A Paradox? Maintaining eye contact when your eyes aren't the nicest looking?

[TheTraveller]

Yes, I'm now getting back into the game again after a LTR. I'm in the process of finishing the DJ Bible, but there's just one main thing that seems to be in my way of progression. I know it sounds silly, but please, hear me out. Perhaps you have had similar experiences or wise advice. This isn't something that I've really talked about until now so I'm hoping for some decent responses.

I have no problems chatting up the sales lady, the cashier, where they are paid to be in a customer service role. I'm witty, use plenty of C&F and they usually laugh and engage in the conversation. I've had a few gf's in the past, and after a few dates they've mentioned in passing about what I'm going to tell you, but that's really all it has been - a mentioning of it.

This thing is my eyes tend to be slightly red, with one eye being a pink tone at both corners and sides of the eye all of the time (so only the corners and sides of the eye are a pink color, thus leaving some white between it and the cornea (middle part).

This is something that I've tried to remedy but nothing has worked. It looks like something I'm going to have to live with.

I know this all seems to be cosmetic. I know that I need to somehow block this out. When it's worse than normal, people I know may mention my eyes are red. I tend to let these comments not bother me much.

I know I'm a decent, normal looking guy and can definitely dress stylish and look above average at times. "cute", I'm 5'7" short but I don't let THAT bother me. But it seems very hard to get back into the game and do the bootcamp when you have to initiate the eye contact yet realize at the same time: She may notice the one eye that looks different. Will she think I'm high? Pink-eye? Allergies? Who knows!

I have a lot to offer. It's this issue that is keeping me from reaching my potential.

any comments appreciated!

thx,
- T

 

[joekerr31]

you were in an LTR - so obviously you got a chic despite your eyes being red.

if you could get a chic before why would they stop you from getting one now?

its all in your head.

 

[TheTraveller]

literally! Yet still part of me has the thought that my LTR was very kind and forgiving for this and that there won't be one like that for a while.

 

[Colossus]

You may want to see an optometrist or opthamologist about your eye. It is probably a medically amendable problem.

Otherwise, it IS all in your head. It affects your confidence and therefore, your 0utward projection of how you view yourself. So for your own sake you should see an optho. They go to school for a decade to fix people's eyes.

 

[TheTraveller]

Well, to make a long story short. Eye was aggravated from a surgery to it 10 years ago. I'll spare everyone the details, but it's not fully white as a direct result of the surgery, or so I'm convinced because I haven't heard anything other than "you have allergies". I'm going to one of the better optometrists in my area next week to get to the bottom of it. No, I have not tried every possible remedy but the safe stuff I've tried does no good (and the potentially unsafe meds for it clear it up but i'd rather have slight pinkness then no sight!)

I think it's just a matter of exhausting all options and learning to just accept it and live with it. Heck, we don't wear eyeliner/mascara, leave the prettying up to the ladies. I have to learn to live with it and try to deal with it as best I can.

 

[Cableguy]

If it makes you feel any better I was a pothead for many, many years and my eyes were always red. Chicks didn't seem to care.

 

[TheTraveller]

that's true. unless you were the eyeball man, where you were just like this:

http://www.madmartian.com/eyes/images/shop/eyebend.jpg

Then I could see it being a problem.

 

[Cableguy]

I guess my point is that I knew my eyes were red but didn't care because I loved mackin when I had a good buzz going. In your case, it's bothering you because it's a medical condition that you can't control, therefore it's messing with your head. Sounds like you have plenty going for you. Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff.