"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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A little perspective needed

flowtheory

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I shoulda also mention when I made the plans earlier in the week, I called her first to establish a plan. I called at 11am. She didn’t answer. At 3;45 she messsged back saying her phone was on silent.

Now again. I’m interested only in friends now that I had put myself out there and got shut down. But her actions are not really screaming friendship. They are telling of something else. But I don’t know what she’s doing and what game she’s really playing. It’s confusing.

The facts since the friendzoning:
- I suggested the hike on Monday at 2pm, she waited until Tuesday at 11:30am to say “great idea!! *blush face* ”

- she didn’t answer my call on Wednesday morning; she texted back 5 hours later rather than calling back.

- throughout a couple texts exchanged making small talk she did use a wink “so far so good ;) and yours?”

- bails today at 3:45 but suggests we hangout tomorrow (not mentioning other friends, but I’m assuming there will be)

This is games! No? That doesn’t seem like friendship.
I’ve just never seen this behaviour after friendzoning..
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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R.U.G.

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Interesting. So she was interested, I missed the opportunity, then I revealed my feelings, it was too late, now she’s only wanting to hangout with me when her friends are there too to create buffers and remove any further depth building between her and I.

I understand, but at the same time, when she had feelings (seemingly based on her actions), why wouldn’t she want to enjoy what we had experienced together before? Because even back then we hadn’t kissed or done anything which would be considered romantic
In general, women do not know what they want. One minute they want you, the next they don't. She may be back soon enough. Keep radio silence.
 

Spaz

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In general, women do not know what they want. One minute they want you, the next they don't. She may be back soon enough. Keep radio silence.
They know exactly what they want, it's only that their goals changes from time to time.

In OP's case, the problem is that she knows she has him by his balls and is just toying with her prey, with him between her claws, right now she's bored with him, she claws around to see a reaction, is it typical beta reaction or something new that she has not experienced ?

She's thinking will this mice make me chase it, a challenge or he'll simply lay limp between my claws, a typical bore?
 

Igetit!

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Interesting. So she was interested, I missed the opportunity, then I revealed my feelings, it was too late, now she’s only wanting to hangout with me when her friends are there too to create buffers and remove any further depth building between her and I.
What do you mean by "depth building"??? dude look.....

She DOESN'T TRUST you. You remember what her roommate told her about you? She asked you about what the roommate said,you DENIED IT.......then a day or two later went back and told her that you indeed did have feelings for her after all,making what her roommate said TRUE.

You talk about "depth building"....then OUT OF NOWHERE......you come out revealing sexual feelings towards her.....AFTER FLAT OUT TELLING HER THAT YOU DID NOT EXPECT SEX OUT OF HER.....like her roommate said.

So can you kinda see why she might have trust issues with you?

Can you see why she might be a little reluctant to get one-on-one alone with you again?

You notice how before you told her you had feelings for her,she had NO PROBLEMS...NO ISSUES being one on one alone with you,and now,how that seems to have changed? Would you like to take a guess as to why?

I'm sorry,but you do realize that....you brought all this upon yourself.

You did.


I understand, but at the same time, when she had feelings (seemingly based on her actions), why wouldn’t she want to enjoy what we had experienced together before?
What are you talking about??? What did you two experience before? Before what.....you revealing your feelings to her?

Dude.....she CAN'T go back to that. You don't understand.....there's a good chance that,everything you two "experienced" before you told her your feelings about her.....she probably feels like all that was a SHAM,just your way of trying to get her into bed.

REMEMBER WHAT HER ROOMMATE SAID TO HER ABOUT YOU? You denied it.......then turned around and made IT TRUE. She believed you when you denied it. Can ya see why she may have an issue being alone with you?


You're wanting her to go back to how she was when back when she still had interest,but that's over with.
 

flowtheory

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What do you mean by "depth building"??? dude look.....

She DOESN'T TRUST you. You remember what her roommate told her about you? She asked you about what the roommate said,you DENIED IT.......then a day or two later went back and told her that you indeed did have feelings for her after all,making what her roommate said TRUE.

You talk about "depth building"....then OUT OF NOWHERE......you come out revealing sexual feelings towards her.....AFTER FLAT OUT TELLING HER THAT YOU DID NOT EXPECT SEX OUT OF HER.....like her roommate said.

So can you kinda see why she might have trust issues with you?

Can you see why she might be a little reluctant to get one-on-one alone with you again?

You notice how before you told her you had feelings for her,she had NO PROBLEMS...NO ISSUES being one on one alone with you,and now,how that seems to have changed? Would you like to take a guess as to why?

I'm sorry,but you do realize that....you brought all this upon yourself.

You did.




What are you talking about??? What did you two experience before? Before what.....you revealing your feelings to her?

Dude.....she CAN'T go back to that. You don't understand.....there's a good chance that,everything you two "experienced" before you told her your feelings about her.....she probably feels like all that was a SHAM,just your way of trying to get her into bed.

REMEMBER WHAT HER ROOMMATE SAID TO HER ABOUT YOU? You denied it.......then turned around and made IT TRUE. She believed you when you denied it. Can ya see why she may have an issue being alone with you?


You're wanting her to go back to how she was when back when she still had interest,but that's over with.
I do agree.

However the whole saturday I didn’t message her after I said ‘Yea maybe! I’ll have to see where I’m at. We can touch base tomorrow“ at 6:27pm on Friday

then late at night (10:30 sat) she had messaged me and asked “Sooooo what have you done? I’ve met with a friend of a close friend. She’s lovely and also her boyfriend! Hope you had a good Saturday”

I havent responded yet because it’s 6:20am. She’s up to something. I don’t know. I find it interesting. I’m looking at this more so as a study of a woman’s behaviour, because as much as she said it just friends.. this isnt.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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