"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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A little story that must be told.......

Casino

Senior Don Juan
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Ok..now that I feel I have finally reached DJ status I feel like I must tell the aspiring DJ's my rock bottom story.

January 28 2002.

I wake up with a coke hangover. Apparently i'd been doing lines of blow with wreckless adbandon the night before. Phone rings and i'm evicted from my apartment. Walk out to my car and every thing is gone. Stereo, Amps, money, and some CD's. To top that off Im in the worst shape of my life. I basically looked like Stallone off of Copland.

To top things off the girl I was seeing was lying about her age and was only 16. Now her mom is calling my cell phone telling me that she is pursuing statutory rape charges.

Not only that but nothing else in my life was working. I was collecting unemployment and severely addicted to weed, hardcore rap music, and an occasional flirtation with nose candy.

On that day I took all that negative emotion and energy and single handily turned it around.

Now I can't even begin to name all the things i've accomplished since that day but i'll start.

Joined the Army
got my degree
nailed 24 HB7 plus
obtatained private pilots license
released rap mixtape
written my manifesto
kicked the drug habits

Whats next for Casino.

The next logical step would be running for public office in my hometown.

wish me luck
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AverageFC

Master Don Juan
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A) What's wrong with hardcore rap music?

B) Can I hear your mixtape online?(are you black?)
 

Layla

Senior Don Juan
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Apr 20, 2004
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what happened with the 16 year old girl??
 

Finlay

Don Juan
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Feb 14, 2005
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Well done dude, like to know where you found the confidence or what ever was needed to accomplish what you did.
 
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