A DJ about to leave a love. Would you?

[illflytonight]

Been DJ until i met this beautiful girl i've been dating for 3 years now and i feel the attraction level on her side is slowing on her side. no fights and could always talk anything out. for a while i thought it was a perfect relationship.

Sex and passion has slowed to a halt, but too afraid to move on. She tells me she need some time apart to find herself b/c shes been in relationships all her life and never had a chance to make her own decisions. she tells me she loves me and wants to marry me, but wants to take a break to become independent.

Its hard to let go of a great thing, but after reading numerous posts and articles, it seems the only way is to do the break up scenario and bets on her running back.

would you let go of a great relationship and go back to the DJ PUA lifestyle? What would you do if you were walking in my shoes? Thanks!:nervous:

 

[(JJ)]

it sounds like she's wanting to let go regardless of what you decide. however, if the opportunity is still available, you need to be the one to end it. and while you two are apart, you need to make it clear that you WILL be spinning other plates. not explicitly, but make sure that is an undertone of the conversation. if everything goes as you want it, she'll "learn to make decisions" and come back to you and you'll be the "happily ever after" couple. but even if it doesn't go how you're hoping at the moment, chances are that you'll have already found a girl you like even more in your plate spinning endeavors. so win-win baby

 

[WC2]

From what you're telling us, you really have no other choice here.

Once a woman mentions thoughts of anything to do with "break" or taking time off, then it's a sign. It's a sign that the spark isn't there in the relationship anymore and she wants to find it elsewhere.

She may still love you in her heart, but that sense of new found love has been gone for too long. She now wants to go find it elsewhere. This is why we call women branch swingers.

You need to let this woman have her space. However, instead of framing it as you giving her space, you need to let her know that you need your space too. And why shouldn't you? 3 years locked up with one chick, it wouldn't hurt to get back on your feet by yourself for a month or two would it?

The key is to see the signs of her not wanting the relationship before she does something. It seems to me like for your girl she's leaning over the edge about to make the decision. If you let her end the relationship on her terms, she will do just that- ON HER TERMS. Meaning she's going to feel empowered to go out there and bang other guys and not look back. However, if you empower yourself and tell this woman that a break is in store for you also, she will have to think twice about just how pretty and "empowered" she is.

The truth is you're cutting this ***** loose because she disrespected you. She basically told you that she wants to see other guys and then come back to you when she can't find anything better. But see if we told women that we knew this, then they would just adapt to play a new game. Getting mad at a woman because she wants to see other men will do nothing but make her leave faster. Thus, the best way to leave this situation is on your own terms without any animosity.

Please don't count 100% on your girl coming back. While there is a good chance, you never know what can happen. She could meet the guy of her dreams next week and never come back. Life is a barrel of luck. The sooner you start realizing your self-worth as an individual, the quicker you will realize that while you may have loved her, she is not all that important. If she was important then she would stick by you through thick and thin. In this scenario, she's leaving you because "she wants time." Tell her the same.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471&highlight=breaks

Its over dude.

Read joekerr's thread on breaks.

BTW, if a mod sees this could you guys just sticky joekerr's thread for a month or two?

It'd save me the trouble of having to link it up for the new guys.

 

[VIVAlasVEGASBaby]

From what you're telling us, you really have no other choice here.

Once a woman mentions thoughts of anything to do with "break" or taking time off, then it's a sign. It's a sign that the spark isn't there in the relationship anymore and she wants to find it elsewhere.

She may still love you in her heart, but that sense of new found love has been gone for too long. She now wants to go find it elsewhere. This is why we call women branch swingers.

You need to let this woman have her space. However, instead of framing it as you giving her space, you need to let her know that you need your space too. And why shouldn't you? 3 years locked up with one chick, it wouldn't hurt to get back on your feet by yourself for a month or two would it?

The key is to see the signs of her not wanting the relationship before she does something. It seems to me like for your girl she's leaning over the edge about to make the decision. If you let her end the relationship on her terms, she will do just that- ON HER TERMS. Meaning she's going to feel empowered to go out there and bang other guys and not look back. However, if you empower yourself and tell this woman that a break is in store for you also, she will have to think twice about just how pretty and "empowered" she is.

The truth is you're cutting this ***** loose because she disrespected you. She basically told you that she wants to see other guys and then come back to you when she can't find anything better. But see if we told women that we knew this, then they would just adapt to play a new game. Getting mad at a woman because she wants to see other men will do nothing but make her leave faster. Thus, the best way to leave this situation is on your own terms without any animosity.

Please don't count 100% on your girl coming back. While there is a good chance, you never know what can happen. She could meet the guy of her dreams next week and never come back. Life is a barrel of luck. The sooner you start realizing your self-worth as an individual, the quicker you will realize that while you may have loved her, she is not all that important. If she was important then she would stick by you through thick and thin. In this scenario, she's leaving you because "she wants time." Tell her the same.

Excellent advice. I have just recently gone through the same thing as you (gf of 3 years acting distant). I wish i had acted in response to her behavior but i didn't and i ended up getting dumped.

Life is a barrel of luck. The sooner you start realizing your self-worth as an individual, the quicker you will realize that while you may have loved her, she is not all that important. If she was important then she would stick by you through thick and thin. In this scenario, she's leaving you because "she wants time." Tell her the same.

 

[illflytonight]

You are no longer a challenge. And that is the one and only key to keeping a woman infatuated. And challenge can be presented in many forms to a woman. And the best and most natural way to be a challenge is to have your own, independent, exciting life away from her. If you do this, she'll be crazy nuts over you for as long as you like. It's so easy to slide into old habits in an LTR and drop the challenge; that's why it's critical that you living the life you want creates the challenge inherently.

Dump her immediately cause that's what she is going to do as soon as she finds another man to sink her claws into. LOLOLOLOL and her excuse is she wants to be independent. LOL, she wants to be independent from YOU. Drop her now.

maybe Im too much of a challenge and thus giving her too much pressure. at least thats the way i see it. any suggestions?

 

[WC2]

maybe Im too much of a challenge and thus giving her too much pressure. at least thats the way i see it. any suggestions?

Yes, my #1 suggestion is stop living in a fantasy land. You are not "too much" of a challenge. If she is pressured, it's only because she feels smothered by your neediness.

Women don't leave men when they feel challenged. Women leave men when they are bored and want a challenge.

 

[slaog]

maybe Im too much of a challenge and thus giving her too much pressure. at least thats the way i see it. any suggestions?

You called yourself a DJ but IF you were a DJ, do you think you migt have become an AFC during the past 3 years? People get lazy when they're in a relationship and it's possible you slipped into AFC mode.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

She wants to be Independant? :crackup: Get out she is gonna turn into some kind of feminist!!

Let her go...

 

[JimmyBizzle]

Anybody wanna throw some old threads or advice out for this guy, others, or me for that matter about keeping yourself as a challenge in a LTR? I sometimes find myself slipping too, and I wanna make sure I am always on top of things as well.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Anybody wanna throw some old threads or advice out for this guy, others, or me for that matter about keeping yourself as a challenge in a LTR? I sometimes find myself slipping too, and I wanna make sure I am always on top of things as well.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136122