a problem that shouldnt be?

[thedude4242]

got a question here. I am wondering why I am not getting woman as easily. I do alright. woman of all ages find me attractive and I have been told by a lot them I am a cute guy. for a white guy I get lots of this from black girls too, probably more than other one I know. I dress nice, I am clean with superb hygeine. I am confident too. I notice woman who check me out all the time. a lot guys always ask me wheres all the girls at or they will say man I wish I could get them like you. I know I get dudes that I know to come and talk to me and want to hang out because I know where and how to get them with ease. even other woman assume that I get a lot of woman. its all there but how come it is not working? 3 things I think might be the problem. I seem to have a problem after getting the number to making a "date" but I dont want to be the one who always iniates because then I feel like I lost and they think I got him, which I feel does happen. why cant a woman make some moves? I refuse to be a begger or be desperate when I aint getting what I want.

1. I am not pushy enough
2. I call too soon
3. I dont flirt enough or show interest.

a common problem is that if I dont show "interest" woman will say I never knew you liked me. you never showed any signs. or I will move to fast and people tell me that I need to slow down.

opinions would be appreciated.

 

[thedude4242]

any expert answers?

 

[AAAgent]

First understand that if you're a novice and don't know how to increase interest level (IL), than if she is interested you have a very short time frame to capitalize on this interest. Short can even mean that by the time you're done the conversation she's not interested anymore.

Second, its easier to just start fresh and have the girl see you as a man instead of a friend or emotional tampon. Don't try to make friends with them but instead just go straight up to her and want to dance.

Girls will alot of times say "no, i don't think so."
"Maybe, later."

Or things that don't straight out say no.

That's because they don't know you and are waiting for you to make them a LITTLE bit more comfortable. Find a way to ease their tension, to get them to dance or go outside for a stroll with you.

When a girl tell me's later. i usually take a huge step back and step right back forward and say something along the lines of "Are you ready now?" and smile. They want to know that you're not some psycho serial killer but at the same time want to know that if they go with you they'll have fun or won't be bored.

third...Unless you're brad pitt or have a very social proof circle most of the time you will have to approach women, and as a man....that's really how it should be. It teaches you to go after what you want, opportunities come and go. You have to seize the ones you want and capitalize on them.

lastly, learn to be aggressive, lead, but do be pushy. Understand what a fake no is and what a real no is and learn how to work around them. Learn not to overdo things and these things only come with experience. Just go out in the field and record your failures and successes and eventually through trial and error you will understand what you have been doing wrong.

 

[thedude4242]

I need some more help on this.

 

[thedude4242]

anyone know about this here. I had woman tell me I look mean, wtf I am suppose to be gay looking with a smile on my face all the time?

 

[Igetit!]

got a question here. I am wondering why I am not getting woman as easily. I do alright. woman of all ages find me attractive and I have been told by a lot them I am a cute guy. for a white guy I get lots of this from black girls too, probably more than other one I know. I dress nice, I am clean with superb hygeine. I am confident too.

Well,you do know that women are EMOTIONAL,don't you?

And I don't mean that they cry easily. I mean that if you want to date her,you have to effect her emotions.


Women are more emotional,while we men are more physical.


You seem to be trying to get women by focusing more on YOUR PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES than on their emotions and feelings.



You being "cute" or dressing nice means nothing if she doesn't "feel" anything when she's around you.

I notice woman who check me out all the time.

Well obviously your looks get women's attention,but looks alone CAN'T KEEP her interest.

There has to be some type of feeling there.

A fire,passion,some type of chemistry/energy.


The way you describe things,I get a picture in my mind of a Christmas tree.


It's tall,beautifully decorated with sliver and gold,has a star on top,candy canes,the works.



It looks good,but when you flip the switch to turn the lights on,nothing happens.


There's no electricity,no excitement,no power there. There's no "spark".


You might want to put a little more effort into how women feel instead of just expecting your looks to win them over.

...I dont want to be the one who always iniates because then I feel like I lost and they think I got him, which I feel does happen.

This is a HUGE problem here. You need to get over this.

You're the MAN here. It's YOUR job to initiate.

And this "I feel like I lost"...I don't know what that is,but you need to get over it. If you feel like you lost when you initaite things with a girl,then you're doing something wrong.

I'd say that's more of your problem than anything else.

why cant a woman make some moves?

Because she's a woman. And even if she isn't "hot",she still has guys approaching her.


That's just reality for women,that's the "norm".


Men approach women...period.


The sooner you understand and ACCEPT that instead of wishing it were different,the better off you'll be.

I refuse to be a begger or be desperate when I aint getting what I want.

Where did this come from?

A begger? Being desperate? What post,thread,or article here on Sosuave did you read that told you to do these things?


Initiating and being a begger/desperate are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.


Initiating is you approaching a girl and letting her know you're interested in her.


Being a begger/desperate is either continuing to pursuing her when she's made it clear she's not interested in you,or you continuing to pursue her after not getting her hints for you to leave her alone.

a common problem is that if I dont show "interest" woman will say I never knew you liked me. you never showed any signs. or I will move to fast and people tell me that I need to slow down.

Well you need to find a middle ground here.

How about just telling a girl you'd like to see her. Then gauge her response to determine what to do next.


That way you won't have to worry again about a girl telling you she never knew you liked her,and at the same time by seeing how she reacts to your show of interest you don't move too fast because your "game" with be adjusted to how she responds to you.