a new reason for break up

[Squy]

I and my gf is having a long distance relationship. And she just sent me this SMS below, I'll quote a part of it.

"If one day we break up, I hope you understand it's not because I don't love you anymore, but because I love you too much, and miss you too much!"

Am I the first to get this possible bullcrap, or anyone else got something similar before?

 

[PeeGee]

If I ever get suckered into a relationship, I'll have so much fun pondering how to break up with her. Anyway, I suggest you break up with her FIRST (ie: now) -- there are plenty of other women around.

Unless there's no perceivable threat on your part, in which case I suggest you carry on -- nothing more I can do without being pushy.

 

[Squy]

Is it any recorded incidents from people dying or getting physical injures from loving someone too much from a distance?

Maybe phychological but physical? I don't I think I've ever seen or heard such an incident.

Because that's what she claims, that: She might collapse one day, because of thinking too much of me, or miss me too much.

Or maybe its just her natural dramaqueen side. She needs those momments once in a while, I guess.

 

[PeeGee]

Let's assume that she's not being honest for a second. What else could it be? Attractive guys everywhere? She's young? You're not always around?

Long-distance relationships can work, but in my experience it doesn't make a lot of sense -- you or she ends up paying a lot just to see a person for a short period of time. Compare this with meeting a person with similar frequency but less travel time and it's still a better deal to date locals. But as I said, if you perceive no problem there's no reason to freak out (oh and don't make the same mistake I did of freaking out because time together is too little/whatever -- total AFC -_-)

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

on this forum, time and time again i hear people saying "next her" its so easy to tell some one else to do that, but have you not noticed that its hard to do to some one you like, of course you have noticed yet people keep saying this, and another thing, they are telling people to "next her" at any point possible, even when its not neccisey, when its just a litltle argument, i am no expert but i know that every relationship has its ups and downs and you nexted every girls you met on those downs you would never have an LTR because every relationship has the odd argument in, thats life we argue with every one, we dnt get new parents because we have argued with are parents so remember do not next osme one just because of a small argumemtn or problem, these things are common and no problem.

 

[Squy]

errr of course I will not mindlessly next my gf, just because someone replied: "next her", "NEXT" or "N-E-X-T"

I've been here a while you know, and I'm not 16 years old either. Anyway, yeah still sometimes I can't help but feel totally AFC :/ and clueless. So i go here and post

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

this post was not aimed specificaly at you, its at the fact that most peoples only advice seems to be next her

 

[OpenMind]

The reason that most people here say "next" so often is because they can see the big picture from the outside. When in a relationship you may ask for advice on things that you may see as small but in reality they are major red flags.

How can you make rational unemotional decisions that are in your best interests when you are blinded by your emotions? No one says it is easy to "next" your girlfriend, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do in certain situations. Sometimes the hardest choice has the greatest benefits in the long run.

If I would have "nexted" all the women i had relationships with when I was given advice to do so by my friends, I would have saved myself alot of time and bs trying to make things work when the red flags that I couldn't see, and my friends could, were waving right in my face. Emotions cloud rational thinking. PRL's posts are genious because he speaks using logic. He calls them like he sees them.

I think that the sooner a DJ learns to "next" a woman he has feelings for when he knows she is not right for him, the sooner he will find the right woman that he won't have to "next"..... just my 2 cents..

 

[Grey Fox]

You should probably ask if she is cheating on you. I don't like the way she makes this sound. Like she is preparing you for a break up. Just what she is saying smells fishy is all, like lines from a bad Hollywood movie where the "poor woman in waiting" can wait no more and despite "great hardship and guilt attacks" falls for another man because he is close and "there" for her. Thats just my read from what she has been saying.

-Grey Fox

 

[Valdez]

I didn't bother reading the replys...but the news I have may not be something you want to hear.

I said pretty much the same thing to a girl I went out with that became a long distance type of thing. I mean, I cared about her and stuff...just that physical prescence means alot to me. I ended breaking up with her.