a question on self improvement

[Deadly_Assassin]

My sister just told me that i am kinda shallow, my other chick mate just called me a man *****. I seem to like chicks for their looks n take their personalities as a bonus. I value sex more than the actual relationship, now some of you might say u are just being a typical male, but I dont wanna be a typical male, I wanna be different, I want to become a real man who cares more about personality than looks. I am funny, confident, caring sometimes, intelligent, smart, open minded, helpful kinda attractive as well. But i feel that this area in my life or this attitude needs to be changed or improved or watever, is there anything like some field excerices I can do to change this?

 

[hardwork]

Discussion.

 

[evolvingnerd]

if you wanna try to be emotional and what not, try watching some chick flicks, some romantic films

i always feel afc and emotional after those

 

[biker_gixxer]

Sounds to me like you want to become the man 'they' (meaning your sister and other girls you've talked with) want you to be. I hope your next post isn't going to read 'how do i become more sensative and caring'. Come on bro, there is nothing wrong with your current attitude, in my opinion. Don't let women, or anyone else for that matter, try to change who you are. Real men don't care what others think.

 

[Aresx]

"Sounds to me like you want to become the man 'they' (meaning your sister and other girls you've talked with) want you to be. I hope your next post isn't going to read 'how do i become more sensative and caring'. Come on bro, there is nothing wrong with your current attitude, in my opinion. Don't let women, or anyone else for that matter, try to change who you are. Real men don't care what others think."

i spent 18 years of my life turning into what my sister and mother thought was a great guy - i thought i would be a pimp.. unfortunately, nothing happened until i broke their advice and then i got a gf...

dude, you have the rest of your life to be however you want to be and to fall in love

enjoy sex for sex's sake while you still want to. eventually you'll change, but accept the way you are right now.

by trying to net be a 'typical male' you'll turn into a 'typical AFC'

be a fukkin man, do what you feel like, and read my friggin signature

 

[Dirtheart]

What you need to develop is compassion and empathy - the ability to see and feel things from the perspective of others.

I practised Buddhism for a few years and I also study NLP, and the ability to empathise has been an important aspect of my progress in these areas. It has given me an exceptional ability to understand and relate to people, to the point where I can (and have) in some instances read people's minds.

And for the record, understanding doesn't mean wussy. It's a gift, and having this gift makes it easy to build rapport with anybody, and ultimately makes me a likeable and extremely popular person.

So if you are serious about developing a deeper personality, then I suggest practising empathy. Just take the time to imagine yourself as a person you know or even someone you see on TV, consider what decisions you are presented with, what thoughts, fears, joys may be going through your head and how it makes you feel.

 

[Aresx]

dirtheart - it's hard to believe you being so educated/compasionate/kind whatever...

i saw your picture and you look like a badass - much improvement from your duckling phase...

man, i would think you're just a badass, but i guess you're just normal, but look like a badass...

wow, stereotype broken for now

 

[frivolousz21]

what is NLP?


and how was the buddhist studying???

 

[Dirtheart]

Aresx: ha, it's very strange that more people are saying that I look like a badass (or at least more masculine) since I started bulking up, yet around 5 months ago people were calling me a prettyboy, wimp and assuming I was gay.


Frivolous: NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and it's a form of applied psychology. If you run a search on the Internet you are bound to find out lots of links.

As for the Buddhism, I still respect and follow the basic principles, but I was really put off by all the formalities, ceremonies, commercialism and especially the hypocrisy that exists somewhere in all organised religions.

 

[frivolousz21]

I am taking a history of religion class...and I love the basic principles of Buddhism but I agree with you about the rest of it.

thanks I will do a search on NLP

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

u do have a point that i should not change because of what my sister said or what my other mate said. But it seems like I treat the hot chicks or the ones with looks better than the ones that are average. And that I just want to be in a relationship for the sex. I just read the 10 commandments by Mr. fingz n the first commandment, Thou shalt not worship good looks. What I am trying to say is I am trying to learn how to treat all women the same. And when I see a beautiful woman that I must not judge her by her looks but by what shes like on the inside. That I must look past her beauty n get to know the real her. I havent come to this site so I can get sex with the ladies, I can get that whenever I want. I am wanting a LTR with someone.

 

[bootlegger]

IMO.

You talk too damn much.


You need to learn how to deceive people.


When my female friends talk about a girl that I've slept with or what not... I don't mention her looks, I don't mention how hot her pu**y was, etc...

I say something about her sense of humor, or 'contagious laugh', etc. -

Never tell them what they want to know... once you do that- you give up power to them.

As long as they are wondering what type of guy you are, they are talking amongst themselves, and you have the power.