A fine line between stalking and chasing?

[Preacher]

I have been seeing this girl I met at a club for the last 4-5 weeks. We hit it off from day one, and I have had a lot of fun with her. Things have been progressing quite nicely, but her interest levels are almost impossible to read.

She is a player. Big time. She gets off on the game, to the point where it actually gets annoying at times. Phones left off for a whole day sometimes, returns calls 2 days later, cancels the odd date, ignores the phone occasionally.

The strange thing is that for some reason, the last two or three times we have gone out, she has been complaining that I dont show enough interest in her. She says most men lose the plot when they really like a girl, and would phone 6-7 times a day, turn up unanounced at her place, do almost anything to intiate contact. She considers this a proper chase!

On all these occasions I asked if shes looking for a man or a stalker. The last time she brought it up I also told her that I think she gets off on that type of attention, and if she thinks I am going to buckle into that garbarge she has another thing comming. I have only known her for little over a month. SHes not the be all and end all of my life. I know once I show complete interest in her, shes probably going to run like the wind. At the moment, I feel like I am a bit of a challenge for her, and thats that. There is just no drive from her at all, unless I dont call for a few days.

The scary thing is that she is acting like a high school girl, and at 23 I expect better than this from her. I really do like her, but Im not sure if I should show a bit more patience, stick to my guns and keep doing things the way I normally do, or just tell her to take a hike.

 

[Aztec]

I think you already know the answer to your question and the best course of action. Your better judgment are being clouded for your high interest for this dame.

She wants men's attention. Don't give her that satisfaction by being a pssy and giving in to her qualms.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Let me see if I understand this correctly:

1. You know she is a player but you still continue to waste YOUR valuable time on a FREAK. Why?

2. Freaks have a ton of other men they are banging. This is ok with you? It's ok to stick your dyck in her soaking cun*t after some other man has just left it?

Ok then here's the low down.

1. Keep doing what your doing. This HO is used to men bowing down and chasing her SKANKY ass. Yes she is a skank I don't care how fine she is...and sex is probably really good with her to...why do you think fools chase after her.

2. The more you act like you don't care that she is fawking someone else the more she will come around to you. Now what you need to do is when she is sucking your dyck...make her tell you about sex with the last man. This will nut her up. It also shows her that your cool and down with it.

3. But it will create a bonding with her to you. I think the chemical in ho's heads is called Oxytocyn or something like that. Science has shown that it causes women to bond to just one man. When you get her to open up and pry her secrets out of her especially while she is doing something sexual (release of oxytocyn)...she will get bonded to YOU.

4. With Freaks you can't invest your heart into them because they love sex too much. Even if she starts developing feelings for you she will still cheat a few more times.


5. By getting her to talk about her fawking other men will open up door ways in her head...hopefully your man enough to handle this and not act like a jealous faggot. If you can't emotionally shut off then don't do it and leave this slut alone.

6. With freaks they get this way because not from sexual abuse but lack of attention or from absent fathers. So they thrive on male attention. This is why they wear those short short skirts and keep their bodies in such good shape and dress the way they do and put on all that make-up (some do this some don't need the garish make-up)

7. I've dated many freaks even had one for 8 years totally on MY jock. This one was the M.A.C. make-up artist. Believe me I know every sexual secret that she had as well as my current girls secrets.

8. Keep on with your avoidance program why? think about the lack of attention she probably didn't get from her own pops...and even if she did she still thrives on male attention...

so deny her what she is craving. Tease her with it. Don't return her calls right away and everything she is doing to other men.

 

[drmeathead]

Everything is chasing until the girl directly tells you to leave her alone especially if she expresses interest at some point. If she tells you that she isnt interested or your intent is to annoy or scare her, then it is stalking. You may be Big Creepy calling her and whatnot but until she says hit the road it is all part of the chase.


If a girl either acts interested (by this I mean calling you atleast once AFTER a date) then she needs to tell you when she isnt interested. A man would be a man about things and tell her when he isnt interested anymore. While a you may lose your dignity repeated calling an "interested" woman or giving her attention, until she explicitly communicates (email, phone, note, in person) that she is no longer interested, all is fair.

Some women feel they can simply fade you out. That is their privilage as the fairer sex to keep that tactic on retainer. Society puts them on a pedestal and a good portion of the population permits them to do that. Other women think they are being nice by not telling you how they feel. Instead you call them two or three times, justifing their lack of response by making excuses for their call tardiness. It has been said a hero dies once but a coward many times.

Now if a girl doesnt express interest (again the litmus test is her call to you after a date) then leave her alone. You have no vested personal interactions with a girl. Save face and just let it go.


It doesnt sound at all like you are in this group. I just threw it out for discussions sake. I was in a relationship where the girl just stopped calling. Never said leave me alone. There just comes a point where you need to salavge you dignity and stop. It is better to have you arm cut off with a scalpel than a spoon. I learned the hard way.

 

[tristan22]

Drmeathead

Really good post! It is best to cut your losses, save your dignity, and move on when a female decides to flake on you!





The last girl i was pursuing went from hot to cold and broke all contact with me. I screwed it up, because of my lack of aggression. I meet so many different females, yet lack the experience to read and decide which girls to pursue aggressively and which girls to pursue laxly.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Let me see if I understand this correctly:

1. You know she is a player but you still continue to waste YOUR valuable time on a FREAK. Why?

2. Freaks have a ton of other men they are banging. This is ok with you?

hmm... my crystal ball tells me they have not had sex with each other yet ... how bout it Preacher? The relationship has not reached the point of sex yet has it?

 

[coldcoal]

1) Seems she picks and chooses when she's ready to hear from you. 2) She gets a drive when you don't ring her up for a few days. 3) You're on the brink of telling her to take a hike.

Considering these three things, you don't need to deal with the games at all. I'd make it the norm that she should have to initiate more to keep things going. If not, oh well.

 

[Preacher]

Yes, we have been at it from the third date. I have seen a hell of a lot of this girl in the last 4-5 weeks. More so than would be normal for people who have been dating for such a short period of time.

There is no doubt she is interested. What concerns me is:

1) She told me flat out she has a very high sex drive. Shes a straightforward girl most of the time, and so far I could hardly say shes frigid. I wonder how trustworthy she can be when I consider these things.

2) She is good in bed. I have been with older women who did not know their way around the place like she does. She is only 23. So she is experienced, and has had quite a few partners. Nearly gave me a heart attack when she admitted to giving a gay friend a blow job so he could tell her what she was doing right and wrong!!! Now I am a fairly open minded bloke, but her logic behind it is that a man who likes you never critisizes a woman in bed. It was off putting until she gave me head though

3) Shes complaining that I am only in it for the sex, and have no interest in her other than that. Shes calling ME a player. Thats what bothers me more than anything. Its only been a short while, but we really get on well together, and we always have fun when we go out. The simple fact is that she is trying to corner me into acting like a love sick puppy, because its what she has had in the past. The simple fact is that I am unsure wether or not this is what she considers normal.

4)She is a looker. Absolute pearler. Im worried my judgement is clouded by the fact that not only is she a hottie, shes an animal in the sack.

5) Maybe shes not used to someone acting indifferent to her charms. Perhaps its just a challenge to get me to buckle in, and then its out with the used and abused, and into her next conquest.

6) A womans phone off for 2-3 days at a time? The only thing more important to a woman than her phone is oxygen. It stays OFF. Message reports for SMS dont go through until a few days later. Then shes back in the fold again. My questions is who the f*ck is she with that she does not have to have her phone on? Shes a very outgoing girl, with a very active social life. My phone is never off unless I am in a meeting, and even then its on silent. We may not be exclusive, but the way things seemed to be progressing, I sure as hell was not looking around.


Im staring to convince myself here that this is just heading towards heartache. *Sigh* I think its time for the boot.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

she's a HO! she's fvcking probably 3 other guys at any one time.

dump her fast. for myself, i'd tell her why too (e.g. "you're a ho").