A crushing blow

[slaog]

I'm floored on the canvass with this one.

Date saturday after contacting the girl for a few weeks. The date went brilliant I thought. On the date she said I was everything she expected. I left to go away.

After she text me and I said where was my goofbye kiss. She said she didn't know I liked her and would have loved one. I said to her she was a bit quieter than on the phone and she said it was because she was stunned by my good looks and went on to say I was very hot, everything she expected and where shall we meet next time.

Late that nite and next day we were texting but got nothing today until a few min ago saying she was "busy all day and at a party now and will text me later"! So we all know thats bye bye!

Just really improving lately, improving my self esteem and everything but this is another major setback and I'm kinda depressed over it.

Anybody every come across a flake like this?

 

[speed dawg]

Stop contacting her so much, geez. And NO TEXTING.

I'm not floored. Couldv'e seen it coming from a mile away.

 

[decades]

I am sure many of us would love to exchange our "crushing blows" for this one.

 

[slaog]

Stop contacting her so much, geez. And NO TEXTING.

I'm not floored. Couldv'e seen it coming from a mile away.

The thing is we were in contact for 2 weeks before we met and she was constantly contacting me. She contacts me more but nothing then today.

 

[slaog]

I am sure many of us would love to exchange our "crushing blows" for this one.

Tell me about it so? What happened? I want to know if a similar thing happened anybody else.

 

[Latinoman]

Dude...you are alright. She likes you and she finds you attractive. The problem is that she also has a LIFE outside the dating world. You interrupted her when she was busy and enjoying that other part of her life.

She could have ignored you...but she at least let you know she was busy.

My question is: how long is going to take her to figure out that you are inexperience and insecure?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The thing is we were in contact for 2 weeks before we met and she was constantly contacting me. She contacts me more but nothing then today.

During those two weeks, how many times did she actually call you to talk?

 

[PeeGee]

To put it very nicely, you need a life too. Don't start justifying with me or us that you have one. I'm sure you do. But not enough of one that you need to keep texting her all day.

Anyway, she didn't text you all day except to tell you she was at a party. Who cares?

You're over-reacting.

 

[slaog]

Dude...you are alright. She likes you and she finds you attractive. The problem is that she also has a LIFE outside the dating world. You interrupted her when she was busy and enjoying that other part of her life.

She could have ignored you...but she at least let you know she was busy.

My question is: how long is going to take her to figure out that you are inexperience and insecure?

The thing is she didn't text me all day. Something isn't right and after she complimented me and now this it's really confusing I must say.

She won't know I'm inexperianced and insecure because after her behaviour now I don't care if I don't meet her again. I tend to build people up and then get knocked down although on the date which went well I maintained a high value mindset.

 

[slaog]

During those two weeks, how many times did she actually call you to talk?

Twice. She wanted to call more but I said I hate talking on the phone. She said I sounded sexy but "shy"! I told her I'm quiet because thats the way I was brought up to not speak loudly or the father would have a fit.

To put it very nicely, you need a life too. Don't start justifying with me or us that you have one. I'm sure you do. But not enough of one that you need to keep texting her all day.

Anyway, she didn't text you all day except to tell you she was at a party. Who cares?

You're over-reacting

I do need to get more of a life! I'll admit that. I'm improving though.

I'm over reacting alright but I still think it's over.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Twice. She wanted to call more but I said I hate talking on the phone. She said I sounded sexy but "shy"! I told her I'm quiet because thats the way I was brought up to not speak loudly or the father would have a fit....

So how many times did you say that the two of you should get together instead of talking on the phone, OR TEXTING??

 

[Phyzzle]

I'm guessing you met her online? That's what has everybody confused.

You are in great danger of driving her away if you haven't already. You have met this person once in your life. You say it is "over"? What's over? You're not dating her. And you say it's over because you went about 16 hours without a text? (I don't know, it depends on you time zone.) Women cannot stand a guy she has just met, who cannot go more than a few hours without talking to her.

One other point:

On the date she said I was everything she expected.

Did she really say that all of a sudden? Or did you ask her, "so what do you think of me? Do you like me? Please say you like me." These are insecure questions you should not ask.

 

[Metro3pilot]

"busy all day and at a party now and will text me later"! So we all know thats bye bye!

that's bye bye ? like a mafia sniper It's been my experience you don't hear anything at all ...

 

[slaog]

I appreciate all the replys gentlemen!

So how many times did you say that the two of you should get together instead of talking on the phone, OR TEXTING??

After the date... I didn't mention about getting togethar again.

I'm guessing you met her online? That's what has everybody confused.

You are in great danger of driving her away if you haven't already. You have met this person once in your life. You say it is "over"? What's over? You're not dating her. And you say it's over because you went about 16 hours without a text? (I don't know, it depends on you time zone.) Women cannot stand a guy she has just met, who cannot go more than a few hours without talking to her.

You're right about meeting online. I probably should not have worried as much but can't change it now. Another lesson learned..

She text me back later tonight saying there was nothing wrong with her but she was just busy all day and said to text her later and I said enjoy the party (she is at) and I'll text you tommorrow. If you want you can text me later!

I wasn't desperate for contact I just wanted to know what she was thinking.

Quote:
On the date she said I was everything she expected.

Did she really say that all of a sudden? Or did you ask her, "so what do you think of me? Do you like me? Please say you like me." These are insecure questions you should not ask.

No she said that. I was talking about something completely different. Actually she didn't know I liked her!

 

[WestCoaster]

Tell me about it so? What happened? I want to know if a similar thing happened anybody else.

About a 100 times in my life, OK, maybe not 100, but I'd say 25-30. I have a saying I put here often: A woman could drop you if you likes you, hates you, thinks you're cool or a nerd, or if she has a bad hair day or a good hair day. Why she dropped you doesn't matter because there is no logic.

You have to move on. You fell into a few traps:

1. Texting, e-mailing, anything without a human voice or human contact is going down the AFC road. I know I'm old fashioned, but the new technology has amped up the AFC culture.

2. You didn't have enough other women as backup plans, falling into the oneitis curse.

Why do I know this? Because I've been through it a zillion times.

Your last question: Anybody ever come across a flake like this?

Yep, perhaps more than 30 women like this. The bigger question is has anyone NOT ever come across a flake like this?

Your story is par for the freaking course. You need to know how to handle strange behavior because you'll get more abnormal behavior than normal.

Move on, date others -- otherS, as in "S" as in PLURAL.

 

[thedeparted]

After she text me and I said where was my goofbye kiss.

Maybe she doesn't go for "goofbye" kisses

 

[logic1]

After the date... I didn't mention about getting togethar again

I think here is where you went wrong. This is what left you wondering.

Think how much different it woud have been if you said something like.....I enjoyed your company....blah,blah,blah and will call you Thursday to see what we can set up for next weekend...........period. She would have said OK and Thursday you would have found out how much interest she has when you called.

 

[Jitterbug]

If this is your crushing blow, can I have your life? Sounds like a great one!

Your last question: Anybody ever come across a flake like this?

Yep, perhaps more than 30 women like this. The bigger question is has anyone NOT ever come across a flake like this?

Yeah, unless that person has never tried dating or been living under a rock.

slaog, don't eject just yet. She flaked, but it's because you two barely know each other and she hasn't invested much emotionally in you yet, so you're not a priority in her life. Take your time, get in touch with her again later and see how it goes.

 

[MotownMack]

I'm guessing you met her online? That's what has everybody confused.

I wasn't confused at all, I could tell just by reading the OP that it was an online date, even though it wasn't mentioned.

Yes, this happens ALL the time with online dating, and it's happened to me many times as well. Get used to it-not in a negative way, but that it will get easier once you accept the fact that most online dates will not work out at all.

It wasn't a crushing blow, it just didn't happen. When my online dates don't go the way I want them to, I always say to myself "Well, that didn't work, but I will worry when I am NOT getting dates-that's a REAL problem. A date that didn't work out is just a case of there not being a fit, but at least you know you had the skills to get the girl to go out with you in the first place."

For future reference-I've had some really awesome dates, that for whatever reason, never ended up being a second one. Don't get too excited about a good or bad date.... when you have 2 or 3 dates that go well, then maybe you have something to cheer about. But this another one of those things that is rampant online to-dates that one party thought were great, that went no where.

It will get easier, don't sweat it. And when it does, you will be in control.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

"After the date... I didn't mention about getting togethar again"

I think here is where you went wrong. This is what left you wondering.

Think how much different it woud have been if you said something like.....I enjoyed your company....blah,blah,blah and will call you Thursday to see what we can set up for next weekend...........period. She would have said OK and Thursday you would have found out how much interest she has when you called.

I'm not sure about that... I think not asking to see them again during the date can be a good thing. I did the same thing with a girl this weekend actually. It leaves them wondering.. I think the text might be where he went wrong. I have learned never send a text unless it makes them laugh.. every text I send out now, I get a return text "lol" that means it was a successful text.
Actually, I shouldn't even send those.. no more texting!

Every situation is different.. who the hell knows.