A College Acquaintance (Help Needed)

[TVeye]

Happy weekend to all!

A month ago, a college acquaintance of 2 years had begun to show interest in me (due to us finally having a lengthy conversation, I believe). Last week, after being told by another classmate that this particular girl was interested in me, I asked her to meet me for a drink in-between classes at the campus bar. She quickly agreed (didn't even let me finish asking her). The next day, I found a table at the bar and sent her a text message a few minutes before I expected her, informing her that I was at a table. She sent me a text message a few minutes later:

"Aw! I totally forgot! I can't make it "

I didn't reply to her text and have not contacted her since then (4 days). Today, for the first time since the day of our failed drink date, she commented on a few of my Facebook posts (asking me a question on one) but did not mention her failure to make our drink date.

What should be my next step? I would like to ignore her for a while (or until she brings up the drink date). She is a really nice, shy, smart girl and I don't believe she had negative intentions...but maybe I'm wrong. How should I proceed?

Many thanks!

 

[runner83]

2 STRIKES RULE:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154043

Give her one more chance.

And this time, don't arrange to meet her at the campus bar in between classes. How are you going to escalate and get her away somewhere to bang her brains out in that scenario if you two hit it off?

Best thing to do is arrange to meet up AT NIGHT for a few drinks, preferably somewhere off campus.

Also, any girl you want for something other than a friend (and who you haven't banged yet), avoid wherever possible interacting with her on facebook.

 

[trrush]

she didn't forget. She ditched you for something else, who knows what.
she didnt apologize either from the looks of it.
you didn't call her out on her ditching you, so now you're letting her know that's acceptable for her to do to you.
No contact might work if she has higher interest than you, but i doubt it'll work well this time.

 

[TVeye]

And this time, don't arrange to meet her at the campus bar in between classes. How are you going to escalate and get her away somewhere to bang her brains out in that scenario if you two hit it off?

Best thing to do is arrange to meet up AT NIGHT for a few drinks, preferably somewhere off campus.

Haha. My intentions were to have a drink and chat for 30 minutes AND THEN ask her to join me for a movie, dinner, and drinks on the weekend.

Should I continue to ignore her? If so, for how long? I do not have a class with her this semester, so the only time I have contact with her is through planned social gatherings (nothing scheduled at the moment) and text/phone call/Facebook/Twitter.

Thanks

 

[TVeye]

Haha. My intentions were to have a drink and chat for 30 minutes AND THEN ask her to join me for a movie, dinner, and drinks on the weekend.

Should I continue to ignore her? If so, for how long? I do not have a class with her this semester, so the only time I have contact with her is through planned social gatherings (nothing scheduled at the moment) and text/phone call/Facebook/Twitter.

Thanks

Bump

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Runner gave you spot on advice.

Obviously the fact that she said "I forgot" doesn't seem like a good sign any way you slice it.

However, things do come up in life and the fact that you say she's shy might be playing into it as well.

Bottom line: Ask her out again, at NIGHT and try and give her at least a day or two notice. Preferably pick a weeknight so there's a good chance that she's free. Give her a couple days that you a free and if she can't make either, doesn't counter offer or agrees and forgets again, then you know that she's not interested enough.

I've noticed a lot of you guys panic way too fast on this board and then look for some magic bullet method. Ignoring a girl or "no contact" only works if she has extremely high interest in you. Doesn't sound like this girl has extremely high interest yet, because she barely knows you.

Suck it up, ask her out again, don't even mention anything about the first time and go from there.





PIMP

 

[vatoloco]

A month ago, a college acquaintance of 2 years had begun to show interest in me (due to us finally having a lengthy conversation, I believe).

Why are you having a "lengthy conversation" with someone who's NOT in an exclusive, LTR with you!?

Last week, after being told by another classmate that this particular girl was interested in me

3rd party hearsay. Not to be trusted.

I asked her to meet me for a drink in-between classes at the campus bar. She quickly agreed (didn't even let me finish asking her). The next day, I found a table at the bar and sent her a text message a few minutes before I expected her, informing her that I was at a table. She sent me a text message a few minutes later:

"Aw! I totally forgot! I can't make it "

Of course she couldn't! She didn't dig you enough to keep her word.

I didn't reply to her text and have not contacted her since then (4 days). Today, for the first time since the day of our failed drink date, she commented on a few of my Facebook posts (asking me a question on one) but did not mention her failure to make our drink date.

Of course she's not gonna bring it up! She's counting on you not having balls and giving her a 2nd (and 3rd, 4th and 17th) chance! In the meantime, she's just gonna use you for cheap/free entertainment whenever she's bored and/or is not getting fucked by some guy she really digs.

Once you come to your senses, you'll have lost time, money and effort on a woman who doesn't like you.

What should be my next step?

To next this chick. What she did to you was extremely disrespectful. If you like being disrespected, by all means keep "begging" her to see you. She's just gonna mislead you and eventually LJBF you and/or try to keep you as an orbiter.

Your call, man. I'd just next her.

 

[GrimReapaLifeEnda]

Use it as leverage...tell her you don't usually do so, but you'll give her a chance to make it up to you. If she likes you, she WILL make it up to you.

 

[TVeye]

Thanks for the responses...

UPDATE:

I bumped into the girl at the campus coffee shop and she joined me for coffee. I had planned to leave her within 10-15 minutes but we ended up chatting for an hour (a good, fun, energetic conversation in which I let her talk about herself, with me throwing in a few comments about myself every so often). I told her I had to get back to work and asked her out (for this weekend). She seemed excited/happy but then I sensed a bit of conflict. Then, she said "The thing is...I work on the weekends." She then left in a hurry.

Now, because that was "strike 2," I would next any other girl, but she has high LTR potential (more than any of the women I've met during the last 3-4 years). Thoughts?

Thanks again, guys

 

[TVeye]

Thanks for the responses...

UPDATE:

I bumped into the girl at the campus coffee shop and she joined me for coffee. I had planned to leave her within 10-15 minutes but we ended up chatting for an hour (a good, fun, energetic conversation in which I let her talk about herself, with me throwing in a few comments about myself every so often). I told her I had to get back to work and asked her out (for this weekend). She seemed excited/happy but then I sensed a bit of conflict. Then, she said "The thing is...I work on the weekends." She then left in a hurry.

Now, because that was "strike 2," I would next any other girl, but she has high LTR potential (more than any of the women I've met during the last 3-4 years). Thoughts?

Thanks again, guys

 

[TVeye]

Bumpity bump