a problem with Pookism

[aguynamedwill]

Almost 4 years ago I got burned by a cute girl because I was an ultimateAFC. I had learned the behavior from my father and didn't know any other way to act with women, or in life itself.

But then I found this site, and started reading the way of Pook. I understood his view of improving myself first, worrying about girls later. I was unemployed at the time, living with relatives and desperately shy. I had no life. I was afraid to live.

So now, I take risks, and I'm doing real well with my investments. I've cleaned myself up real good, I got over being shy, I even got dates. I've made some good male friends, cool guys, not complete losers like I used to settle for.

But I'm concerned with my new attitude towards women. Maybe I just haven't found the right kind of girl yet, but I just find most women incredibly annoying. I worry I might miss out on wonderful opportunities because I hold them all to standards they can't hope to meet.

I'm being patient and enduring, focusing (attempting to) on my goals in life, but I'd like to share the fruits of my labor with someone truly deserving of my attention.

Any comments/advice welcome, especially from those who have been at this juncture.

 

[Life-Trainee]

What's the age bracket of women that you date?

 

[Don_Marko]

Aww come on man.... you have a problem with Pook's posts because you don't have a girl you like?

Do you really have quality girls around you? Or you are just excusing yourself by holding yourself above everyone else

 

[johnny_chase]

where are you looking for women? Me, when i always find the good ones, the intellectual witty ones(the way i like it), is when i least expect it. As soon as i stop thinking about finding girls, they show up.

I just stopped expecting things to happen, so that when they did happen, it was great surprise. I mean, it's not like i go out "on the hunt".

there are some good ones out there, trust me, just go about your life, and when you see a good one, you'll know, or even she'll let you know

 

[aguynamedwill]

no, I agree with Pook

I don't have a problem with his posts. I embraced his attitude of self-focus. I'm doing great for myself, yet I'm finding it harder to meet women because I now have these standards that just aren't being met. My whole view of women has distorted because I've changed and they...just haven't.

Age might be a factor. I go for younger women 18-22 or so. But do girls ever grow up? Plenty of older women obsess about tanning, gossip forever, and have to have the latest fashions.

 

[dirtymexican]

aguynamedwill:

I had the same problem.. You know what i realized..? IT was the age group/ the type of women i was going after..! 18-22 are way too immature if you want a LTR. 18-22 age group are all about problems, immaturity, drama and infidelity. If all you want is to hit and run then 18-22 is good for ya.. If you think about it. That may be all their good for. Occasionally you will find a mature 21-22 yr old chick but... At that age they are legally party girls. Change your age limit and you might be surprised..!

 

[Vincent]

Uhm try harder and keep going?

 

[SamePendo]

Read more Pook.

 

[strong like bull]

Maybe I just haven't found the right kind of girl yet, but I just find most women incredibly annoying.

maybe because... most women ARE incredible annoying!

if youve got your **** together, youre driven, youre educated, youre passionate, youre successful... what can women offer you? what is it that youre looking for? if you want a companion who can keep up with you; someone on YOUR level, you probably wont find it in 18-22 age group. as previously stated, those girls are still trying to get THEIR **** together. if their life is in shambles, what can they add to yours?

i am 19, my girlfriend is 21. back when i was 17, i dated a 21 yr old. if things didnt work out with my current gf, id go down the list to this 28 yr old WOMAN whos very interested. shes got her degrees, her career, her **** together. yeah, the young girls are fun to **** but many cant offer much more than that. no career, no stability, no honesty, no loyalty. blah.

-SLB

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

What do you want a woman to be in your life?

Don't confuse a woman with a wife, or with the masculine roles we men play. And don't try to fix women either. They aren't broken, they're women.

I used to think this way as well, because I'm incredibly driven, and I expected to find a woman like myself. But then I realized, that's not what I want her to be. I want her to be sexy, fun, and playful, everything that my busy life isn't or can't be. I'm not looking for a business partner -- I am looking for a fun partner. Sure, you can have good convo, but no person can be all things. We all have a great focus in 1 area.

Another facet is stop living from the highly touted arena of "prizism." You have self-worth based on what you want for yourself. If you give yourself lowly women, few opportunities in life, and don't take care of or nourish your mind, body, and spirit, you're giving yourself low value. But, if you seek worthwhile, beautiful women, who challenge you, but also respect you, then you place high value on yourself.

I've kept in touch with many of the women I've dated in the past, and few, if any of have truly changed from Cheerleader to Martha Stewart. MOST, start out as Marth Stewart and evolve to greater plateaus. But our maturation process as guys is much different than women, and few lasses will be your business, sports, or politics complement. Save that for your buddy's.

One doesn't realize it, but if keep going on about such neutral topics, you can desexualize a situation.

I had this sense of epiphany the other day about "my attraction" toward women, and it wasn't so much that I want Jessica Biel (though I'd like her), but I find women who appreciate their bodies, like having their tits, enjoy BEING a woman, and having sex as a woman, and dressing as women, to be very sexy. Any girl could be this way, it's just embracing their femininity. Same with guys...as men, to be more masculine, just enjoy what you are. Enjoy having the random hair, and sweating, and grab your **** and appreciate your masculinity.

Men/women attraction works on Poles, much like North/South does. In order for there to be balanced attraction, polarity must be opposite. But when you find a girl who's very uncomfortable with herself, her skin, sex, or being feminine, don't you find it hard to be attracted to her?

Young women are appealing in this regard to older men for their youth, energy, vibrancy, as well as feminine power. They enliven older men (such as 18 y.o. woman to a 24 y.o. man).

Again, what are you looking for? Rather than be so focused on a specific relationship, why not find the woman? And to do that you must try all women, even if they're not amenable to a relationship right now. They say in sales...

You don't necessarily go for the easy prospect, the one who say's yes easily to you, because they could say yes easily to anyone, and customer-jump on you at anytime. Whereas, a harder sale through long-term contact results a stronger relationship due to time and investment.

I've kinda always upheld that if you get into an LTR, it has to be mutually beneficial, and bring more to me than being single would, i.e. more, and hotter sex, openness, fun, etc.

Life isn't so rigid as to have a plan, why does your dating life need to be as so?




A-Unit

 

[myfriendblu]

Your 25, why would you wanna date someone between the ages of 18-22 anyways. How bout 24-28? World of a difference my friend, world of a difference

 

[johnny_chase]

[A-unit]
That was possibly one of the best posts i have read around here in a while, simply amazing. I agree totally with everything you have to say, for me sometimes the hottest ones are just the ones who act like they're girls and nothing more; ie they're not broken they're women.

Slowly i am starting to realise what you have, about what i really want in a chick.

Good post

 

[aguynamedwill]

to A-unit and others

I'm not so sure I understand.

so what you're saying is, I should stop focusing on finding a woman that impresses me, but just find one that I can enjoy being around?

So I should look for a pleasing appearance and fun personality and disregard their circumstances? I mean a cute girl that's fun to hang out with is great, but if she works at Walmart with no plans for the future, and she's obsessed with fashion and hollywood gossip, how can I ignore that? How can I even relate to her? If she racks up debt like it doesn't matter, how can I ignore that?

please elaborate

 

[arq-dj1]

very nice topic indeed
it helped me figure out some stuff too

well, im with a real woman, who is not afraid of being a woman...
Although she hasnt yet suprized me with her intelligence (im really into phylosofy and etc...), i like hanging out with her..

dude, its impossible to find the perfect one, u can try to show them why u don't like those hollywood shyt, or anything else for that matter,...

don't try to change her, but try making her realise why do u thing that she should change some aspects of her life

not imposing, however showing ur point with rooted arguments

 

[AverageFC]

strong like bull:

teach me to be strong like bull and get the older women