This may seem simple to many, but for me, it was nothing short of a "sudden enlightenment" for me.
I've been in a relationship for just over a year, and its great in every single way, except that I've never felt truly "comfortable"- there was always this...tension in my heart, where I wouldn't open up completely. I just couldn't let go and relax.
Now, I'm in Highschool, and this is my final year. After June, me and my GF would go our seperate ways into university. The other day, I realised why I've always had this tension within me- I was way too concerned with the seperation in June. I felt that I needed to "toil my way" through all this, just so we can reach the "finish line" in June. In other words, I was scared of a breakup in any other way, apart from the Inevitable one in June. This is stupid. :nono:
A relationship isn't about a finish line- I don't get a Prize for reaching June without breaking up. I won't suddenly feel GREAT in June (in fact, I'll probably feel sh*t). Now, this is a special case for me, cuz I'm in HS, but I think it applies to many other people as well.
Many people are more concerned about LOSING their money than enjoying it. Similarly, more people are more concerned about breaking up, than enjoying the relationship they have now. In the grand scheme of things, theres MORE of a chance of you two breaking up than staying together forever! The only "finish line" in life is death- and theres no after-party for something like that! :rockon:
So in the end, people like the (old) me never get to enjoy themselves. IF the relationship lasts until "death do you part" you are still anxious and living in fear throughout the entire relationship, and not enjoying it fully. And if the relationship doesn't work out (which happens more often than it really should), then HA!
a) You never enjoyed it in the first place
b) Your fear probably made it ito a self-fulfilling prophecy (when you're scared of a breakup, you act like a wuss, are desperate, etc.)
c) You'll probably suffer more during the actual breakup.
So now, I've learnt my lesson. Just enjoy myself Now! Screw the future! If we breakup before June, then fine! In reality, its not much different anyways- we gotta say goodbye eventually!
"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first." -Goenka
I've been in a relationship for just over a year, and its great in every single way, except that I've never felt truly "comfortable"- there was always this...tension in my heart, where I wouldn't open up completely. I just couldn't let go and relax.
Now, I'm in Highschool, and this is my final year. After June, me and my GF would go our seperate ways into university. The other day, I realised why I've always had this tension within me- I was way too concerned with the seperation in June. I felt that I needed to "toil my way" through all this, just so we can reach the "finish line" in June. In other words, I was scared of a breakup in any other way, apart from the Inevitable one in June. This is stupid. :nono:
A relationship isn't about a finish line- I don't get a Prize for reaching June without breaking up. I won't suddenly feel GREAT in June (in fact, I'll probably feel sh*t). Now, this is a special case for me, cuz I'm in HS, but I think it applies to many other people as well.
Many people are more concerned about LOSING their money than enjoying it. Similarly, more people are more concerned about breaking up, than enjoying the relationship they have now. In the grand scheme of things, theres MORE of a chance of you two breaking up than staying together forever! The only "finish line" in life is death- and theres no after-party for something like that! :rockon:
So in the end, people like the (old) me never get to enjoy themselves. IF the relationship lasts until "death do you part" you are still anxious and living in fear throughout the entire relationship, and not enjoying it fully. And if the relationship doesn't work out (which happens more often than it really should), then HA!
a) You never enjoyed it in the first place
b) Your fear probably made it ito a self-fulfilling prophecy (when you're scared of a breakup, you act like a wuss, are desperate, etc.)
c) You'll probably suffer more during the actual breakup.
So now, I've learnt my lesson. Just enjoy myself Now! Screw the future! If we breakup before June, then fine! In reality, its not much different anyways- we gotta say goodbye eventually!
"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first." -Goenka
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