A friend of mine sent me a message, and I didn’t know how to answer him.

[jhonny9546]

A friend of mine sent me a message, and I didn’t know how to answer him.


He asked:
"How do you know when a woman is genuinely into you or loves you, and it's not just a spike in sexual desire caused by her hormones or circumstances?"


It may sound like a simple question, but given my past experiences, I really can’t help him, any answer I might give would probably be misleading.

I’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of situation a few times, I’ll mention just two:
The first time, it was a woman who was trying to conceive her third child. (before pregnancy)
The second time, it was a woman who had just stopped taking birth control.


In both cases, these women suddenly seemed to “fall in love” with me, but that phase was short-lived. It turned out to be hormonal, not genuine emotional interest. Like those women were becoming nymphmaniacs, just for that short term period.


As men, do we have the ability to recognize this difference between "genuine love / interest" and "hormonal/circumstance interest" in the moment, before we get emotionally invested and hurt?
What should I say to my friend?

I believe this is pretty hard to do.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Her going to bed with you without having to be clubbed over the noggin, then hauled into your mancave confirms "she's into you"

Insofar as "love" goes... Grow up, and recognize that sh-t only exists in romcoms. You'll be a lot happier, I swear to you, by both The Old Gods and The New

 

[Doctor Europeo]

"How do you know when a woman is genuinely into you or loves you, and it's not just a spike in sexual desire caused by her hormones or circumstances?"

If he has to ask, its probably just hormones/circumstances

 

[Oatmeal31]

I don't think a spike in sexual desire will suddenly make an unattractive man, attractive in her eyes

 

[jhonny9546]

No woman will love a man the way he wants to be loved. She is hardwired to seek something of value in you, love you for the sake of love is a fallacy. If they don't have anything to gain, they won't "love you". Its not a bug, its a feature.

Clear. A woman looks for a high-value man. I always wonder what "feeling love" actually means for a woman. For us men, it's pretty straightforward.

But I guess your friend is a noobie, so if he's asking those kind of questions, he's already invested in her, not a good place to be.

First of all, I don't deny the fact that he is, and I don't consider myself capable of giving him precise advice—I'm still learning too. I'm in the same boat.