A question about an inexperienced girl.

[EastWind]

I'd like opinions and advice on the following situation. For the record, I'm 22, living in Germany and currently in my fourth year of a physics Diploma.

My very good friend's girlfriend (whom I also get along with great) brought her younger sister, age 19, to Uni with her this week to help her decide where and what to study. I didn't think much of it, but got to know her better and found her interesting enough to invest more energy.

She was being very friendly and open towards me, which her sister told me never, ever happened before about a guy. Two overall attempts to kiss her at appropriate times failed, so I decided she wasn't interested after all. After she left town again, her sister (my friend's girlfriend) told me her mom had called to ask about me, that her sister was just an incredibly indecisive person, that the way she had acted meant she really, really liked me a lot and was interested and gave me her (younger sister's) number. I also found out the younger sister is 100% inexperienced with guys because she never "found one she was really interested in".

So, I'm asking for opinions or advice based on you guys's experiences in similar situation, i.e. younger women with little experience.

I would immediately ditch any girl with more experience that was "undecided" about me because I'm well aware it simply means she's not interested. She's not my only subject of interest right now, simply one of the more interesting ones. I have to be a tad more careful because she is related to good friends of mine. The question is whether or not a very indecisive and unexperienced girl actually has to be "pursued" a tad more to bring about an enjoyable experience.

Nevermind whether I want to be the one to teach her everything, that's my problem. It's all about whether she can actually be interested while holding back, because she's young & inexperienced.

Thanks,
EastWind

 

[EastWind]

Seriously? This was the second time I've posted a question or tip that can't be answered with a simple "next her" or "read up on this" or "man up", and - surprise - nobody answers.

I get the impression that most of the posters here lurk around and as soon as an easy thread is started, they jockey for the "I told him to man up first" position. Most of the answers to posts around here are either very simple or basic or, in the case of actual good first posts, a simple "very good tip!!" or "+1".

Sad.

 

[Soprano]

im really not sure what your problem is.......from reading your post it sounds like you know she likes you.......so continue what you were doing and make her like you more......touch her shoulder/arm when saying something to make physical contact no longer foriegn......

 

[Cinamon]

Obviously I am looking at this from a womans point of view, but the fact that she is inexperienced puts an element of social responsibility on you if you chose to date her. You know you are going to have to treat her real nice, put in a lot more effort because the relationship she has with you will be the thing that sets the benchmark for all future relationships and you dont want her thinking guys are just b@st@rds.

I would say pursue it, its definitely worth it. If you are the first guy she is going to be intimate with, that will be unforgetable for her regardless of how good or not so good it is.

 

[jophil28]

IF a woman is inexperienced then she needs to be led SLOWLY. You are expecting her to take steps into unknown territory, so each step needs to be safe (but still a little exciting) .
This young lady is probably highly anxious and easily spooked - gunshy.
It was premature of you to try to kiss her, twice, no less. This is a go-slow project - don't scare her with that weapon of yours until she is well and truly warmed up and pursuing you.

 

[Igetit!]

My very good friend's girlfriend (whom I also get along with great) brought her younger sister, age 19, to Uni with her this week to help her decide where and what to study.

She was being very friendly and open towards me, which her sister told me never, ever happened before about a guy. Two overall attempts to kiss her at appropriate times failed, so I decided she wasn't interested after all. After she left town again, her sister (my friend's girlfriend) told me her mom had called to ask about me, that her sister was just an incredibly indecisive person, that the way she had acted meant she really, really liked me a lot and was interested and gave me her (younger sister's) number. I also found out the younger sister is 100% inexperienced with guys because she never "found one she was really interested in".

Well first of all,I agree with Cinamon. This girl may be "hot" or "attractive",but even that may not be enough to overcome all the frustrations you'll have by getting involved with a "virgin" dater.


Things that you might consider ordinary or basic with dating might be thought of as "too much too soon" by her. It may take her a month or two to get comfortable with things normal girls would be fine with on the second or third date.



What threw me off about this was that you said you tried two times to kiss her and were turned down both times. Well answer this...



Have you taken her out on a date yet? Have you even asked her out?


Your friend's girlfriend told you that this girl liked you. That was a que for you to ask her out,NOT try to kiss her.



YES,she can be interested in you AND REJECT you trying to kiss her at the same time.




There's a sequence to dating. Attraction first,then COMFORT,then Seduction.




This girl was interested in you,so there's the attraction. The comfort is you two talking,going out on dates and getting better aquainted with each other,then comes the sexual/physical part.




Seem to me like as soon as you were told she was interested in you,you bypassed the asking her out and having dates,and just went straight towards the getting physical.




You can't do that with a normal girl,much less a chick who's new to the whole dating scene.




Stop trying to kiss her and ask her out. And while out on the date,don't spend the whole time trying to kiss her or grope her. Actually talk to her so you two can get more comfortable with each other.





Do the handholding and other kino,but anything resembling foreplay is out.



Just do what Jolphil28 said and you should be ok.

 

[EastWind]

Thanks everyone. There was comfort building beforehand, but I suppose it just wasn't enough for a completely inexperienced girl. Her sister practically forced her number into my cellphone. Time will tell.