"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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A DJ Guide to Texting

Colossus

Master Don Juan
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I know, I know. Some of you are probably thinking that texting and DJ should never belong in the same sentence together. At one point I might have agreed, but like it or not, texting is here to stay and the phone call is going the way of the Brontosaurus. I was thinking back today and realized that I hooked up with a half-dozen girls in my last single year before ever exchanging one phone call. That’s right dawg, T-X-T.

This is going to be brief, because frankly, you shouldn’t be putting THAT much thought into texting. However, texting is a delicate game and things can easily be misinterpreted. Used skillfully, it can be a great tool in any DJ’s belt.

1. Keep texts brief. That’s why they were created, to convey brief messages. No text-convo’s or extended correspondence. You aren’t pen pals with her. If she tries to carry it out, it may be a sign of high interest, but then again she may just be babbling with her fingers. Women love to read and write and assert themselves through these mediums. End it politely by saying you are in the middle of something or at work, and you’ll catch up with her later.

2. Avoid emoticons if at all possible!!! I feel gay even saying ‘emoticon’. Leave that girly sh!t to them. If you MUST use it to convey sarcasm or silliness, then go ahead, but don’t make a habit of it. Better to not use any at all.

3. I am a believer in the “Trial Text” (see Roissy). This is basically a text sent to her a short time after getting her number, either that night (which I don’t advise), or the following day. Think of it as a feeler. If a girl has a cell phone, she texts. If she has high interest in you, she will likely respond within 10 minutes, or later with an explanation of her tardiness. If this is the case, you are clear for takeoff into further panty-exploring territory. Moderate-ambivalent interest, she might respond many hours later or the next day. In this case, you are more likely to bomb out pre-coitus and your game will really have to be on point. If she doesn’t respond, forget her. Seriously.

4. Use texting primarily to be witty, sexy, or set/confirm a meet-up. I dont recommend trying to be 'sextual' unless you have a way with words, or she initiates it.

5. If you are spending more than 5 minutes carefully crafting your message, don’t send it. You are investing way too much time into something that can easily be misinterpreted. If you have no prior rapport, sending a text with room for interpretation can blow you out before you ever meet her a second time.

6. Don’t use shorthand unless you know her (especially if she is over 25). It makes you look like a dumb tool. “Lol” is acceptable, but nothing like “omg roflmao i luv it wair u gunna b l8r??”

7. This shouldn’t even need to be said, but if she doesn’t respond, DO NOT send another text! It’s like a laser-guided desperation missile. Forget her, move on, she had a chance.


And that about covers it. I hope this helps you tighten up your texting game.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Amazing

Master Don Juan
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Not a bad guide, i like the "if you thinking too much about it, dont send" part.


i met a chick saturday, it wasnt going THAT great, but she lived near me and I got her number.

i texted her same night as we were leaving the bar "I just got kidnapped by 2 bad girls, if you dont hear from me again, call the cops!"

just a feeler, no response

so i was like, bah, ok


next day i wanted to hang out since it was sunday so i texted "hey short stuff, i got an hour free right now, lets meet up for cofee and you can tell me all about the fun suburban life"

no response, she was short so may be she got upset, although i think interest wasnt there..



once in awhile you say "MAY BE SHE DOESNT HAVE TEXT?!" OMG ILL CALL.


yeah, don't. i dont think those people exist anymore.
 

Black Dog

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Girls text so much, there are some girls also that are just to shy to call.....and want to keep flirtingn sh!t all night over text....this is very lame I nexted an unfortunate freshman girl who liked me...but man she would never pick up the phone.


Thanks, great guide, I like the don't text unless you're good with words...this is what I try to abide by. If I girl texts me and I'm eating pizza, I'll try to make things interesting by describing my food as "luscious" or whatever to tickle her interest. I also try to throw the word sexy in whenever I can...I I realized with text its real easy to fall into the FZ just be cautious
 

thedude4242

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texting the girl the same night is worthless unless you have some kind of get together set up. remember when you bother them early or text them too soon they also have rules were they then disqualify you. I think making sure everything is text and spelled right is also dumb. you ever see how they text? DJ is now like mma, everyone does it.
 

Jon55

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Talk about taking a simple thing and making it way too complex. It's just texting. Anyone who's this focused on texting needs to seriously re-evaluate their priorities.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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