"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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A Female visitor from Abroad...how do I handle this?

The Grue

Don Juan
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Greetings to all, I have been inactive for quite some time but once again I have a situation for which I would appreciate the views and wisdom of the other members!

I met Daniela about a year ago(August 2015) while travelling to Belgrade, Serbia. She is 34 and was a friend of a friend( I have quite a large circle in Belgrade as I have been travelling back and forth for a number of years). We became friends and started to chat online from time to time. Come October or so, we both got a bit flirty and we agreed to definitely go out when I visit in November. When I came in November, we went out and had a great evening and ended up kissing.

Here I must mention that Daniela has certain issues with anxiety. This means that she is often uncomfortable in certain situations and needs her time. With this in mind, I did not press anything apart from the actual kiss. The part after the kiss was a bit awkward and her anxiety kicked in or she possibly, she was not into it...I am not certain. At one point later in the night she asked where I was staying and I could have possibly brought her over but I was feeling a bit out of it myself.

As I returned her to her home, she tried to explain that her anxiety is a major problem and I did not really press the issue since it was obvious the lady had problems. The next few days we meet up again and we talk about us and she says that she doesn't think she can be in a relationship. I answer that it was fine and we can be friends...yet, as I walked her home we exchanged a passionate kiss in front of her place, which she sort of instigated. I then asked her what she was doing over Christmas, and she said she was free.

Unfortunately, after that we spoke less and less and I had some major family issued to deal with which means my mind was not really on women.
Daniela and I grew apart, and spoke very infrequently if at all. However, in spring we had a conversation and she asked if I could see her as a friend rather than romantically. I told her we are cool and can be friends which she seemed to like.
Come early July, I invite her to visit me in Athens for a week and stay at my place.
To be honest, I did not expect her to accept since we did not know each other that well and there was a small romantic history between us. Still, she said she will think about it and a few days later, she asked if she can visit in August(which surprised me completely, especially since plane travel cause her great anxiety!)
So, she is coming next week to visit and stay for 8 days at my place.
We have not talked about about what the nature of our relationship is, but again, we have started to flirt a bit.
My question is this.

How do I handle this situation?

Since I am her host, I am planning to be a gentleman yet try to escalate if opportunity arises since I do like this woman.

What advice would you offer as to how to act?

Thank you all for reading and advising!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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The Duke

Master Don Juan
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I don't invest in women I don't intend to fuhk. Simple as that.

-You seem very undecided and are putting her feelings before yours. I recommend having a phone call before she comes to make it clear what it is you want.

-Women are attracted to men that don't straddle the fence. Its like you are afraid of offending her. Maybe this is what is creating the awkwardness?

-You don't impress me as a guy that leads as man should. Maybe this is what is creating the awkwardness?

-She has already warned you that she has anxiety problems. If there is anxiety, there are other problems.

-If being a "gentleman" means not trying to stick your dihk in her then no guy ever scored any points for that. If she doesn't like it she will say no. It goes back to acting like a man, taking charge, and going after what you want assuming you have laid the proper ground work and created enough desire.
 

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan
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What I liked the most was how one night they kiss, then a few nights later this chick is already talking to OP about how she can't be in a relationship. My god, talking about some spiraling out of control sh!t thinking right there.

OP, bang her if you want, I dont really think this is ever going to be more than that. I never advocate in favor of long distance anything.
 

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
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straddling a fence eventually gives you sore ba11s. Maku up YOUR mind as to what you want. Then go for it
DO you WANT a woman who has anxiety issues that you have to fix? I'd rather find a normal one
 

The Grue

Don Juan
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Thanks for you help lads...it is refreshing to hear your views!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

blind_one

Master Don Juan
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She said she doesn't want a relationship because it would be long distance. And its a big no no, her anxiety is another big no no for a relationship so everything is fine. She will be at your place, so prepare a place for her to sleep, a couch another bed or a mattress, its just for the show. You want to bang her so just escalate and see how it goes. Remember to report back ! If she flys from Belgrade that means she is obviously interested as she is investing. Don't dissapoint her ;).
 

The Grue

Don Juan
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She said she doesn't want a relationship because it would be long distance. And its a big no no, her anxiety is another big no no for a relationship so everything is fine. She will be at your place, so prepare a place for her to sleep, a couch another bed or a mattress, its just for the show. You want to bang her so just escalate and see how it goes. Remember to report back ! If she flys from Belgrade that means she is obviously interested as she is investing. Don't dissapoint her ;).
Your words mirror my thoughts kind sir...not so blind are you? ;) :D
 
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