pick up and just to say hi, then call her next Sunday to set something up for next week.
Bad Idea, never call her consecutively if she does not pick up your first call. Give yourself at least four to seven days before you call her back. If one ther other hand you want to reach her before the fourth day of your first call, I'll try calling from a different phone. In that case she won't be overwhelm with the feelings that you're trying to phone-stock her.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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rocky_mtn

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She is definitely interested if not a little anxious. Friend sees her out at a bar this week and she mentions to him that I should give her a call. I called Tues and she didn't pick up. My weekend starts on Thurs. So if I don't call her Wed, then that puts things out another week.


Trying to balance playing it cool with actually getting a hold of her while the interest is there. Plus I want to take her out next week, not make first call, it will be 4th of July weekend before I know it. And need to get something with someone lined up for camping weekend.

thanks for the advice.
 
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