"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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A couple questions

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bud_2005

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Ok there is this girl that I've been dating for a month but I haven't OFFICIALLY asked her to be my girlfriend. Should I officially ask her or should I just assume it. Because I've seen times when the girl gets mad because the guy hasn't asker her to by her gf.

Today we talked on phone for about a hour and a half and then she told me to get on MSN later tonight. I told her I would get on but I don't think I should to be a little bit of a challenge. No harm in this right?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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bud_2005

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Another question, when she asks tomorrow why I didn't get on MSN what should I say. I think I'll just say I was too tired but if there is anything better to say please tell me.
 
F

Fenderules

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is she shy? if not wait til she brings it up. She will eventually get annoyed taht you havent brought it up and will do it herself unless she is insecure shy.


I guess if you had to bring it up....do it in a ****y way. Dont be like "i guess we are bf and gf" do soemthing differnt that were throw her off guard so you are DIFFERENT from other men and for go sakes dont do it in a pathetic way.


and you shoulda said in the first place "i might be on later" but you already said yes. personally maby you should go on and be like "well if you want to talk to me so bad, i guess you better phone me so you can here my sexy voice..."
 
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Lifeforce

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If she likes you she'll not care how you ask her or if you don't. Do what you please, if you hang out steadily like that then you are GF/BF.
 
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squirrels

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Originally posted by bud_2005
Ok there is this girl that I've been dating for a month but I haven't OFFICIALLY asked her to be my girlfriend. Should I officially ask her or should I just assume it. Because I've seen times when the girl gets mad because the guy hasn't asker her to by her gf.

Today we talked on phone for about a hour and a half and then she told me to get on MSN later tonight. I told her I would get on but I don't think I should to be a little bit of a challenge. No harm in this right?
Click to expand...
I would just act as if, and let her "ask" and "make it official." But don't ASSUME it until it's been discussed.

And stop spending so much time on MSN and the phone. You're interested in HER, not in words she puts on a screen or in her phone voice.

An hour and a half is ridiculous. :p
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Climax

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The right way...

I was once in a similar situation... what u should do is after a romantic date/evening with her say to her: " I know that we are like bf and gf, but i thought that i would just make it official tonight (grin/smile at her while looking her in the eye's) so will u be my gf (her name)? " She will probably smile and be overjoyed and say something along the lines of "yes"(doh!) and then the 2 of u can cuddle and do whatever u wanna do. Afer asking her the mood will change abit and it will feel even more close and romantic. ( On this night having sex/making love to her would be ideal, as you will have all the passion that is needed, and more;) )

Well... thats what i would recommend you do.... but watever u do, i wish you the best of luck:)

Laterz...
 
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ego

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"By the way; my friend asked me if you and I are together now as boyfriend and girlfriend. Are we?"

or

"My friend asked me if you were my girlfriend. Are you?"

or

"My friend asked me if I were your boyfriend. Am I?"

You get the idea.

:)


She'll probably go something like:

"errrhmm... yeah, maybe... :)"


And you can reply:

"Yeah... let's say you are / I am / We are"


:)
 
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Climax

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Re: Re: A couple questions

Originally posted by squirrels
I would just act as if, and let her "ask" and "make it official." But don't ASSUME it until it's been discussed.

And stop spending so much time on MSN and the phone. You're interested in HER, not in words she puts on a screen or in her phone voice.

An hour and a half is ridiculous. :p
Click to expand...
Letting her bring it up or "make it fficial" might look bad on ur side... she might think that u dont really care about her if u dont care to bring it up... and also, a guy might come out as shy or unconfident if he does not bring this up... So i cant say that i agree with you on this 1 squirrels.

On the other hand, i DO agree that
bud_2005 should spend alot less time on the phone and internet with this girl.

bud_2005: This is not good for many reasons, I'll mention a few...

1) You will talk about everything that there is to talk about on the internet and on the phone and then when u see her in person there wont be anything interesting to talk about, therefore making ur company somewhat "boring" in her eye's, and visa versa.

2) A relationship where u speak to a girl more on the phone on on chat programms is just not the right way to go about being in a relationship... u need to BE WITH the person, u need to be able to touch then and actually SEE them (and a web-can doesnt count:p ) So instead of spending all that time on the internet chatting to her, or on the phone to her, rather go out for dinner somewhere etc.

3) I am not saying that u musnt spk to her on the chat lines at all, or that u must speak with her on the phone at all... I am just saying that u need to make sure that u spend more time with her in person rather than on the phone or chatting to her. A phonecall for 1 and a half hours is way too long, i'm not saying thats its bad once in a while, but i would way rather be speaking to her in person for that 1 and a half hours, wouldnt you? So try make the phonecalls more like 10 minutes max, and chatting with her on the chat programms shouldnt take too long... i mean... if u are gonna be sitting in fron of ur computer and she doing the same would be stupid if the 2 of u could be sitting at a table facing eachother and "chatting";)

On the other hand... if it is not in your ability to actually SEE her and chat to her in person, THEN chatting online would be ok i guess, but you DO need to try and make more effort in actually spking to her in person alot more.

So overall...

1) Ask her out / ask her to be your gf

2) Try spend more time with her IN PERSON ( and make sure that u are spening more time with her in person than on the phone/chatline)

3) If you are unable to see her in person, then u need to make more effort to seeing her in person.

Goodluck.;)
 
C

Climax

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Originally posted by ego
"By the way; my friend asked me if you and I are together now as boyfriend and girlfriend. Are we?"

or

"My friend asked me if you were my girlfriend. Are you?"

or

"My friend asked me if I were your boyfriend. Am I?"

You get the idea.

:)


She'll probably go something like:

"errrhmm... yeah, maybe... :)"


And you can reply:

"Yeah... let's say you are / I am / We are"


:)
Click to expand...
No.... this is a wrong approach....

You need to show that u are in command, and not reply on her to answer that question, u need to take control and just be blunt with her, not try and wiggle the answer out of her, this might also put her in an arkward position because she wont know WHAT to answer to that, this will make the whole vibe arkward.

ego: a nice idea, but in this case, its not the right thing to do.;)

Laterz....
 
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bud_2005

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Yeah I should have told you guys that she lives in different town from me about 50 miles away so I can't just see her whenever I want.

I also agree that asking her if we are a couple is not the way to go because it put's her in control.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Climax

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thanx for that...

Yeah I should have told you guys that she lives in different town from me about 50 miles away so I can't just see her whenever I want.
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lol..... yeah... thanx for that....

hmm.... Well... How often do you see her as it is?

Otherwise.... how old are you? Can u drive yet? 50 miles is about an hour drive right? so of u CAN drive then i guess going to see her 2 or 3 times a week would be a good idea. ;)

If you are not able to drive yet then can your mom or dad not take u to go see her once or twice a week?

If not, then could u not catch a bus to where she lives?

All this worls both ways though... just like u need to go out of your way to go to HER, she need to also go out of HER way to see YOU. So if your parents took u to her once a week, and her parents took her to you once a week thats already 2 times a week. Then on week-ends u can go sleep over at eachother.

Otherwise she can ask her parents to drop her off somewhere like the mall or a resteraunt where the 2 of you could meet up and spend time with eachother and go on dates.

There are so many things that you could do to spend more time with eachother, u might just have to put a little more effort into it given your current situation, and i know that its alot harder to have a gf when u dont have your own car/house etc, but its still VERY do-able. All u need is the commitment and the will power to do it, and u will be able to.



I also agree that asking her if we are a couple is not the way to go because it put's her in control.
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Exactly;)

Well.... I think i covered everything, so i hope that all goes well for you, and i will be looking forward to hearing what happens...

Laterz...
 
C

catch

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i think you should make the moment special too,

you wouldnt just cassually ask your gf to marry u, or just assume that shes your wife,
so you should in a way make it like a proposal, romantic an all..

she will probably appreciate this loads more, an love the fact that you are not shy, youve got the balls to do it and most of all
youve made it special..
goodluck tho.. catch
 
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