A Call To DJs (On falling interest level)

[SageOFAllenAge]

(Didnt find anything on the search forum function on this)
(Im the guy who asked the girl to watch casablanca & thought it was an AFC error)

Yet Another case of sudden falling of the girl's Interest level, I attributed the previous one to the fact i was too heavy on humour & too low on initiative or being decisive enough, but this time around i didnt repeat my mistakes and struck balance. All was well until fewer calls were taken or returned and the communication gap widened. I began to get a sense of De ja vu, After all the wisdom ive gained from this site i fail to know what is causing this, so perhaps people who've been through this would enlighten me or direct me to a link which would. For now i will start a dedicated journey to self improvement, which is the one positive thing that has come out of this.

ive learned - If we've been single for most of our lives, singledom is a state of normalcy which we return to when things dont work out, so theres no reason to be disheartened.

 

[rgeere]

You win some you lose some. Don't be so down on yourself; everyone has dissapointments.

 

[Dirtheart]

The best advice I've come across for falling IL is to take a leap of faith and back off. When a girl's interest level falls, it can be very tempting to try and win it back, but ironically that's the surest way to drive her further away. So when the interest level drops, you have to drop your interest level a little lower than her's (or at least make it appear that way).

This will result in one of two things: her IL will rise and she'll start making the advances, or you will lose her. However, if you're losing her anyway, you've just saved yourself a lot of hassle and humiliation.

Just remember, people with low self-esteem are clingy and needy, while those with high self-esteem believe they have many options to explore and are less dependable.

When a woman's IL drops, it's often because her ego is growing, so back off and stop feeding it.

 

[SageOFAllenAge]

I got a problem with overanalysing situations

& I appreciate the advice, you guys use MSN messenger ?

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
The best advice I've come across for falling IL is to take a leap of faith and back off. When a girl's interest level falls, it can be very tempting to try and win it back, but ironically that's the surest way to drive her further away. So when the interest level drops, you have to drop your interest level a little lower than her's (or at least make it appear that way).

This will result in one of two things: her IL will rise and she'll start making the advances, or you will lose her. However, if you're losing her anyway, you've just saved yourself a lot of hassle and humiliation.

Just remember, people with low self-esteem are clingy and needy, while those with high self-esteem believe they have many options to explore and are less dependable.

When a woman's IL drops, it's often because her ego is growing, so back off and stop feeding it.

This post is absolutely golden... and I've been guilty of this a few times as well.

 

[RedZone122]

the problem is oneitis - back off and find another temporary girl

 

[xblitz44x]

You failed to know what's causing this because you can't just assume that what is "too clingy" to one girl, is "too clingy" to every girl after that. Some women LIKE the attention, some girls will be turned off from it, some will be unphased by it. Some girls think flowers are adorable and will crawl up your ass for it, some girls will be turned off by it because they see that you're doing it just for her approval. It ALWAYS depends on the female in question.

So, you can read from an online bible on how you SHOULD act and become a robot, carrying out commands for a woman's approval, in hopes that somehow it's going to *magically* become your 'natural personality'....

OR

You can be who you are, figure out WHY you need the woman's approval enough to change your entire behavior around just to get it. When you've done this, you can have fun and ENJOY yourself. You can do what you want, say what you want, and act how you would without having to worry about whether it follows "The Bible" or not.

The man who changes his entire personality in order to gain approval of a woman is no less an AFC than the guy who's behavior already is geared towards gaining that same approval. Be YOU. And love it.

 

[SageOFAllenAge]

I spoke to her again & i sense shes playing mind games with me to see, how much she can get me to want her.

Ive already had one oneitis experience & its enough to last me a lifetime, i was just worried that i had some falling IL curse

I get the 'have fun & enjoy yourself' part im just relatively new to the game & im already getting a lot of attention from girls i know.

Good advice Dirtheart.

 

[ToughGuy]

Good Advice Dirtheart.
Completely Agree with you.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Here is a principle that you must learn to follow, at least on a basic level.

"We pursue that which runs away from us."
Also, "Guys take 5 minutes to be ready for sex, women take 15 minutes, so hold back for 20 minutes and she'll be chasing you for 5."

Basically, if you are attracted to a girl you begin by approaching. If the girl moves back, you move back, and if she moves forward you move forward.

More precisely, if a girl's interest is falling the best thing to do is back off a bit.

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

i disagree

this guys says everything was going fine, he was balancing the techniques.

The backing off is when the techniques arent working, and are making her loose interest (or sometimes to spike IL, making her miss the exhilirating rush)

it seems like to me, what is going on here is that this guy is moving TOO slow.

being with a girl is like doing a loop in an airplane. there is a definite PROGRESSION, things go slow.. then faster..and faster and faster, faster FASTER, oh gaaaawd FASTER!


if you dont keep going with the pace youve set... you stay stuck on the same "level" of the relationship, your plane will stall, and start to fall.

you will loose interest level.

You need to pick up the pace, and go at the pace you've set while you met her.

I dunno the situation well enough though...and im sleepy as hell...so ill revise this in the morning. hehe

 

[DJ Alejandro]

the magic word, my friend..



DETACHMENT.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Raptured, that is also a possibility.

It's impossible to get all the little nuances in the situaion correct based solely on words....