A little experiment ? Stopping friend zone before it happens.

[mtbrob]

Eh .... I thought about it .. THis isn't worth my time.. I am moving on...However you can read if you like. I'll leave it up

So some back ground..

I started a new job back in July .. Recently in the last 3 weeks or so met one of my co-workers who is really hot.. she is known through out the office as the hot chick.. I have about 8 years on her and she is really attracted to me etc.. I look good, I work out, I am confident and also she turned me into a chump..

We hit it off really well and have spent time together mostly in work and at a cross fit class after work...She would call and text me ALL the time.. While at work she would inner office message me via our chat thing.. I would let her initiate the conversation most of the time. I would play my part but mostly. she would tell me she loves talking to me, Walk by touch me subtlety .. etc etc etc.. AKA her interest level was high... On top of her being a really awesome chick she likes a lot of the same stuff I do .. We get along splendidly I have told her I liked her and well I kinda chump'd over her some.. The catch

She has a boy friend. I don't know the details nor do I care but apparently they aren't working out to well.



Fast forward after this weekend of her and I talking like we normally with her doing A LOT of the initiating...Hell she went so far to tell me on Friday she is falling for me.. Now comes MONDAY...I noticed on Monday she was kinda being well indifferent.. Less chatty kinda turned off towards me.. i could tell the difference.. I even went so far to ask her whats up ( mistake 1 ) she of course said nothing is wrong ( BS.. and Red flag ) Didn't text me or call me Monday night

Today she invited me to lunch with some other co-workers nothing new we really didn't get to spend any 1 on 1 talking obviously and the eye contact was lacking.. So yeah same sh!t today .. No calls after work etc etc.. Its obvious the interest level is dropping I do not know why .. and personally I thinking the DJ in me doesn't care.. But I am intrigued because I do like her.

I totally understand I am spinning my wheels here.. But I am gonna do the walk away and limit contact with her... It will be impossible to avoid her entirely, as yeah We work in the same office and do a fitness class together which I enjoy and I am not gonna stop ..

So I propose I emotionally walk away from her and I would like to see what happens.. I am moving on in a sense but want to see what will happens if I emotionally push her away and cast her aside.. Why ? Well I would like to raise my interest level again, and two I have never been in a situation I haven't been able to close on in a long time.. so I wanna see what happens..


YOUR ADVICE IS WELCOMED... I think Also I am gonna update this thread starting tomorrow with how things go and keep it running and see what Happens..


As of right now.. I think she is playing a game with me, our communication has been nothing but inter-office chat and very linear with out any meat behind it.. She has not text'd or called me the past two nights with which is totally out of her norm with me.

Starting tomorrow I will go in like i normally do but wont make an effort to see her or stop by and say hello.... I will let you know what happens.. I hope this will be a learning experience for me and those who are afraid they are being friend zoned.

 

[Warrior74]

Never is a woman so unhappy with her man as when she's garnering attention from another man. How often have you ever heard a woman talk about how happy she is with a man? In what context? Sympathy works and they know it. Best way to make an orbiter is to be a wounded bird.

Leave this woman alone, go get another one. You obviously can't be friends with her as your desire will be in the way. Leave it out. That old "I just wannna see what happens, I'm not emotionally invested" line is as old as this place is. It means "maybe there is still hope to bang this broad". You care bro. If you didn't you'd just leave it out. You will fvck this up, smarten up.

 

[NSUballer]

Ah the lure of a beautiful woman.. Ask yourself one question , do you really want a woman who would talk to another guy behind her bf back ?

 

[scrouds]

She gave you an open invitation to make a move on her for the last 3 weeks.

What did you do? NOTHING.

She's moved on to other targets.

 

[mtbrob]

Never is a woman so unhappy with her man as when she's garnering attention from another man. How often have you ever heard a woman talk about how happy she is with a man? In what context? Sympathy works and they know it. Best way to make an orbiter is to be a wounded bird.

Leave this woman alone, go get another one. You obviously can't be friends with her as your desire will be in the way. Leave it out. That old "I just wannna see what happens, I'm not emotionally invested" line is as old as this place is. It means "maybe there is still hope to bang this broad". You care bro. If you didn't you'd just leave it out. You will fvck this up, smarten up.

Warrior, you are probably right I will crash and burn .. but I am willing to taste the lick of defeat. I can't be her friend I know this.. However I wanna jump in and see what happens, do I want a relationship? NO ..

 

[mtbrob]

Ah the lure of a beautiful woman.. Ask yourself one question , do you really want a woman who would talk to another guy behind her bf back ?

NSU, I don't care, she isn't girl friend material for me.

 

[mtbrob]

She gave you an open invitation to make a move on her for the last 3 weeks.

What did you do? NOTHING.

She's moved on to other targets.

You're right.. I chump'd all up on her... That's so part of me feels like I need to redeem my self and so here I am ..

Over all whats probably gonna happen is absolutely nothing.. I may be wasting my time not Next'ing her but as I said previously I more or less what to see what happens.

I don't want a relationship with her... That is clear from the get go .. She already is in one, she is playing games, and yeah I usually don't do relationships... So the most I could hope for ? Fuvk buddies at best. I'll let you know what happens I am off to work.

 

[Alvafe]

feh looks like I saw this before....

I agree with warrior, you don't want even lose time with her, its a big AW, she cut you out because something else is happening on her life, don't matter, better you do is ignore her, do not talk with her anymore, if she asks anything just answers and move on, if possible don't have lunch with her anymore, cut all time on her and go out find another girl, she will only be a waste of time.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear MTBrob,
You again!

 

[mtbrob]

Sorry gentlemen they moved my thread because my age wasn't posted. I am 31 by the way ..

 

[mtbrob]

Eh .... I thought about it .. THis isn't worth my time.. I am moving on...

 

[Alvafe]

now put you age on your profile, it prevent problems with mods

 

[Iceberg]

I love when people disguise their oneitis as an experiment. It's like, "No no...I'm not obsessed with her. It's just an experiment. Purely unemotional."

Right.

Just move on. Rarely does any good come out of gaming a girl for months and months and NEVER making a move. You're not the only guy this girl is crushing on, and I'd wager that one of the other guys made a move on her.

Eh .... I thought about it .. THis isn't worth my time.. I am moving on...

Smart move.

 

[mtbrob]

Yeah I don' doubt that at all.. Now if she would get the message..

Asked me to lunch today I politely declined with a reason of work is busy.. texting me.. ( not responded) sent me three IM's today kept my answers to one word..

 

[Igetit!]

Dude....mind if I ask you a question about this situation you're in......What is the point of all this? What is it you want from this chick?


You said you're trying to stop the friendzone before it happens. Personally I think you're WELL on your way to being friendzoned,if not already there,but let's say you do stop it. Ok...so what do you want the relation between you and her to be? You've already said twice you don't want a relationship.



So what do you want then,just sex? Because either way,relationship or f-buddy...BOTH OF THEM require YOU SHOWING sexual interest to her.


At some point,all this "texting/ignoring her text....speaking to her/not speaking to her....accepting her lunch invites/not accepting them....contact/no contact"....at SOME POINT,you're going to have to drop all that cat and mouse sh1t and show interest.



There's no "neutral zone" with a woman that you keep hanging around with,it's sex or friendzone....PERIOD. And given what you said here.....

We hit it off really well and have spent time together mostly in work and at a cross fit class after work...She would call and text me ALL the time.. While at work she would inner office message me via our chat thing.. I would let her initiate the conversation most of the time. I would play my part but mostly. she would tell me she loves talking to me

Seems like you're either already there,or well on your way.

Fast forward after this weekend of her and I talking like we normally with her doing A LOT of the initiating...Hell she went so far to tell me on Friday she is falling for me.. Now comes MONDAY...I noticed on Monday she was kinda being well indifferent.. Less chatty kinda turned off towards me.. i could tell the difference.. I even went so far to ask her whats up ( mistake 1 ) she of course said nothing is wrong ( BS.. and Red flag ) Didn't text me or call me Monday night

Today she invited me to lunch with some other co-workers nothing new we really didn't get to spend any 1 on 1 talking obviously and the eye contact was lacking.. So yeah same sh!t today .. No calls after work etc etc.. Its obvious the interest level is dropping I do not know why ..

My guess to why her IL would be dropping is cause she's TIRED. You said she did basically ALL of the initiating of talks and texts. So she's doing ALL THAT....and getting NOTHING in return. You don't initiate anything and HAVEN'T ASKED HER OUT.


You may say,"Well I haven't asked her out cause she has a boyfriend." Ok.....which brings me back to my original question.......What is all this for? What's the purpose of ALL THIS?


There's NO neutral zone. You don't want the friendzone,which means you HAVE TO move towards being sexual,but so far,ALL OF HER initiating and IOIs have failed to get you to do so.

So what's the point of her to continue initiating? For your ego?

So I propose I emotionally walk away from her and I would like to see what happens.. I am moving on in a sense but want to see what will happens if I emotionally push her away and cast her aside.. Why ? Well I would like to raise my interest level again, and two I have never been in a situation I haven't been able to close on in a long time.. so I wanna see what happens.

Seems like you're just bored to me. You like the chick,but won't make a move. Her interest level isn't just gonna stay sky high FOREVER wanting on you to do something.

As of right now.. I think she is playing a game with me, our communication has been nothing but inter-office chat and very linear with out any meat behind it.. She has not text'd or called me the past two nights with which is totally out of her norm with me.

Probably cause she wised up. Either decided to make things better with her boyfriend,or show interest in someone else who'd at least show a little interest back.

I hope this will be a learning experience for me and those who are afraid they are being friend zoned.

The BEST THING someone could do to avoid the friendzone is to do the 100% complete OPPOSITE of what you're doing here...and I'm SERIOUS.


The friendzone is caused by "FAMILIARITY WITHOUT SEXUALITY". In other words,constantly hanging around a chick...laughing,talking,joking,and playing around day after day,week after week.......WITHOUT showing sexual interest,or that is,without ASKING HER OUT.


Flirting and teasing ISN'T ENOUGH...you HAVE TO ask her out,which after 3 weeks,you've yet to do.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

You may say,"Well I haven't asked her out cause she has a boyfriend." Ok.....which brings me back to my original question.......What is all this for? What's the purpose of ALL THIS?

Hasn't stopped me before. I don't care if she has a boyfriend or not. I don't see a sign over her head indicating that she is someone's property. I ask her out and if she makes up excuses or flakes, I delete/ignore her (typically I give 2-3 chances). I will never be an "orbiter". I put them on the spot. They don't like it? Too bad.

I only draw the line at married/engaged.