"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A pedophile took my girl

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Ain't that some classic sh*t? All I know is that if that faggot EVER EVER EVER EVER tries talking or calls my sister again he will f*cking be punished because its just plain f*cking wrong. I'd never try to f*ck my friend's girl in front of him. Thats only asking for an ass whoopin and only AFCs fight guys over b*tches but this dude really f*cking puts the whip cream on the motherf*cking cake.

Think of it this way. You buy some alcohol and drugs to celebrate your come back from prison and so you also decide to invite the guy who you didn't want over in the first place because he's a disaster waiting to happen, just because you're an easy going guy and would like to give everyone a good time. Your at the house chilling and being crazy and this demented freak starts getting all sexual with your girl. Absolute total disrespect. He f*cks your girl the next night and you have to find out from other sources and then to totally shake that backboneless f*ck's hand the next night because you're more of a man than that. It kills me. And it kills me more to receive text messages and calls from this girl, in fact, she was just a piece of ass, she's just a hoe, she's a groupie that keeps coming back and carries a briefcase full of bullsh*t. This dumb sh*t b*tch still texts and emails me and expects me to be cool..So I text her "Look Sarah, you seemed like a girl worth dating Dimebag , but I feel like I'm wasting my time just by texting you this sh*t, am I wrong?" and dumb hoe texts me back and asks if the girl that told me about the fag asking her out was with me...I didn't reply...Damn I've been rejected before, and I've been cheated on before but this is ridiculous.. Maybe this b*tch thinks she's a player. F*ck her, f*ck that guy and if I see them at the bar or at the next party or at the next orgy they better get the f*ck back, because they better not f*ck with this motherf*cker. Motherf*ckers trying to grab my **** in the hallway, I will smack thee..



At first I was like "no, daniel is probably just being nice to her and telling her how cool of a guy Dimebag_Darrell(not Dimebag Darrell) is" but lest does my ass know that the ****aroaches are in the bathroom with the door locked doing who knows what. Man that sh*t really f*cks with me and
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ohiofutballa

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well dimebag i applaud the way you handled the situation in dealing with the girl and guy, i personally would have lost it and kicked the guys ass...but im just a hot-head

All you can do is move on, i wouldnt even waste my time texting this ho. You can do better, good luck in the future
 

Climax

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Chilax!

dude... u need to chill out ok... i mean... could u not tell that she was a h0e by the way she acted before? dude... dont get strssed out about this sh!t... just forget about her and go find yourself a nice quality woman! And stop being so d@mn violent, girls dont like that man! By you shaking his hand etc and not punching his lights out shows me that you are a quality person, but then i see the violence in your writing, and it kinda scares me, so what you think it would do to a girl?:rolleyes: Anyways... u have every right to be pissed off now, any guy would, but try not to think about it and just move on.. its HER LOSS, not yours man! you are better than her, and when u made her YOU B!TCH you were kinda ASKING for this to happen... u should be able to tell if a girl is a hoe or not WAY before u ask her to be your b!tch.

Well anyways... take it easy and i wish you luck for the future, and please DO try and loose that violent side of u that sometimes seems to take over you... ur a man of quality and respect, make yourself whole by loosing that violent side to you, and i'm sure that u will attract FAR mroe QUALITY women, inlike this h0e.

Laterz...
 
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Dude yesterday i went to my friends house and pedophile was there sitting on the couch...I kept my composure. He goes off and tells her last night that Im pissed off at her and so she text's me and calls and wants to know if it's true..

She said that she was sorry and only wanted to be friends and I replied with asking "whoever said I wanted to be more than friends. I never said I wanted to be your bf, FB, etc...got it babe?"

and then I called her and set her straight and how I have problems with pedophile for reasons I couldn't reveal to her, etc...she talked with me for like 10 minutes about how her life is boring and then I hung up..

She might think we're still cool, but I can't just all of the sudden be buddy buddy with a girl I wanted to go out with, so she's definately nexted and if she takes offense, **** her because she went off and f*cked Albert Fish Jr.

Today, school starts again and I once more have to go and scout for women, but this time with an attitude more congruent to the philosophy of this site.

Its funny how reading all this don juan stuff over the past year has helped me cope with rejections and situation like the ones described previously, its helped me turn these setbacks into hope for the future and success, because I WILL HAVE IT!
 
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Climax

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All i can say.. is that i wish you the best of luck for the future man;) And yes, if u will it, it is no legend! MAKE IT YOUR REALITY!

Laterz...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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HEAVY DUUUUUDE!!!!!!!!

Man I really don't wanna see that girl again to tell you the truth though....Its like seeing the police officers that beat my ass in county jail again..its sickening.
 

Climax

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-^!^-

So then dont see her again... phone her up and tell her that u want nothing to do with her, i mean... SHE CHEATED ON YOU man! wtf? u dont need that sh!t.... So either u keep her around as a F*ck-buddy, or you tell her to f*ckoff... she doesnt deserve your friendship!

Laterz...
 
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Dude i go to school with the c*nt and so I will undoubtedly see her and all I know is, she better get the f*ck back because I'm full of alcoholic rage. The only way me and her can be in the same room again is if my 7 inch **** is in her throat or if she's getting me some liquor because I can't turn down some whiskey or weed.

Same goes to that spineless, backboneless f*ck of a pedophile, the only way I'm gonna be in the same place as him is with a size 11 across his forehead.

anyways time to go to school, hopefully i don't f*cking get too wet because its raining like a wh*re.
 

Climax

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hmmm..

Well seeing as she IS a $lut, the part where she is giving u a ******* is probably very possible:p

Otherwise, on a more serious note.... so what if you are in the same school as them... just avoid them/ignore them.... They dont deserve your attention... u are better than both of them, so RELAX and stop letting them get to you like this, by u getting so pissed off like you are, this guy has WON, i mean.. look what he is doing to you, he is making you act like a phsyco killer... just relax man... none of them are worth going BACK to jail, if i were u, i would totaly cut them out of my life, forever!

Laterz... ;)
 

Cloud-uk

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I don't ****ing believe I've failed my driving test again:mad:.

Oh yeah, your story sucks too:(.

****ing cars... and hoes. ****.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Climax

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Shame...

Originally posted by Cloud-uk
I don't ****ing believe I've failed my driving test again:mad:.

Oh yeah, your story sucks too:(.

****ing cars... and hoes. ****.
Bad luck dude.. maybe next time;)

Laterz...
 

TyTe`EyEs

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She wasn't worth a sh1t anyway. If you see her at school, just ignore the b1tch.
 

Vincent

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Originally posted by Cloud-uk
I don't ****ing believe I've failed my driving test again:mad:.

Oh yeah, your story sucks too:(.

****ing cars... and hoes. ****.
Just be glad they have strict standard that makes good drivers. Here they give every flipper and idiot a license.
 

Climax

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Vincent said:

Just be glad they have strict standard that makes good drivers. Here they give every flipper and idiot a license.
Where are you from? ;)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Void

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KICK HIS ASSS

ok bad advice my bad.
thats only what i would have done
 
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check_mate_kid_uk

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wow sounds like prision was easier for you then the outside world.
 

Vincent

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Re: KICK HIS ASSS

Originally posted by ireallywantgirls
I don't care what other people say. ****ing kick his ass. Don't take that ****. You've heard the pantera song where its about that guy being 5 minutes alone wit that other guy to kick his ass.
Don't take ****ing **** man.

And May dimebag darrel rest in peace.


Pantera kicks ass.
Shut up.
 

TyTe`EyEs

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Re: KICK HIS ASSS

Originally posted by ireallywantgirls
I don't care what other people say. ****ing kick his ass. Don't take that ****. You've heard the pantera song where its about that guy being 5 minutes alone wit that other guy to kick his ass.
Don't take ****ing **** man.



This is actually a good idea






















if you want to go back to jail.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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