HalfPUAHalfAFC
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2012
- Messages
- 323
- Reaction score
- 63
THE SET UP
My ex is madly in love with me and we’ve been broken up for about 2 ½ years. I totally game her hard without usually knowing it or even trying. I’ve not banged her in about 9 months but she still is working hard at getting back into my life, even while knowing I’m banging and dating other women and have no interest in getting back together.
Unfortunately, I only do so-so with new women; sometimes excellently and other times horribly and still other times I begin great, dominate, and then backslide into beta-hood and the new gal loses interest (just happened last month)…. Hence my user name.
But the point of this post is to (1) explain what I do with/to my ex that makes her appetite for me unquenchable since my game with her is super tight without even trying and (2) argue that it is possible though difficult to transfer my behavior with her to other women. Let me explain.
With my ex, I am totally outcome independent, never supplicate, dominate the frame always, move from ****y/funny to aloof effortlessly, drop negs without realizing it, constantly demonstrate higher value, and so on. And, get this, she’s a surgeon who makes 5x more money than I, went to more prestigious schools, has a huge house, etc. and still she’s chasing me (I’m a lowly academic with a modest house, an economical car, moderately okay wardrobe, and am decent looking). How this went down teaches a lesson on how to deal with all women.
THE BACKSTORY
How this all started is important to the story. See, we knew each other back in highschool, where I was one of the cool, aloof non-comformist badboy types. She was a dork. But we ran in similar circles and knew each other a little. She knew lots of girls wanted to bang me back then, and a few of them did.
So when we ran into each other 20 years later, there was already familiarity, comfort, rapport, social proof, etc. Also, though the details don’t matter here, we met up with a group of mutual friends for our first “reunion” and both of us already knew we were going to bang, so I didn’t even need to hit on her (we had actually planned it beforehand). All I needed to do was not mess it up. I didn’t, we banged, banged some more, and ended up dating for a year before I dumped her (the reason is not important either. Let’s just say she didn’t something incredibly brash and stupid, I ejected, and neither her nor anyone else blamed me. And what she did [it wasn’t cheating] completely disqualified her as a potential partner).
Note before continuing: this was all before I paid any real attention to seduction blogs, game, etc.
THE LESSON I LEARNED
Now to the crux of the matter. Because of our past, the way we were re-introduced, and because sex was already on the table, I didn’t have to actively move our interaction toward seduction. I was totally congruent, teased her like a kid sister, didn’t take her seriously, made jokes about her job, remained unimpressed at the fancy schools she had gone to, and so on.
Now, I have a career I’m successful in, am very confident in myself, can be naturally witty, etc., so there was never any inner-feeling on my side that I had to do anything to impress her. I’ve got a lot of life experience and a lot going for me and I know it. I’m happily unmarried intentionally and live my life how I see fit. I’m not defined by having a partner. And I often have a “I don’t give a fcuk” attitude. These are all attractive qualities, especially once women get to know them (e.g., she actually liked that I smoked too many cigars, drank too much scotch, and had a little pot belly….which I have now rid myself of).
She was hooked completely. She paid for a lot of stuff (dinners, travel) and I banged her lights out. Looking back on it, I gamed the daylights out of her without even knowing it. It was and is as close to a “natural” as I’ve ever been (and my lay count gets me into the upper categories people like Roissy and Roosh talk about…way over the average but not as high as master seducers).
Let me give you two examples of game that I ran without thinking about it, which demonstrate how a powerful frame (e.g., holding your boundaries) and a nuclear neg get a woman’s gina tingling.
She lived a few hours away when we started dating. I came up to visit and she was on call that night. Her live-in nanny (her gay BFF) decided that since I was there, he could go out and leave the two kids with me. When she got back I told her this was unacceptable. I came to see her, not play caretaker of her children. She later told me that she scolded the nanny and was very impressed with my boundary maintenance. This was only our third day seeing each other after the initial reunion and she was hooked. I manhandled her that night and the sheets were literally soaking wet because of her multiple orgasms.
Another instance. A few months in we were eating dinner somewhere and chatting about something non-memorable. She mentioned that she was thinking about coloring her hair “back to its usual color,” meaning the blondish color she had dyed it before dying it red. I responded spontaneously with a ****y/funny laugh, “You mean GRAY???” (we’re both 45). BOOM!!! Hamster nuked. She gave me a grin that made her mad that she couldn’t hold it in. She wanted to be pissed but just could not be. My line was perfectly timed, said with just enough sarcasm to let her know it was a joke, targeted her insecurities that a grown woman “knows” she should no longer have, etc. I was dominant and she felt like a school girl being disciplined by an adult who doesn’t take her seriously.
Moving on. After the breakup she continued to want to bang me and we did a few times. But she also wanted to get back together. My behavior? Could give a crap. I don’t respond to most texts (and have admonished her to not send me pointless texts about mundane events in her daily life). I talk about other women and hit on them when she is around (jealously plotline, even if I’m actually interested in banging the new chick and not her). I withdraw from even normal interaction and friendship when she misbehaves (e.g., she c0ckblocked me once and I scolded her like a child immediately and didn’t talk to her for two weeks). I crack on her motherly skills and the condition of her vehicle. When she calls about some problem or freakout she’s having (if I see it as minor) I make fun of her, take nothing she says seriously, treat the problem as totally irrelevant, etc.
Now, I am not this way constantly with her. For instance, if she called because a patient died, I’m sympathetic and listen. But I never orbit and I prevent her from doing the same. Still, she can’t give up the ghost and is constantly trying to stay on my radar, even if she knows I’m not interested in dating her or even banging her anymore. And, nevertheless, I get messages from her that say I can access her vaj anytime I want.
THE PROBLEM
When I encounter the ideas of the “top” guys in the manosphere (eg., Rollo, Roissy, Roosh, Krauser, or even Bill Burr), I usually understand exactly what they are talking about but I also know that I do not always interact with women the way I do with my ex. And I know if I could treat other women like I do my ex I would have more of them all over me. Also, if I could treat other woman like I do my ex, when I eventually get into a LTR I would not do what I often do: backslide into beta behavior that drives them away. With my last gf, who dumped me, I became a nice guy. I failed to hold a dominant frame. It became hard to maintain my aloofness, ****y-funny didn’t come up naturally, I thought too much about what I was doing and saying, etc.
My final point. When one has experienced firsthand the actions top guys in the manosphere recommend, they know exactly that what they say works does work. However, it can be difficult to become, do, demonstrate that behavior consistently. If you have had a relationship that developed the way I explain my ex above, you know now how to go about dealing with all women. The problem lies in the translation of past behavior that was successful because it was natural to new women.
My current goal: Visualize new targets as if they were my ex. If I can do that, I can quit thinking about theoretically successful game tactics. If I can simply treat all women like I do my ex, my game will be tighter than it’s ever been. I just wonder if I can pull that off.
If any of this sounds familiar, give it a shot too. Report back if you have any success with it.
My ex is madly in love with me and we’ve been broken up for about 2 ½ years. I totally game her hard without usually knowing it or even trying. I’ve not banged her in about 9 months but she still is working hard at getting back into my life, even while knowing I’m banging and dating other women and have no interest in getting back together.
Unfortunately, I only do so-so with new women; sometimes excellently and other times horribly and still other times I begin great, dominate, and then backslide into beta-hood and the new gal loses interest (just happened last month)…. Hence my user name.
But the point of this post is to (1) explain what I do with/to my ex that makes her appetite for me unquenchable since my game with her is super tight without even trying and (2) argue that it is possible though difficult to transfer my behavior with her to other women. Let me explain.
With my ex, I am totally outcome independent, never supplicate, dominate the frame always, move from ****y/funny to aloof effortlessly, drop negs without realizing it, constantly demonstrate higher value, and so on. And, get this, she’s a surgeon who makes 5x more money than I, went to more prestigious schools, has a huge house, etc. and still she’s chasing me (I’m a lowly academic with a modest house, an economical car, moderately okay wardrobe, and am decent looking). How this went down teaches a lesson on how to deal with all women.
THE BACKSTORY
How this all started is important to the story. See, we knew each other back in highschool, where I was one of the cool, aloof non-comformist badboy types. She was a dork. But we ran in similar circles and knew each other a little. She knew lots of girls wanted to bang me back then, and a few of them did.
So when we ran into each other 20 years later, there was already familiarity, comfort, rapport, social proof, etc. Also, though the details don’t matter here, we met up with a group of mutual friends for our first “reunion” and both of us already knew we were going to bang, so I didn’t even need to hit on her (we had actually planned it beforehand). All I needed to do was not mess it up. I didn’t, we banged, banged some more, and ended up dating for a year before I dumped her (the reason is not important either. Let’s just say she didn’t something incredibly brash and stupid, I ejected, and neither her nor anyone else blamed me. And what she did [it wasn’t cheating] completely disqualified her as a potential partner).
Note before continuing: this was all before I paid any real attention to seduction blogs, game, etc.
THE LESSON I LEARNED
Now to the crux of the matter. Because of our past, the way we were re-introduced, and because sex was already on the table, I didn’t have to actively move our interaction toward seduction. I was totally congruent, teased her like a kid sister, didn’t take her seriously, made jokes about her job, remained unimpressed at the fancy schools she had gone to, and so on.
Now, I have a career I’m successful in, am very confident in myself, can be naturally witty, etc., so there was never any inner-feeling on my side that I had to do anything to impress her. I’ve got a lot of life experience and a lot going for me and I know it. I’m happily unmarried intentionally and live my life how I see fit. I’m not defined by having a partner. And I often have a “I don’t give a fcuk” attitude. These are all attractive qualities, especially once women get to know them (e.g., she actually liked that I smoked too many cigars, drank too much scotch, and had a little pot belly….which I have now rid myself of).
She was hooked completely. She paid for a lot of stuff (dinners, travel) and I banged her lights out. Looking back on it, I gamed the daylights out of her without even knowing it. It was and is as close to a “natural” as I’ve ever been (and my lay count gets me into the upper categories people like Roissy and Roosh talk about…way over the average but not as high as master seducers).
Let me give you two examples of game that I ran without thinking about it, which demonstrate how a powerful frame (e.g., holding your boundaries) and a nuclear neg get a woman’s gina tingling.
She lived a few hours away when we started dating. I came up to visit and she was on call that night. Her live-in nanny (her gay BFF) decided that since I was there, he could go out and leave the two kids with me. When she got back I told her this was unacceptable. I came to see her, not play caretaker of her children. She later told me that she scolded the nanny and was very impressed with my boundary maintenance. This was only our third day seeing each other after the initial reunion and she was hooked. I manhandled her that night and the sheets were literally soaking wet because of her multiple orgasms.
Another instance. A few months in we were eating dinner somewhere and chatting about something non-memorable. She mentioned that she was thinking about coloring her hair “back to its usual color,” meaning the blondish color she had dyed it before dying it red. I responded spontaneously with a ****y/funny laugh, “You mean GRAY???” (we’re both 45). BOOM!!! Hamster nuked. She gave me a grin that made her mad that she couldn’t hold it in. She wanted to be pissed but just could not be. My line was perfectly timed, said with just enough sarcasm to let her know it was a joke, targeted her insecurities that a grown woman “knows” she should no longer have, etc. I was dominant and she felt like a school girl being disciplined by an adult who doesn’t take her seriously.
Moving on. After the breakup she continued to want to bang me and we did a few times. But she also wanted to get back together. My behavior? Could give a crap. I don’t respond to most texts (and have admonished her to not send me pointless texts about mundane events in her daily life). I talk about other women and hit on them when she is around (jealously plotline, even if I’m actually interested in banging the new chick and not her). I withdraw from even normal interaction and friendship when she misbehaves (e.g., she c0ckblocked me once and I scolded her like a child immediately and didn’t talk to her for two weeks). I crack on her motherly skills and the condition of her vehicle. When she calls about some problem or freakout she’s having (if I see it as minor) I make fun of her, take nothing she says seriously, treat the problem as totally irrelevant, etc.
Now, I am not this way constantly with her. For instance, if she called because a patient died, I’m sympathetic and listen. But I never orbit and I prevent her from doing the same. Still, she can’t give up the ghost and is constantly trying to stay on my radar, even if she knows I’m not interested in dating her or even banging her anymore. And, nevertheless, I get messages from her that say I can access her vaj anytime I want.
THE PROBLEM
When I encounter the ideas of the “top” guys in the manosphere (eg., Rollo, Roissy, Roosh, Krauser, or even Bill Burr), I usually understand exactly what they are talking about but I also know that I do not always interact with women the way I do with my ex. And I know if I could treat other women like I do my ex I would have more of them all over me. Also, if I could treat other woman like I do my ex, when I eventually get into a LTR I would not do what I often do: backslide into beta behavior that drives them away. With my last gf, who dumped me, I became a nice guy. I failed to hold a dominant frame. It became hard to maintain my aloofness, ****y-funny didn’t come up naturally, I thought too much about what I was doing and saying, etc.
My final point. When one has experienced firsthand the actions top guys in the manosphere recommend, they know exactly that what they say works does work. However, it can be difficult to become, do, demonstrate that behavior consistently. If you have had a relationship that developed the way I explain my ex above, you know now how to go about dealing with all women. The problem lies in the translation of past behavior that was successful because it was natural to new women.
My current goal: Visualize new targets as if they were my ex. If I can do that, I can quit thinking about theoretically successful game tactics. If I can simply treat all women like I do my ex, my game will be tighter than it’s ever been. I just wonder if I can pull that off.
If any of this sounds familiar, give it a shot too. Report back if you have any success with it.