A question to all the former AFC's

[Doc73]

I was doing some thinking last night about this board and the information on it, and it made me wonder...

First, did any of you ever have a problem in which you were doing great for a while, then you ended up backsliding to the old AFC you or in some cases even worse.

Second, and this is for the ones that used to be really AFC, in how long of a time frame did it take for you to change from the way you used to be, to a mindset in which you could comfortably say that you had lost your afc ways.

Third, what made you decide to change in the first place, and what were some of the things you decided to do to change how you saw not just women, but life in general

 

[gav]

1. yes, happened because i lost contact with everyone
2. 1 week (alcohol related) - it was just about body language - including the loudness of my voice (finger's post empower your voice which i do everyday)
3. i was a skinny idiot.
came to this site
started body building
gained a masculine attitude
competition is what gives me motivation. i've got to beat everyone else

 

[Jariel]

I also agree that bodybuilding makes a phenomenal difference. I still have some cutting to do before I get the washboard abs Gav has, but already I'm getting women virtually throwing their numbers at me and my confidence has shot sky high.

What's more, getting in good shape will probably take less time than learning how to use C+F and other such seduction techniques effectively.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

First, did any of you ever have a problem in which you were doing great for a while, then you ended up backsliding to the old AFC you or in some cases even worse.

Yep. Past mistakes make you feel down and a little unsure of your skills! Even though I have had a very good amount of success, recent mistakes/failures sent me back to the "AFC world" lol!

But it's a good thing because it's time to think what happened and what went wrong, so it will not happen again!

We have good moments, and bad ones! That's ok.

As Mr.fingers said once, it's all a lesson we're learning!

 

[jakeyboy]

backsliding happens to the best of us, somedays i feel like throwing myself at the feet of my ex oneitis and declaring my eternal undying love for her, but then i rationalize and realize thats plain dumb. because whatever i do, she will NEVER be with me. backsliding may be because of external circumstances like you suddenly feel as if you cant get any women you like... and you start worrying unnecessarily... it happens to all of us at some point in life

a couple of beers with my best mate usually stops these crappy senseless thoughts.

life looks different now, i learnt how not to be a sucker and not to listen to empty promises from various people in the world, not even girlfriends

because nothing they say stands unless they prove themselves to you..

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I learnt how not to be a sucker and not to listen to empty promises from various people in the world, not even girlfriends

That is a good point. I use to get really upset with broken promises from people. Now I try to have not so much expectation, so I'll not get frustrated.

Sometimes those promises are nothing more than ways some people find (some girls too) to control others (men). We have to take this into account.

Pay attention to actions, not to words/(false) promises! That's the rule!

 

[jakeyboy]

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
Pay attention to actions, not to words/(false) promises! That's the rule!

well said mate

you can never be too sure a chick wont flake on you even after she has agreed to a date.

 

[Marcopolo]

I have gone back and fourth. My ex wife, whom I have been seperated for about 5 months now, turned me into not only an AFC but a WBAFC. In retrospect, I sort of became the male equvilent of an abused wife.
I am slowly working on myself to get back the person I was before, and to have fun meeting good women. I am not totally against marriage or "oneites", just be very careful who you get "oneitis" for, do not do it for the wrong woman. Easier said than done, I know.
There are a lot of psycho women out there, and some of them are such great actors they should be in Hollywood. They can fool men as easily as Ted Bundy fooled women.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

There are a lot of psycho women out there, and some of them are such great actors they should be in Hollywood.

In a fashioned way, usually you can call them:

Histironics (HPD) > Attention > Manipu > WATCH
Borderlines (BPD) > Wh0res > lations > OUT!

Narcissists (NPD), most of them too! In general people fom cluster B are great actors.

They can fool men as easily as Ted Bundy fooled women.

This web site is the antidote to all this mess. Let's keep reading!

 

[00Kevin]

1. yes i think this happens to everyone. I also think it HAS to happen to everyone . It is your breaking point. When you recover from it you will be a new person.

2. The younger I was the more of an AFC I was. I wouldn't even follow through with a girl who was pursuing me. It really was a shame. As I learned the hard way and became frustrated with girls. I started to realize a lot of what this site was saying on my own. The problem was that I couldn't articulate all these ideas. When I read through the articles i finally started to understand what I was doing wrong and everyting fit togeather. It was at that point that I sorted out my thoughts and had instant success with girls..

I can remember that after the first week or so of just reading through the DJ bible I had 3 girls going nuts about me. I can remeber one night when I had my ex girl friend sleeping on my couch alone and her friend in my bed.

I also started to have less hate for women. I started to accept them for who and what they are. I also became far less dependant on the idea of having a girl friend. I realized that I had to be able to accomplish my goals with out finding a girl first.

It was hard because all throughout my teens I was subjected to social conditioning from the media.

 

[Doc73]

yes i think this happens to everyone. I also think it HAS to happen to everyone . It is your breaking point. When you recover from it you will be a new person.

Thats exactly how I feel. You see for the past few weeks I had not only felt like an AFC, but a WBAFC in the worst sense. I went from feeling really confident in myself and starting to get noticed to being even more shy and self concious and basically giving away all my power. Coincidentally, this period of AFCness started when I stopped going to the gym. I am planning on hitting the gym tomorrow, and will be joining a regular gym after I get settled in my new place 500 miles away from where I am currently living.


Currently I am working toward my goals and to be honest I dont have time for a relationship or even dating at the moment. Getting my career started is the number one priority for me. As I said in a previous post, for me being a DJ isnt about scoring women and getting laid as much as it is improving your self and your personality. Til then I plan to work on my social skills and most importantly, NOT GIVE UP

 

[Sart]

nahh

The major reason anyone would slip back to AFC as you call it, is because thats what you wanted all along. Too many of you have absolutely no intention of changing, you are looking for an edge to get ONE girl and then LTR/Marry her. You are looking for tricks, the 6 easy steps, the magic observation skills. You want affirmation. Whenever a real DJ actually says something, half of you get offended. I have had dudes quote bible passages at me. You come to a site about getting laid and have to have some friggin red neck quote the bible at you?

I, for one, was one of the absolute weakest little buggers in the joint initially but I can listen. I can also read bullshyte from about 100 yards, so I ignored the 80% and listened to the 20% that mattered.

I am yet to be a pimp or DJ but there is no looking back. How can you slip back if you literally change your mindset? On to fukcing Berlin and take no fukcing prisoners and MEAN IT.

 

[00Kevin]

The point is that these people haven't really changed their mind set. They are still only acting like a DJ.

I think that if you find yourself sliping back to being an AFC then you really have more work to do. You are not a DJ yet.
Once you find yourself sliping back into your old ways and you recover from it you are one step closer to changing.

I just don't know of anyone who has tried to change themselves (physically or mentally) and hasn't had to resist their old ways.

The more you resist this urge the more you will change.

Going from AFC to DJ is like a criminal going from bad to good.
A criminal who wants to change his ways is usually told to first just act like a normal person. Eventually these people start to actually become a normal person.

First act like a DJ and it won't be long and you will become a DJ.

 

[ScrewIt]

back a couple years ago i didnt really socialize or talk to anyone especially girls. since i got nervous around them and barely had any experience with interacting with them, at the beginning of my freshmen year at college.

one day i fell AFC victim to this oneitis. then i got over it slowly over a year's period i got out of AFC.

I notice this year chicks that werent interested in me last year are interested in me now. and the oneitis that sees me is either intimidated by me now or nervous to talk to me (cause she thought in her mind that we were really good friends or some ****, and all of a sudden i act differently over the summer)

I think the main reason is i seem more focused on my goals, and school and other ****, that i dont have the time to build oneitis for any girl. I still interact with them but i guess i have a more confident and busy attitude that they admire.

but i've read the DJ bible about a year ago, i honestly dont think it helped me, if anything it confused me more. But it did teach me a thing or two about interacting with women and how to be non afc. If anything i'd say these 2 years has taught me a lot about becoming a better me and about girls. through experience.

I signup up for the gym about last january, i gained 20 lbs and lost most of it by now (im underweight). i havent been hitting the gym lately (im lazy now) and i dont really care all that much about getting big, since i feel good and confident about myself as is already.

these are some things ive learned in the past 2 years:
As long as your confident in everything u do, you wont need this site, things happen naturally with girls. I mean look at man and woman before books or comps were invented they did fine w/o it. and those of u who sit in front of teh comp all day, get out and practice ur social skills it helps a lot, meet new ppl etc, even if its strangers.

Interacting with ppl or girls while focusing on ur own goals show taht u arent desperate (and they may believe u already got a SO),
ppl will respect u more espeically girls and this will attract them.

many of u will have to learn from past mistakes like i have. You may not see what im talking about now, but when u learn from your mistakes, u'll realize you wont need this site.

But if anything after these 2 years, my personality has become better and stronger and more self-assured, self confident.

I admit im no DJ, but change takes time, and in the end, thats what we all need.

oh and btw, i havent visited this site for almost a year

 

[Marcopolo]

In a fashioned way, usually you can call them:

Histironics (HPD) > Attention > Manipu > WATCH
Borderlines (BPD) > Wh0res > lations > OUT!

Narcissists (NPD), most of them too! In general people fom cluster B are great actors.

In a fashioned way, usually you can call them:

Histironics (HPD) > Attention > Manipu > WATCH
Borderlines (BPD) > Wh0res > lations > OUT!

Narcissists (NPD), most of them too! In general people fom cluster B are great actors.

Mine was BPD. Never again!