A Mature Man is NOT Afraid of Monogamy - He Seeks It on his Own Terms

[Lexington]

I was reading the news this morning and happened to come across this article, which is pertinent to our discussion:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html?iref=allsearch

This quote tells of how a woman will emit pheromones to encourage her man to stick around when she's been impregnated. This is partially done by lowering his testosterone levels, thus decreasing his tendency to "cat around". So there is a biological mechanism to promote monogamy:

You should be very careful about pop-sci articles like this. For starters, we haven't even identified a single human pheromone. There is one study that has demonstrated that androstenedione levels in human sweat increase the levels of cortisol in females, but it's not clear whether or not this has any effect on their behavior.

There are all kinds of theories out there that hypothesize the existence of pheromones in humans, but not even one has been conclusively demonstrated. Not even one peer reviewed study has been produced.

There's nothing wrong with being monogamous. But it is by no means the only way to be. You could say that it is natural to be monogamous, but it would be equally true to say that it is natural to be polygamous.

 

[DanelMadr]

It has been argued that the pill is what messed up the balance between the sexes in the first place. .

And I agree completely. The pill changed a lot of things. But it not it's fault....we just stopped being responsible.

I mean you can't blame the pill. It is us who make the decisions. And it is sad that most of the population got corrupted and went mad....fakking without thinking.

There is a price for everything.
More freedom = more crime.
More sexual freedom = more fornicating.

 

[zekko]

There's nothing wrong with being monogamous. But it is by no means the only way to be. You could say that it is natural to be monogamous, but it would be equally true to say that it is natural to be polygamous.

I agree with that.
Humans have all sorts of conflicting impulses.
They have to decide which way they want to go.

 

[Lexington]

I don't think all guys suffer from oneitis. How many of those d-bag jocks we all knew back in high school/college suffer from oneitis? We all know the badboy a**hole too....the one we'd wonder about back when were AFCs. I don't think he suffers from oneitis.

 

[zekko]

Now, are those 2 things natural and are "supposed" to be experienced by a man?

I would say that since "love" is an almost universally experienced emotion, I would have to argue that yes, of course it must be very natural.

If the sufferer start to spin plates the obssession is broken and the feeling of vulnerability is replaced by confidence.

Spinning plates may help break obsession. But what happens when you find a girl that you clearly like more than the others? If she is not a good fit for your life, if she does not meet your standards, if she does not return your interest, then the oneitis is bad and must be broken. But if she is a good fit?