"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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A FR and a question

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I figure it's better to make one thread instead of two. The FR is actually unrelated to the question, but that's ok.

FR:

My school won a football game against a big rival on Sat, so we had awesome parties Saturday night. The three roommates of a chick I have several classes with were at those (they live in a quad). I'd say they're HB 6, 6, and 7, respectively. Anyway, after gaming the whole set and getting some drinks, I dance with the two 6s, leaving the 7 for last. Now, this chick always looks angry for some reason, so I nagged her about it for a little, asked for a dance, the whole nine yards.

A few minutes into the first song, things are really clicking and she's following me well. I figure, let's take this a step further. I run my fingers down her spine (an awesome things to do when you're dancing w/ a chick, btw. start at the cerebellum and move down), and I can feel her tingle against me. Feel up her thighs, stomach, etc, and she's loving it. I figure, I might as well pull out all the stops, so I start kissing her neck and moving up, all the while keeping the kino up. Long story short, I get to her mouth, and we start making out hardcore in the middle of the dance floor, pretty much. I reach under her shirt and she tugs my hand upwards. I squeezed them like oranges.

One of her roommates tells her they're moving to another club. She blows her off for a little while, then agrees to move with them. This club is across the street, so I figure I'll get a drink, use the restroom, then meet her up there. On the way out, I meet a friend and he convinces me (I don't remember how) to go stay in the original club. After a while, the HB 7 comes back, obviously looking intently for me. I wave in her direction, but she doesn't notice and looks for me like some sort of hitman. She leaves the room and looks elsewhere, and I figure she'll be back in a second. Turns out she's left the club, I'm guessing pretty dissappointed.

All in all, it was a good learning opportunity. I guess circumstance sort of screwed us over, first by filling my bladder, then by making my friend show up, then by making her look in a different direction when she looked for me. I can say that I could have gotten the lay, but considering the elapsed time, 2nd base isn't bad.

Now on to the completely unrelated question. I have a dinner at the end of the week, and I need to bring a date. To be honest, I want to bring the hottest chick possible so I can stick it to my buddies that will be there (we have these sorts of competitions all the time). So anyway, I'm figuring to ask out this HB 8.5. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be an issue, but we sorta have a past.

I actually met her on a hiking trip in the mountains (yea, no kidding), and only found out later that she also went to my school. We had some short but fairly decent convos, and I figured I might as well go for it. Told her to meet me up at a party, she flaked. It was an awesome party and I got some #s there, so I figured I might as well be truthful and I told her it was the best one so far. Anyway, after this point, for reasons I don't understand, she gives me the cold shoulder everytime I see her around campus. I figure I'm not getting anyway, so I'll just next.

Fast forward about a month and a half later (the present), I see her again and we talk a little, she gives some IOIs, so I figure there's no harm in trying, since I have plenty of other prospects anyway. Then I find out about this dinner.

This is my problem. It's really, really hard to see her in person because we both have pretty busy schedules (sports team, etc.). I have her #, but it's from the beginning of the school year, so it might be stalkerish if I give her a call. Likewise, I don't want to use facebook or some online thing because I'm not very good at it, and I figure it will seem stalkerish too. Should I just use these indirect methods, or try seeing her in person and risk not nailing her down in time for the dinner?

Thanks in advance, sosuave.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
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I read so many field reports on here lately with guys leaving the job half done, I really don't understand why you guys aren't closing?? In your situation I didn't expect you to run over to that HB7, but you gotta make more of an effort than waving your hand in her direction in a crowded club. Good work on all the seducing before though.

About this HB8.5. Seems like you didn't establish any attraction. If you did she would have definitely gone to that party to hangout with you a while back. It won't look stakerish if you ask her to the formal dinner deal you've got lined up. However I wouldn't ask her because there's no rapport, attraction or connection between the two of you.

Additionally your reason for wanting to bring the HB8.5 is honestly lame. It also shows that your trying to impress your friends, when all that should matter is what's good for you. Why not take the HB7? You've got a strong level of attraction built up, she'll most likely be down to finish what you two started the other night and that could lead to a fuvk buddy or something more if you want it. If this dinner was in 2-3 weeks I would say work your game on the HB8.5 and if your getting the vibe to go from there. But less than a week, plus a Friday night and the odds are stacked against you on this one.



PIMP
 

LA_Chico

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bro, seriously don't write that much, u think ur Stephen Prince or something!

I was at a party and I met him, hes a chill guy.
 

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I've pretty much decided that if I don't see the 8.5 by the end of the day, I'll find someone else. I did see the 7 on my way to class (really briefly, I was on a bike and she was on foot), so I couldn't gauge whether she felt awkward.

I know some HB 8s in my dance class that will probably go with me. To be honest, guys, I'm being a selfish misogynistic prick and trying to impress my friends for reason that, though not listed here, are really important right now.
 

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I figure its AFC to even spend time thinking about it, so I msg'd HB 8.5, if she says no I'll just find someone else. Why do I overcomplicate things, lol :crazy:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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