A Don Juan's Consolation

[sifer]

Gentlemen.

I have come to a realization of one thing after skimming through the forum.

The last time I came here, the idea was that one does not get laid often, or that one was a nerd, he would come, re-examine himself and improve on that self.

Now it has become "sex sex, wait did I say I need sex now? Sex sex sex, gimme sex!"

For the ones chasing sex solely and for the novice PUA.

STOP!

Don't go out for sex. Do not be fooled by the PUA. They are businessmen, not truly happy people.

You shall be disappointed if you do. Much like money, if your modus operandi is only money money money, you will make none.

You are a Don Juan, you must act like one.

A pickup artist is a pickup artist, a Don Juan is a Don Juan, the two should never be a synonym.

Reality check: If you come for sex, your success rate aren't that high enough to begin with, learning the materials in PUA won't get you there overnight either. If you actually go out, try out a canned line, you will fail miserably.

If you see a girl, you no doubt have sex in your mind if you're a PUA, that is your goal afterall. But to this day, what most novice (to PUA) misunderstand or do not know is that, the feelings must be reciprocated. You aren't a true PUA because you do not feel comfortable being one. This will not allow the girl to feel comfortable in her state of mind. Thus it won't work the way it is intended.

Then you can't forget ****y and funny, that is a technique overrated. People concentrate on ****y and funny with canned lines. It will not work, it's not you. Even David De'Angelo said it, you are not congruent with what you say.

Then connection. I've personally seen total strangers who read the PUA materials, go out, and screw up so badly it was unnecessary.

You MUST make the connection. In order for the mating game to work, she MUST want to initiate the connection. All stage of the mating game MUST be played. Otherwise jumping straight to sex you will have no connection. Trying to approach a girl without her initiating, you will have no connection. Both might get you "something", but neither will provide the happiness and satisfaction you are seeking.

Then trying to close. Remember, if you are not congruent with your body language, what you say, nothing will work. You will and are confusing the girl. Confidence is important and that's the stem of it all. If you say something ****y and funny, if you're not confident, she'll think of you as dumb. At least nice guys are honest.

If you want to get started, it's really simple. Be a man, you don't need the girls to survive. Stop basing your self-value on the amount of sex you receive. Afterall girls come and go. Girls are JUST girls.

When you approach them, talk to them, yes. But don't concentrate strictly on closing. This is where most fail. When you talk to them, concentrate on feeling comfortable with the girl. Try to feel what it feels like to talk to the opposite sex. Don't concentrate on closing, it won't get you anywhere because you're not confident enough yet.

Since you're not confident enough yet, if you do get the number, you will inflate your ego. A true Don Juan knows that inflating his own ego is dangerous, he knows that because he also knows that girls are just girls. If you inflate your ego, then you know you are still basing your self-value on some total stranger's number you got. You are still desperate.

Anti-Dump and Pook spoke on this,

Pook says...
You first need to figure out what you want and NOT COME AT A GIRL FROM A POSITION OF NEED.

Kill your desperation!

By being a PUA you are still desperate and building yourself based on that desperation!

 

[Fender]

Sifer, I totally agree with you here.

But you know....guys...men....

WE'RE HORNY!!!!

So no matter how many good quality posts we churn out around here..."some" men are still out there for the quick lay. Leave them to be and let them rot when their penis becomes dysfunctional. THEN they'll learn their lesson.

-peace-

 

[catnip]

Sifer, I agree with your perspective and also Fenders. All guys are driven to mate any way possible when reaching puberty. Everyone is here for a different reason but in my opinion most are here to understand woman and get laid. Once over the intial objective sex (and have half a brain) begin to be amazed at the
process of seduction and trance like effect on woman and giving her what she is searching for can you really feel happy. rAFC

 

[Don Giovanni]

There are several movements taking place on the board these days. That's one of the reasons I think this board is fantastic. Enough of the right stuff and enough of the right people are being brought together in one room.

If you haven't noticed already, there is a change quietly taking place among the older crowd on this board. In some unconcious way (probably unrealized), some members (mostly older, i.e. not the newbie who joined four months ago) are spearheading the move.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it is exciting. It is exciting in what it implies and in what it will do for the future.

I remember reading something Pook wrote about the founders of this nation and how in such a small population at that time there were such amazing men. Believe it that something is happening here. A true evolution and not a quick change "revolution" to score some girl.

I see it now and how it is all connecting up. From the father who is frustrated with the son because he does not know how to teach his son to "grow up" against the tide of culture that encourages him to be some "nice guy" to the BROKEN tablets and laws of manhood lying around. And yet I am so excited. I am excited because everything will need to be rewritten. Once in a while I'll read a post about how some guy rebelled against his father or how his father had changed so much over the years from warm and kind to strict and criticizing. It is because those fathers lack the understanding of how to raise their sons into men. Why is this? Because culture, religion, etc. had always been the forces that turned boys into men. These tablets are broken and the pieces lay scatter. What does this mean? It means so much... from the fall of chasity as a value, to hordes of lost boys chasing after girls. But that's the problem and perhaps the solution in a twisted way. We have all known that certain "types" of guys get most of the girls - what will those guys who don't score do? In the past, nothing. Except eventually get married and perhaps raise children (that may or may not be his). But now, there is a union being formed of the right people with the right stuff.

Think about the guys who did not get the girls. The nerds, nice guys, etc. And now they are coming together in an odd collective and that is allowing them to "get girls." But much more interesting than this is that it is creating a very small minority of men and this small minority is leading the quiet "movement" I talked about. Life continues outside of this website.

There is so much that is MISLEADING on this website. The loudest guy in the room is not always the right one or the one who knows what he is doing. But that guy is heard above the rest by the hordes of inexperienced looking for quick fixes to their "confidence" (which is absolutely bunk- the understanding of confidence that is) and "self-esteem" problems.

And that is why the movement I'm talking about is "quiet." I think the majority of guys still have attaining some girl (for long term, etc.) as their MAIN goal. Nothing wrong with going for girls, but your focus should get off of girls after a while.

Let me ask you this: why do the guys who are getting girls and living the life of their dreams start chanting in chorus "girls are a nice addition to my life, but no longer my MAIN focus?" This is why I think this website is going to bring out some very interesting men in the future. Change your life? How about change the world?

Anyway, sifer, thumbs up. And keep posting.

 

[Jariel]

A really good tip and I second everything Sifer said. Don Giovanni made a good point about the evolution of this board and the members, and posts like this are very encouraging. I think more people are starting to see a path that truly works...with women, but mainly in life as a whole.

Speaking from my own point of view, I feel that finding this path has led me to a state of enlightenment. To hell with approaches and pick ups, I have hot women chasing me now and I've started dating the hottest woman I've ever dated. But the point is, if she flaked on me tomorrow, I'd find something else to do and if women stopped showing me attention, I'd continue in other areas of my life with contentment and confidence.

I hope more people start to see this path soon.

 

[Don Giovanni]

Don Juan, I'm glad you're making your life work the way YOU want it to. And it is nice when the shoe is on the other foot.

But there is more and it is simply a matter of math.

You're still relatively new to the forum in my eyes and I don't think you really understand what I'm getting at. I'm telling you that it is just a matter of math. Why math? Look at it this way. A newbie logs on (heartbroken) to learn to get girls. System shock is what occurs first, re-evaluation, etc. He works on getting girls and has modest success, which is good. But a lot is afoot. Some guys learn about the existence of the gym and how to (finally) gain lots of muscle. I speak personally when I say being skinny is one of the greatest BLESSINGS I have been given. Blessing? Yes... but this has to do with the curse of being too well blessed. What does being skinny do to you? Well, any true hardgainer will tell you what IRON DISCIPLINE you need to FORGE out of yourself completely to get results. The point is again, math. One leads to two and then to three. And two plus two is four.

I am not trying to be abstract and poetic when I say change the world. Look around. What do you see? A small minority posts about something called financial freedom... and after one comes two. You connect the dots. What happens when the dream is no longer a spark or a moment of realization? What happens when it blazes like the forge in the smith?

You tell me posts like these are very encouraging. Then you must realize how few people are working in this way, even on this forum where so many of the right people have been drawn together. You're also touching something important with this. Let me ask you this: romantically, how do women describe their "dream guy?" Sure there is prince charming, but there is also the dark ideal of the lone wolf. The individual, the man who stands alone. Look, this part is confusing so do not take it at face value and think I'm telling you to be anti-social or anything. This needs to be more fully explained, but I'm putting it on the table because it is appropriate right now. You won't find too many people outside of this website jiving at the same frequency as you is what I'm saying.

You think I'm saying that some people are going to be living the lives of their dreams confident and all, which is a part of it, but I'm saying something else. You are talking about a content and happy life... and the path that leads there. I'm talking about CONQUERING the world. That's why I posted on this thread. Sifer wrote a thread on investing in real estate and I saw the numbers adding up with him. Simple math. This isn't poetry. If this was poetry, I would have written a post on how to be a man and the like that comes up twice a month. I don't think people are even seeing the different doorways into manhood (transmutation is one and is also the gentlest and safest one). I promise you that you do not want to walk through many of the others.

Point is that there already is a small number of guys on this board that basic math shows is going to be something really amazing in the future. It becomes about more than contentment. This is the path I want to describe to you that a small minority is walking on. Described only, because to see it, you will have had to walk through hell (of your own making) and come out the other side to see it and decide for yourself if you want to go down it. You pay your dues. And there is no guarantee.

Don Juan, keep on.