A comment that confirms all you guys been Preachin'..

[ChaoticGamer]

A female friend of mine, who has an incredibly high IQ(among top students in her country), and is a model(Yeah, believe me, this girl exists!) recently told me that I shouldn't be discouraged by a woman's early rejections, she said in quote: "Persist Correctly and in time She will end up Loving you because one ends up with the guy one least expected".
She also said that all it takes is not to be needy, or become angry when things at first don't go as expected...

What would be the best way to adopt that kind of attitude? I tend to be a defeatist even when I get the slightest hint of rejection from a girl, and always fail when tryin' to act with energy with someone I like and end up looking like the needy/desperate kinda guy...

 

[Latinoman]

A female friend of mine, who has an incredibly high IQ(among top students in her country), and is a model(Yeah, believe me, this girl exists!) recently told me that I shouldn't be discouraged by a woman's early rejections, she said in quote: "Persist Correctly and in time She will end up Loving you because one ends up with the guy one least expected".
She also said that all it takes is not to be needy, or become angry when things at first don't go as expected...

What would be the best way to adopt that kind of attitude? I tend to be a defeatist even when I get the slightest hint of rejection from a girl, and always fail when tryin' to act with energy with someone I like and end up looking like the needy/desperate kinda guy...

Fact is...having a "high IQ" and being some sack of bones (e.g. "model") means nothing when it comes to attracting people.

 

[JC9]

What would be the best way to adopt that kind of attitude? I tend to be a defeatist even when I get the slightest hint of rejection from a girl, and always fail when tryin' to act with energy with someone I like and end up looking like the needy/desperate kinda guy...

Stop caring. The outcome really isn't that important. You ask a girl out and you either have a date or your no worse off than before you asked. It's not like a girl is going to punch you in the face if you ask her out.

One of the seduction guys, I think Gunwitch, said be process oriented and not results oriented. Enjoy talking and flirting with girls, then asking them for a number or date becomes an afterthought of the interaction.

 

[flippinfreak]

lol, She has a high IQ, if you say that, than you think it is higher than your own. If you think that, than guess what, shes training you to be an AFC

No reall, she said be persistent and don't be a little ***** that runs away when somebody says no to you.

 

[ChaoticGamer]

Yeah, I Do understand completely that Philosophically all aspects of Life Flow naturally if you're constantly thinking about the moment. In others words, living in the present with no conscience of future or past which means no Objectives as you stated. But since I have never been successful in gettin' a girl sexually attracted to me. It is hard not to think of a reward for my efforts.
And yes, I do know that what I will get from the process is experience about 'How to'. Quite honestly I think that's too damn slow, and consequently builds up in my low-self-asteem. I wanna become a Master A.S.A.p. !

 

[ChaoticGamer]

Hell Yeah, I have to admit, She does have a Higher IQ than Mine. She's the top student at her college, and has a deep view of most things, I always rely on her for this kind of advice because she's also Beautiful as well.
And Excuse my ignorance, what Do you mean by sayin' she's training me to be an AFC. Don't know what AFC stands for(new to this forum).

And yeah, she said exactly that, Be persistent but don't be overly needy....

 

[flippinfreak]

Good job on a catchy title.

To become a master ASAP you need to make mistakes, fast and hard so your affectual memory creates connections in your mind that create your subconcious thoughts.

Just keep persisting, over and over and over again. Make sure you ask and let emotions flow so you know when is the right time and the wrong time to persist.

she said in quote: "Persist Correctly and in time She will end up Loving you because one ends up with the guy one least expected".

She said persist correctly, we say that as well. Your not going to get anywhere by ASKING which is the right way to persist, because asking is the total opposite, it's waiting. Just go off and persist, and when she turns you away, persist, when she rejects you, make her tell you why. Swear to yourself to keep it in mind for the next girl you persist with...

She didn't say anything about oneitis did she? That would be something good to ask her about. Ask her about obsession over one girl, and how to persist correctly when you believe you are absolutely right and see what she says to you.

 

[ChaoticGamer]

First of all, I am truthfully amazed at what you have to say about my problems Because with little info You were able to decipher an aspect of mine that is probably a HUGE issue when I try to get a girl. and that is, the ONEitis thing. You see, when I approach a girl is because I am totally attracted to her, and when they respond to me I tend to Create Great expectations, in a second I tend to picture a girl I like as my wife; and even worse I also expect her to show interest and give clear signals. and when that doesn't happen I sink myself into depression and don't want to know anything about her anymore. Is this bad? Is this what you're referrring as ONEitis? What would be the cure?

Please Do say what AFC means....

 

[JC9]

Read the DJ Bible, it will answer all your basic questions: http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Then do the bootcamp mentioned on that same page and you'll stop worrying about rejection from women or focusing on one.

Even if you could somehow land the girl you were obsessing over, the reality of her wouldn't even come close to the image you had built up in your head so it would suck anyway.

 

[il_duce]

AFC = Average Frustrated Chump

An AFC is a needy, spineless wimp. Girls often refer to them as "nice guys".

However, there IS a difference between being a GENUINELY nice guy, and just a "nice guy". A GENUINELY nice guy will be completely open and natural around women, and he won't try to win their approval. Girls like this type of nice guy.

But a "nice guy", the AFC type, is just another polite term for being a selfish, approval-seeking chump. Girls don't like this type.

If you've discovered that you're an AFC, you need to look inside yourself. You probably have low self-esteem. And you must realize that you are good enough as a person, and you don't need approval from others. Once you realize that, you will be completely calm and confident around women, and you will be naturally C&F, and you will know exactly what to say without even thinking about it.

It may take a while to get to this point if you already have low self-esteem, but once you get there, your troubles with women will be over. More importantly, your life will improve drastically in other areas as well.

 

[ChaoticGamer]

Damn, I'm a f******* AFC. and a "Nice Guy". and always seeking for approval... wish there was a cure for this Nightmare, like a pill, that when taken will make things turn 180 degrees.
I have already read the DJ Bible, but it is too theorically long. I wish masters like yourselves would give some quick pointers on how to get myself out of this kind of particular wrong behavior that will lead to suicide. I just don't get it when it comes to generate attraction.
Thanks

 

[KillingTime]

You have to stop focusing on WOMEN though. You know, it's about yourself.
When I first came here I tried to apply all the rules and all the BS, I ended up super confident but still just as obsessed with women as I was before, and that's what I see in a lot of people here.
It took a lot of work and messing up etc. but I'm finally at the point right now (at 21) where I finally think I have a good grasp on things. I could go without sex for years right now, I don't care all that much... I've found things that bring me joy in life, I'm finally happy with ME. If I were to stay single for the rest of my life I could actually be ok with it.
It's hard to explain, I just have such a different perspective on life lately... you know, we're all going to end up dead no matter what and that just puts everything into focus for me. When you think about it that way NOTHING matters, no WOMAN matters. It's at that point that I started to focus on myself and on enjoying life, now I feel free.

I'm rambling but yea, they key IMO is to focus on yourself. Too many guys here are confident and outgoing etc. but their world still revolves around women, which is rather sad.

 

[il_duce]

Damn, I'm a f******* AFC. and a "Nice Guy". and always seeking for approval... wish there was a cure for this Nightmare, like a pill, that when taken will make things turn 180 degrees.
I have already read the DJ Bible, but it is too theorically long. I wish masters like yourselves would give some quick pointers on how to get myself out of this kind of particular wrong behavior that will lead to suicide. I just don't get it when it comes to generate attraction.
Thanks

LOL. One thing I can tell you, is that we aren't "masters". It wasn't too long ago that I was in the exact same position as you. And I am still making mistakes, and learning from them, even now.

The DJ Bible has some good information, but it doesn't attack the root of the problem. Anyone on this site who has had trouble with women in the past, for whatever reason...deep down, the core issue for EVERYONE, is low self-esteem. It doesn't matter how much C&F you use, or what routines you run, if you don't value yourself as a person, nobody else will either.

KillingTime is right. The focus needs to be on yourself, not on others. Don't seek your approval from others! Get it from within yourself. Know that you are good enough as a person.

There are no quick fixes to this. It is a long process, depending on how much you got down on yourself in the past. But you take it step by step.

Now, I'm not usually the one to do this, but for you I would strongly suggest that you go to the website http://www.ideagasms.com and sign up for the newsletter. It's free. I don't work for him, and I have nothing to gain from this. But he does a really good job of explaining this, in detail. Some of the stuff on his website is kinda weird, new-age stuff, but his wisdom on relationships is priceless.

Good luck, and remember that all change has to start from the inside out.

 

[Charm]

ChaoticGamer, ditch this chicks advice. She is keeping you in AFC land because she knows she can outsmart you. Listen to the DJ bible and quit wasting time with this supersmart model chick.

 

[CompleteControl]

A female friend of mine, who has an incredibly high IQ(among top students in her country), and is a model(Yeah, believe me, this girl exists!) recently told me that I shouldn't be discouraged by a woman's early rejections, she said in quote: "Persist Correctly and in time She will end up Loving you because one ends up with the guy one least expected".
She also said that all it takes is not to be needy, or become angry when things at first don't go as expected...

What would be the best way to adopt that kind of attitude? I tend to be a defeatist even when I get the slightest hint of rejection from a girl, and always fail when tryin' to act with energy with someone I like and end up looking like the needy/desperate kinda guy...

Who cares about her IQ or that she is a model? There are 3 kinds of woman - women you have sex with, woman you don't, and women you use to help you have sex with other women(i.e. pivot).

Lesson 1: Stop putting women on a pedestal!

That said, her advice is correct - to a point. You (and others here) are just too AFC to understand. Whether you are persistent or not is irrelevant. If you get rejected you can try again later - as long as you are not needy or desperate. I have slept with woman who have rejected me for the following reasons - they had bf's, they had husbands, they just wanted to be friends, I wasn't their type and they said I was the biggest jerk they ever met. However, you do tend to need fairly advanced skills to pull some of this off. You also have to be very careful not to develop "oneitis".

Lesson 2: Woman are not attracted to men who are needy or desperate!

Lesson 3: Cool, confident men who "get" women are not upset, angry or disappointed by a girl who does not accept their advance because there is another woman who wants them right around the corner. I honestly believe it is a womans loss if she doesn't have the good sense to jump at the opportunity to be with me.

Look at Juggler Method and how he handles girls who rebuff an SOI.

Lesson 4: Confidently handling rejection or "tests" can be attractive to women.

Most important first step in recovering from AFCism:

Lesson 5: Do Not Supplicate! Never, ever, ever think how can I make her happy, what can I do for her, with her or give her so she will like me. Instead become the cool, confident, exciting kind of man that women can't help but be drawn to. Find out what makes you happy and passionate about life and do it unapologetically. Then let women please you so that they can be a part of your life.