A girl came between us. What now?

[thederekeffect1]

A guy who used to be my best friend emailed me today (He couldn't call me or anything because I'm currently living in a hotel and no one really knows how to contact me):

".....Where to start? It's been so long, I remember the 'good' old days, when nothing but BS'ing and drawing. That was our life, simple and sweet... it's sad to say but I almost wish it would've ended at that before any of this had to happen to either of us..... We both swore to each other that a girl would never come between us and now look at us. If you'd give an old friend a chance at redemption I'd welcome it with open arms, if you still know my number feel free to use it..... I've missed you my friend, please call me if you're honestly going to move so I can say goodbye.....

You have my prayers,
~J 2 d@ !zO3"

What happened? As he already stated in his email, a girl came between us.

Two summers ago, while he was in the Army, I met a girl. I had no idea that at the time it was his girlfriend. He never had the chance to introduce us before he left. She broke up with him for me. We dated for a year (she's also the girl that I posted about earlier). She ended up breaking up with me and going back out with him.

By that time, I gave up. He and I could never be friends while they were together. When he said, "I'm sorry this had to happen to either of us" I don't know if he was referring to her (maybe she broke up with him) or if he was referring to our friendship.

The thing is, he has always been my best friend. Sense 7th grade. He's always been there. He's always picked me up when I was down and vice versa. When he started getting girlfriends, I started getting girlfriends. When he started getting muscles, I started getting muscles. The thing is... A girl DID come between us. We promised each other that it would never happen, but it DID happen. And now he wants us to be friends again.

Can it be the same? Can we be friends? Especially if he's still with her. What if he's still with her? I don't mean to get all AFCish in this post, but she's a weakness to me. I distance myself from her, because I can't be around her. If I'm around her, I just want to break down and beg her to come back to me. And that's when jealousy and anger will kick in towards him. She's a weakness. The only way to stop my feelings for her is to completely stay away from her.

In this case, I do want my best friend back. Friends are supposed to last forever. Girls aren't. But can we still be friends? Can it be the same? What would you guys do? I know my DJ friends will pull through for me once again.

 

[backbreaker]

sure it can be done.. you just have to be the bigger man and say " you know what, what's done and done, she wants you and not me, no girl is as important as our friendship"

They won't last... but that's a different thread. Girls will come and go. No girl that I will probably bang and date for less than a year, is more important than my two best friedns who I have known since I was 9.

It was a pretty akward situtation, neither of you really did anything wrong, like I said, it's done.

Call him

 

[JonJack]

The two of you could still be friends. Maybe not in the near future but eventually. In the beginning, things will be difficult. You could go and talk and meet with you friend but you would always think about her because your friend is with her.

It's not really a question of whether or not it could be the same. The important question is whether or not you can get over this girl. Your thoughts of her is the one getting in the way at this point in time. If your friend is as good a buddy as you mentioned, he would be sensitive enough to not simply bring up things about her. If he does, you let him know to stop.

So here's where you stand right now. A girl came into the picture. It has exposed the weakness of the claim that 'a girl will never come between us'. It seems he doesn't want it to end this way. It's now your problem. Now you have to decide if you're going to be more at peace with yourself by letting it get between you guys or by trying your best to keep the friendship you have.

Personally, I would explain my situation to my friend and request for some time to think things through and resolve the issues I have. There's no animosity and he knows you're trying to resolve things.

 

[Damian]

I say get over that stupid girl, there's nothing about her that you really want when you think about it. Think about it from both sides. First of all, when you found out it was your best friend's girlfriend, you never should have followed through. It's one of the most important laws in the unwritten PUA code of conduct. Never steal another PUA's girl. When you found out, you should have broken it off and set clear limits.

Now, I can just tell you to get over that girl and go find somebody who won't swing themselves around.

-Damian

 

[Lost In Translation]

KEEP AWAY FROM HIM

you fought over the same girl you posted about earlier

dude that cost you everything

anything to do with her or that time is contaminated

make some new friends

what if it is a trap to find your location ?

not worth all the drama

stay strong and move on


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**