A girl in need of some advice..

[toska]

Alright, I've accidentally come across this forum and I think you guys can help me. I have a really awkward dilemma on my hands here.

So I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now and everything is good so far except for some little things. I noticed that he does some things that really annoy me and I'm not sure how to tell him. For example, he always eats with his mouth open. ALWAYS. And he really enjoys potato chips. And I can't just go do something in another room while he's eating his chips because he usually eats them when are watching a movie. I can't just get up and leave. All I can do is bear through it. I'm starting to hate watching movies with him, even though we both love them. Another thing he does is.. he farts in front of me. A lot. The first time it happened one morning after he spent the night over, we were just having coffee in my kitchen and he farted.. he looked really embarrassed, he said he couldn't hold it in anymore and apologized, and I told him it's ok, it happens to everyone, right? But now I think he got the impression that he can do it whenever he wants around me and it won't bother me. He doesn't even try to help it, sometimes he even struggles to squeeze one out. It's kinda gross and yeah, I just want him to stop. Also burping... holy s***, this man can burp... but that has become very annoying since he does it like 10 times in an hour. Another thing that he does is pick his nose around me... a couple of times he even ate his boogers while having a conversation with me.. he looked so nonchalant, like what he was doing was completely normal. There are a lot of other things that he does but I don't want to bore you any longer.

I don't want him to seem like this rude cave man. He's generally a very sweet guy and we always have a really good time together... except for these little moments. I've never been in a situation like this before and I'm not sure how to tell him what's bothering me without hurting his feelings. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[PokerStar]

first of all stop, dating 13 year old boys. jk

maybe you two can sign up for manners class together. if he asks why, you say you are looking to help improve yourself and you want him there to be your support.

if he is a really good dude. like you said. he will attend and maybe just maybe he might be able to pick up a few things.

 

[Tyson420]

Make him a sandwich and rub his tummy. You don't deserve to breathe the air that he farted in.

 

[JPlaya]

Just tell him to be quiter with chips and try to be more mannerly. But dont turn in to a b!tch because nobody likes a b!tch.

 

[toska]

I don't want to be a ***** to him, I really like him in general. Like I said, we always have a good time together.

and he's 23 but he hasn't really been dating, all he's had is one night stands and f*** buddies, I'm the first girl he's actually dating. I don't expect him to be a mind reader and figure out everything that bothers me, but come on... most of those things are common sense.

 

[amoka]

Alright, I've accidentally come across this forum and I think you guys can help me. I have a really awkward dilemma on my hands here.

So I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now and everything is good so far except for some little things. I noticed that he does some things that really annoy me and I'm not sure how to tell him. For example, he always eats with his mouth open. ALWAYS. And he really enjoys potato chips. And I can't just go do something in another room while he's eating his chips because he usually eats them when are watching a movie. I can't just get up and leave. All I can do is bear through it. I'm starting to hate watching movies with him, even though we both love them. Another thing he does is.. he farts in front of me. A lot. The first time it happened one morning after he spent the night over, we were just having coffee in my kitchen and he farted.. he looked really embarrassed, he said he couldn't hold it in anymore and apologized, and I told him it's ok, it happens to everyone, right? But now I think he got the impression that he can do it whenever he wants around me and it won't bother me. He doesn't even try to help it, sometimes he even struggles to squeeze one out. It's kinda gross and yeah, I just want him to stop. Also burping... holy s***, this man can burp... but that has become very annoying since he does it like 10 times in an hour. Another thing that he does is pick his nose around me... a couple of times he even ate his boogers while having a conversation with me.. he looked so nonchalant, like what he was doing was completely normal. There are a lot of other things that he does but I don't want to bore you any longer.

I don't want him to seem like this rude cave man. He's generally a very sweet guy and we always have a really good time together... except for these little moments. I've never been in a situation like this before and I'm not sure how to tell him what's bothering me without hurting his feelings. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sounds to me like a catch. keep him.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Listen Baby Stop Embarassing Me On My Forum. It's Bad Enough You Don't Like My Potato Chips Farts Burping And Boogers. Will You Please Just Leave Me Alone And Give Me Time With The Guys?!?!?! K Thx Lolz

 

[korwinn]

I was with a girl for 6 years and never farted in front on her. Weird, but guess my mother raised me with better manners.

Sounds to me the guy has just became comfortable around you. It happens, but you are dating the guy so just call him out on it sometime. I mean don't nag about it or anything just be like "it's kind of gross." The chips and other things maybe you're just looking for more things that annoy you?

**** I broke up with a girl once cause she would take ham, pickles, and cream cheese and wrap it up into some "meat sandwich" (I don't need any **** jokes boys, ha). Yea it definitely wasn't serious but bugged me and was the last straw.

Overall you got two choices: change the guy or just move on

 

[korwinn]

If he likes you he'll change or he'll get annoyed and end it. To be honest, a relationship is a give and a take and while many of the guys here profess that men need to lead the women, there are some instances where it's just antisocial and disgusting to fart and chew with ones mouth open.

:nono:

 

[crazyboy]

That dude some replusive and lacking in manners. But you are best off just telling hey you need have some manners. at least say excuse me. But sound like this has gas issue and may need his stomach check out if he truly doing as much as you say he is. There little doubt its that bad cuz woman exaggerate alot things. But just be like, hey can you show a little bit more manners because all this burping, farting, and eating with your mouth open aint cool.

 

[Tortendieb]

Well he really did everything right if you love him so much that you endure hot chilli farts without complaining...

 

[5string]

I think you should marry him.

 

[irocknike23]

just tell him that **** bothers you


tell her how would he like it if you farted and cracked potato chips with your mouth open in front of him

 

[loveshogun]

Alright, I've accidentally come across this forum and I think you guys can help me. I have a really awkward dilemma on my hands here.

So I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now and everything is good so far except for some little things. I noticed that he does some things that really annoy me and I'm not sure how to tell him. For example, he always eats with his mouth open. ALWAYS. And he really enjoys potato chips. And I can't just go do something in another room while he's eating his chips because he usually eats them when are watching a movie. I can't just get up and leave. All I can do is bear through it. I'm starting to hate watching movies with him, even though we both love them. Another thing he does is.. he farts in front of me. A lot. The first time it happened one morning after he spent the night over, we were just having coffee in my kitchen and he farted.. he looked really embarrassed, he said he couldn't hold it in anymore and apologized, and I told him it's ok, it happens to everyone, right? But now I think he got the impression that he can do it whenever he wants around me and it won't bother me. He doesn't even try to help it, sometimes he even struggles to squeeze one out. It's kinda gross and yeah, I just want him to stop. Also burping... holy s***, this man can burp... but that has become very annoying since he does it like 10 times in an hour. Another thing that he does is pick his nose around me... a couple of times he even ate his boogers while having a conversation with me.. he looked so nonchalant, like what he was doing was completely normal. There are a lot of other things that he does but I don't want to bore you any longer.

I don't want him to seem like this rude cave man. He's generally a very sweet guy and we always have a really good time together... except for these little moments. I've never been in a situation like this before and I'm not sure how to tell him what's bothering me without hurting his feelings. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I smell a troll, but I'll give benefit of the doubt because the post exhibited clear thought and good grammar.

If you are, in fact, a girl, you seem to be the female version of the "nice guy." Not quite AFC, but definitely not assertive enough to take action based on what you want. In fact, like most "nice guys," I'd venture a guess that you don't know what you want.

Here's what you need to do: take all these things you don't like about him. Then, take all the things you DO like about him. If you have a list of 10 things on each side, figure out which are the 3 most important on each side.

Look at the good side - are those 3 things, by themselves, enough to make you want to stay with him? No? Dump him.

But let's say, "yes," those 3 things are good enough. Now look at the 3 worst bad things. Are those bad things, in themselves, bad enough to make you want to dump him? Yes? Dump him.

But, let's say the 3 good things are good enough, and the 3 worst bad things aren't so bad. Keep him.

This is called "making decisions." If you know yourself well enough, you can do it almost instantly without much external input! Amazing!

All the advice comes from somewhere, right? It's called trial and error. Make some decisions. And when you're only 2 months in, try not to be so detail oriented. Look at the big picture - do you see yourself with this person who was annoying enough to make you ask strangers for advice?

 

[toska]

He tells me everyday how cool I am.. I think I've just become one of the guys. I know I need to tell him what bothers me, but I was asking for advice on how to do it without hurting his feelings. And without seeming like a crazy *****.
He really does all those things, I'm not imagining or exaggerating anything. Just telling him "ew, stop" or "ew, that's gross" is sure going to hurt his feelings.
I've been in relationships before, both LT and ST, and never had this sort of issue before.

So how would like a girl to tell you when something bothers her about you?

 

[toska]

I smell a troll, but I'll give benefit of the doubt because the post exhibited clear thought and good grammar.

If you are, in fact, a girl, you seem to be the female version of the "nice guy." Not quite AFC, but definitely not assertive enough to take action based on what you want. In fact, like most "nice guys," I'd venture a guess that you don't know what you want.

Here's what you need to do: take all these things you don't like about him. Then, take all the things you DO like about him. If you have a list of 10 things on each side, figure out which are the 3 most important on each side.

Look at the good side - are those 3 things, by themselves, enough to make you want to stay with him? No? Dump him.

But let's say, "yes," those 3 things are good enough. Now look at the 3 worst bad things. Are those bad things, in themselves, bad enough to make you want to dump him? Yes? Dump him.

But, let's say the 3 good things are good enough, and the 3 worst bad things aren't so bad. Keep him.

This is called "making decisions." If you know yourself well enough, you can do it almost instantly without much external input! Amazing!

All the advice comes from somewhere, right? It's called trial and error. Make some decisions. And when you're only 2 months in, try not to be so detail oriented. Look at the big picture - do you see yourself with this person who was annoying enough to make you ask strangers for advice?

I've already thought about that, and I've decided to keep dating him. Despite those few things that annoy me about him, I really like him. but.. yeah.. I just want him to treat me like a date and not like a guy sometimes.

 

[loveshogun]

So how would like a girl to tell you when something bothers her about you?

"That bothers me." Or something along those lines. Simple is better. Just because it's not the advice you want to hear doesn't make it not true.

Of course, it better be something important. If driving 10 mph over the speed limit is something that "bothers" a girl I'm dating on a regular basis, among other inane things, I won't be sticking around - because it "bothers" me that she has so little going on in her life that the little things take up the focus of our time together.

The kicker is that YOU'RE the only person who can decide what is important to you, because you are you, and you know yourself better than we do. Hopefully. Yes, you need to use your judgment. We're not going to give you an exact line to use because there is none. You have to think with your brain, not your feelings.

And so concerned about "hurting his feelings?" He's a man. I'm not saying to nag him. I'm just saying to not treat him like a 2 year old. I'm pretty sure he can handle being told that his farts smell like sh*t. We've known that for centuries. It's just funny to us.

Finally, you're not worried about HIS feelings. You're worried about YOUR feelings. About how YOU'D look if you said these things straight up. "Like a b*tch," or "crazy." You can't deal with that, so you just let your complaints fester as you become more resentful.

So, as long as we're paying attention to what we really want in life (which we should), we can clearly communicate with others on a mature level, without confusing the nature of our mutually exclusive desires.

 

[vatoloco]

He really does all those things, I'm not imagining or exaggerating anything. Just telling him "ew, stop" or "ew, that's gross" is sure going to hurt his feelings.

If his feelings are hurt by those two lines, his self-esteem is so low that you could tell him "It's a cloudy day today..." and he'd probably run upstairs and try to cut himself like a good emo kid.

So how would like a girl to tell you when something bothers her about you?

I'd like for her to tell me in a polite, calm, constructive way, like I do. I've actually told my current GF about a little mistakes she's made. You know what she said to me? "Thank you for telling me. I promise you it will never happen again!"

And it hasn't.

 

[Sparky]

Wait until he follows through. That'll REALLY annoy you.

 

[BadNews]

Well if it bothers you THAT much you have three options.

Option 1: Say nothing and prepare to date a slob for the forseeable future.
Option 2: Let him know it bothers you, and hope he can effectively work on it.
Option 3: Dump his ass.

Honestly, the guy kinda sounds like a slob...but that isn't uncommon. Lucky for me my mother never let me get away with that kinda behavior when I was young, but others may not have had that influence growing up.

I would suggest saying something to the effect of "hey, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but it really bothers me that you have no manners when you're around me. I find chewing with your mouth open, farting, burping, and picking your nose kinda gross."

Good luck