A preview of things to come?

[TodayisTomorrow]

My gf of 5 years stays at my apt. a lot and on occasion doesn't clean up after herself. I've been trying to be better about keeping a clean place so I asked her yesterday to throw away here coke can that she barely drank since she said she was done with it. She replies with I'm going to drink it tomorrow in a serious manner even though I know she's just trying to be difficult and doesn't like me "telling" her what to do. I repeat my request firmly and she ignores me. I take this as a sign of disrespect and say fine you better drink it tomorrow then and we go to bed. Obviously the next day she doesn't drink it and I ask her again to throw away the pop. She sits there ignoring me so I ignore her untill she finally does like 3 hours later. We have been thinking about moving in next year together but I'm hesitant to when such a small thing like this turns into a huge ordeal. I think she has major issues not being able to take request from other people (the dreaded IdowhatIwantmentallity) She insists she was just joking but it's clearly her away of not accepting any responsibility. She tried to turn around on me saying I don't throw away my stuff and blah blah blah. I'm aware of how stupid this argument was but I have a feeling it's just a a preview of what's in store if we move in. Thoughts?

 

[Warrior74]

Read my sig.

 

[jophil28]

My gf of 5 years stays at my apt. a lot and on occasion doesn't clean up after herself. I've been trying to be better about keeping a clean place so I asked her yesterday to throw away here coke can that she barely drank since she said she was done with it. She replies with I'm going to drink it tomorrow in a serious manner even though I know she's just trying to be difficult and doesn't like me "telling" her what to do. I repeat my request firmly and she ignores me. I take this as a sign of disrespect and say fine you better drink it tomorrow then and we go to bed. Obviously the next day she doesn't drink it and I ask her again to throw away the pop. She sits there ignoring me so I ignore her untill she finally does like 3 hours later. We have been thinking about moving in next year together but I'm hesitant to when such a small thing like this turns into a huge ordeal. I think she has major issues not being able to take request from other people (the dreaded IdowhatIwantmentallity) She insists she was just joking but it's clearly her away of not accepting any responsibility. She tried to turn around on me saying I don't throw away my stuff and blah blah blah. I'm aware of how stupid this argument was but I have a feeling it's just a a preview of what's in store if we move in. Thoughts?

THis behavior in her is an indication of a defiant and oppositional personality. IT is some kind of childish perversion. She has not fully grown up and has some kind of compulsive need to feel that "nobody tells me what to do ".. SHe does nor want to be accountable or answerable to you. I had a G/f who was like this. She would debate and argue til dawn rather that comply with my wishes.


I can guarantee that her mindset will manifest itself in many other ways.
Living with a woman with this disorder is a recipe for endless frustration. Does she sprout all that crap about how she sees herself as "a strong and independent woman " ?

Women like this are beyond irritating.

 

[CGE333]

I would just tell her that the girl that spent the night the night before (or whenever your gf did not) is a nice girl and cleans up after herself

In my single days i used to approach a lot of women and get a lot of #'s at the local coffee shop. After getting the # i would pay attention to when they left. If they threw their trash away, i would call them. If they left their trash on the table (i read that as them thinking they were better than the coffee shop workers) and i decided they were a selfish bytch and i threw their # away without calling them.

This women thinks she has you 100% sold on her bill of goods and that you are puzzy whipped. It is only a matter of time until her IL plummets and she cheats on you. Of course, that probably won't happen until you are living together and you are paying most/all of the bills.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Interesting that a guy who has a gf of 5 years found his way on a seduction forum. Having second thoughts about the relationship are we? I think this 'Coke Can' incident is minor to an a more serious issue in your relationship that you haven't discussed in your post.

 

[NewMan]

This is such a BS issue for fvck sake.

If it bothers YOU, then you do something about it - ie. throw it away.

Let's put things into perspective here - your not going to change her - sure she may clean up her act for a short time, but in the end we are who we are, and this is not something that will change.

If you don't want to throw her can away yourself, then you'd better re-think this relationship.

In the grand scheme of things - this is just a tiny piece of fly sh1t on a whole pile.

I suspect there are other issues as HPNOTIQ suggested.

 

[Interceptor]

Interesting that a guy who has a gf of 5 years found his way on a seduction forum. Having second thoughts about the relationship are we? I think this 'Coke Can' incident is minor to an a more serious issue in your relationship that you haven't discussed in your post.

Im wondering if he is uncomfortable with her not supporting his new lifestyle, or is it because NOW hes freaking out, and is looking for anything to stop moving forward with her.
If hes 'changing the rules' on her, this is not a classy move.

If shes not being supportive of his new habits and lifestyle choices, then he needs to communicate to her why he feels it is important to him.

Theres a lot of unanswered questions going on in here....

 

[SuavePlaya]

Well first off she should take her lazy ass and throw it out. There is an old saying that you can't turn a donkey into a horse. Yes, if this bothers you then there will be things to come.