A new paradigm

[magickarl]

I'm fairly successful with the ladies. I can get numbers and dates just fine. I get a healthy amount of sexual activity. Still, I always strive to be better at the craft.

So, whenever anybody claims to have any sort of advice for being a more successful DJ, I lend my ear and listen to them. I've heard EVERYTHING. And I mean everything from commonplace knowledge to the flat out ridiculous. I don't like sounding like a smarty pants so whenever someone brings up a valid point, instead of giving them an "I already knew that", I nod my head and acknowledge what they have said.

Until the other night. A friend and I were talking about women in general, and the conversation honed down to what women are pre-disposed to seek in a man. We went over confidence and originality, ambition, ect and came to the topic of independence.


Then, my friend said something that provoked my mind in to an entirely new way of thinking! "Women need a man for guidance."

The wheels in my head began turning, and I thought about all of things that this encompassed. Never had "the game" seemed so condensed. Think about it! All of this independent women business aside, a woman wants a man who is in control. This doesn't mean that he has to control everything around him, while that certainly wouldn't hurt. Neigh, a woman wants a man whom can support her. Not a sugar daddy, but somebody who she can count on to keep her on the path to a happy life.

Keep the incest jokes to yourself, but in short, a woman is looking for somebody who can replace her father (except you get the *****.)

Thoughts?

 

[46and2aheadofme]

This makes sense to me. I listen to a lot of Dr. Drew (guy from Love-line radio show who specializes in sex and relationships) and a major theme in his professional opinion is that women crave men who are exactly like their male care-takers from their childhood. But can you elaborate on how you can use this new paradigm to your advantage specifically? Providing guidance seems to me like it would just be a byproduct of all the things encompassed in being an alpha male. What do you think?

 

[magickarl]

I don't know about women liking men who are EXACTLY like their fathers, and in fact, you don't even have to be a lot like their fathers.

The operative goal is to be a sort of father figure.

The kind of guy that she seeks solutions from when she has an important problem or needs direction.

The sort of fellow that is not afraid to lay the law down. To be a moral compass for her, and show her how to be a (what you consider) lady. One that can set boundaries for her, but also encourage her to chase her ambitions.

One that can make her feel respected and valid, but at the same time keep her attitude in check. Don't let her throw tantrums,

You need to be able to fill the security role. This doesn't mean being rich, but she has to feel that you can take care of her. Keep her fed, a roof over her head, physically safe.

Basically, you need to be one who can push her towards self actualization. Encourage her to be all that she can be, but keep her on an appropriate path.

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Even though most of this is commonplace knowledge, just adapting your thinking can make a massive impact in your behavior around women:

Put women into the place of a child.

All of these qualities women crave - Confidence, security, maturity, ect are much easier to convey if you consider yourself to be an authority figure over your listener.

The same idea of how a policeman would talk differently to civilians than would a regular person, or how a teacher would address their class.


Don't take it to an extreme or anything - this doesn't mean you talk down to them or be condescending. Instead, you want to put yourself into the mind state where you are a guiding light in the womans life.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

I don't know about women liking men who are EXACTLY like their fathers, and in fact, you don't even have to be a lot like their fathers.


I used "exactly" a little carelessly as you pointed out. What I meant is that they are attracted to behavior demonstrated by the male figures they were exposed to as little girls.

This explains the type of women who only get involved with men prone to be abusive (if their father was abusive of them or their mother) or women who go for rich guys (they were daddy's little princess and got spoiled constantly).

I see your point, although I don't know how this would help attract women per se.

I guess this is more applicable to once you are in a relationship. By maintaining confidence and demonstrating healthy father-figure behavior may keep them sticking around a little longer.

nice post.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

People in general are just into things or people that can give them guidance and a direction in life. A lot of young people (including young women) are very lost and haven't figured things out yet. When someone comes along that has things figured out, they are naturally drawn to that person.