"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

A problem I thought I'd never have...

JCballin88

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 21, 2009
Messages
270
Reaction score
10
Location
FL
Basically I've taken the forum's advice and started actively pursuing girls (or plates, whatever) while already having one in the fold.

My situation is essentially this:

Girl A (HB 6.5-7ish): Met her at a party...she is several years younger than me and very busy with work/school...is actually a pretty good down-to-earth girl who is adamant about saving herself for marriage. As a virgin from a Christian background, I can kinda respect this, although I'm definitely open to sex before marriage (duh...haha).

Girl B (Also a 6.5-7ish): Kind-of a wild card...closer to my age...met her through work (although I hardly ever see her there since we work in totally separate areas). She really isn't the kinda girl I could "bring home to the folks," but is still fun to hang out with. Things have been getting hot and heavy in our texts lately, and today she pretty much propositioned me for sex whenever I actually want to go to her place.

The problem: Girl A is downright infatuated with me...and while I like her, I'm not sure I want to get exclusive right now. She pretty much acts like we ARE exclusive, even though I've never officially asked her. I know she would be devastated if she even knew I was talking to Girl B. While I'd rather not be a 40-year-old virgin, I don't know how I'd feel about banging girl B right now.

What do I do about this? I don't really want to date either one long-term, but I like having both of them in the fold. Am I wrong for going to see Girl B before officially being in a relationship with A?

Give me some wisdom fellas.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Chamber36

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
1,556
Reaction score
286
Location
Amsterdam
If you haven't banged either, then there should be no moral issues.

Only after you bang one could they bring up talk about exclusivity, imho.
 

Sofomore

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 20, 2009
Messages
640
Reaction score
30
seems to me you think the younger one is cuter. go with your gut...do you want to get laid or be in a relationship?
 

JoelyBoy

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 22, 2011
Messages
37
Reaction score
0
you need to learn how to please a girl, the first couple of times aren't the best! I would get girl B to teach you (don't tell her she's teaching you though!) and then, once she loses interest, (which I imagine she will, being a wild card-she just wants to bang-no romance) you will have more confidence in general and with girl A. If girl A changes her mind and doesn't like you anymore, you'll be kicking yourself for not getting it on with girl B. Trust me, it's happened to me LOTS in the past!! SEIZE THE DAY
 

Aaron B

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2005
Messages
910
Reaction score
29
its not fair for you to treat her like a child

you have to operate based on the notion that she is a competent, mature adult woman

you have no obligation to protect her from herself

you probably couldn't even if you wanted to

if she gets her feelings involved and thinks she is your girlfriend but you don't want to be exclusive, that's on her not you
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,411
Reaction score
5,176
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
JCballin88 said:
Basically I've taken the forum's advice and started actively pursuing girls (or plates, whatever) while already having one in the fold.

My situation is essentially this:

Girl A (HB 6.5-7ish): Met her at a party...she is several years younger than me and very busy with work/school...is actually a pretty good down-to-earth girl who is adamant about saving herself for marriage. As a virgin from a Christian background, I can kinda respect this, although I'm definitely open to sex before marriage (duh...haha).

Then just be friends with her. She can still be good social proof and probably has more adventurous friends. If she wants to save herself, respect that and don't get in the way.

Girl B (Also a 6.5-7ish): Kind-of a wild card...closer to my age...met her through work (although I hardly ever see her there since we work in totally separate areas). She really isn't the kinda girl I could "bring home to the folks," but is still fun to hang out with. Things have been getting hot and heavy in our texts lately, and today she pretty much propositioned me for sex whenever I actually want to go to her place.

You gotta strike when the iron is hot. Remember, when a chick wants to b*ng you, it is usually a limited time offer. While some more advanced SS guys might be able to close a chick months or a year later, that is NOT the norm for most guys.

If you don't, some other sausage vulture will move in.


The problem: Girl A is downright infatuated with me...and while I like her, I'm not sure I want to get exclusive right now. She pretty much acts like we ARE exclusive, even though I've never officially asked her.

You haven't actually dated her right? She just has a crush on you. She'll get over it. Keep things friendly and polite, but don't flirt with her anymore. No need to lead her on more.

I know she would be devastated if she even knew I was talking to Girl B. While I'd rather not be a 40-year-old virgin, I don't know how I'd feel about banging girl B right now.

If you're just not attracted to B, that's fine. But otherwise, feel free to go for it.

What do I do about this? I don't really want to date either one long-term, but I like having both of them in the fold.

With all due respect, you're being a male version of an AW lol. You are enjoying the attention of both girls but not looking for anything with either.

Am I wrong for going to see Girl B before officially being in a relationship with A?

No. You would be wrong to hook up with B if you actually WERE in a relationship with A. But you aren't.

Give me some wisdom fellas.
Girl A is not compatible with you because she wants to save herself for marriage. Girl B is ready and willing. You are either attracted enough to B to seal the deal or you aren't. It's no big deal either way bro. You don't have to hook up with her. It's your call. I just want you to see this more objectively.
 
Top