"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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A quick question of advice

W

Werter

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Hello,
I must admit I am no way what one would call a "Don Juan," but I am sort of in a pickle, and am seeking some advice. I'm gonna try to make this as short as possible. There is this girl in my class, and I have been what you would call "best friends" with her for a long time. She tells me everything, or at least she used to. Allow me to be fully honest, all this time I have been what you could say "insanely attracted," to her, and I have been trying to woe her heart since day one. Now, you're probably expecting some horrible "friend zone" story, but this is not the case. This is quiet different. I had been able to successfully woe her heart, but unfortunately for me, (and this was about a month or two ago), I had a girlfriend. It caused a fight between us, and we didn't talk for about a month. I have broken up with my girlfriend since then, and me her had somewhat made up, but when I tried to ask her if maybe she would like to go on a date and see where those feelings were for me, she ended up revealing to me that she is interested in someone else (well two people, but that doesn't really matter, the point is it's not me). So I was hoping that one of you fine gentlemen might be willing to lend me some advice as to how I could rekindle that...quiet passionate, I should add, love she had for me. Or should I simply move on?

Thank you!
~Werter
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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W

Werter

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Well I'm not dumb, but I'm sure SHE thought it was love. Or at least pure, but what I mean to say is that she had some...strong positive feelings for me, that she made quiet clear. I find it hard to believe she can just have those disappear overnight. I'm just wondering if there any worthwhile way of tugging those feelings back out. And pardoning me by asking, but what do you mean, "thinker than a doer."?
 
N

Nino-Tk

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BPH is right, chill with her one more time and instead of talking about your feelings and all that mushy stuff, actually do something. Make your move, let her see how serious you are so try to go for in for a kiss and if she rejects, then you will know the truth. I like this quite "Words tell me what I want to hear, actions tell it like it is".
 
L

LearningSlowly

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This reads like the opposite of a success story.

What else do you have going in your life? Sports, art, music, dance, social skills? Any skills at all??

There are all these abilities that you could be developing, and guess what? They're always faithful to you, and they'll never leave you or reject you. Instead of reaching up for some great girl, how about making yourself into a great guy so others reach up to you.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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W

Werter

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These things make sense, thank you for the words. So just to clarify, I should try to DO something, such as kiss her, to show her I'm serious about my feelings, and if she rejects me then just move on to more important things? Allow me to ask, is it limited to kissing? I would like to avoid sexual harassment charges hahah
 
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