"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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A Better Analogy

Unbridled_Phoenix

Master Don Juan
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Gentlemen,

In my pursuit of excellence, I have often referred to Anti-Dump's "free as a bird" analogy when directing my mental traffic. Truly, it is a highly effective metaphor and describes perfectly the attitude and energy that a man should cultivate on his journey. However, call it intellectual vanity or what you will, I have struggled with the vernacular of his theory; I have trouble thinking of myself as a bird singing in a tree. So, I have crafted a more masculine yet equally effective metaphor: the Stallion.

No where else in nature is the distinction between "Alpha" and "Beta" as obvious as when you are looking at horses. There are mules, ponies, mares, colts, quarterhorses, and then there is the Stallion. For the Stallion, there is no contentious debate, no struggle for power, and no frustrated ambitions. By the very nature of what he is, he has no equals. He is larger than life; he literally towers over all the other horses, and his body is a shredded masterpiece carved in black granite. He is commanding officer and bodyguard at the same time. All the other horses look up to him as a giant Hero. In the old days, any cowboy who could throw a lasso could take down a horse, but it took three strong and determined men to capture the Stallion. And of course, he always has first dibs on breeding rights.

So for me, that's the new mental picture: a big, beautiful black stallion running at a wide-open gallop across the desert at night, the sheen of his coat glowing in the moonlight, his muscles rippling like water. He is uncatchable, unstoppable, insatiable, and he is the thing females dream of.

I took this thought with me into the gym today and it was incredibly motivating. That's what I'm creating, the ultimate Stallion...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Unbridled_Phoenix

Master Don Juan
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I'm allowing you to use your imagination to fill in the gaps. Obviously, the human equivalent of the Stallion has more details to his credit. The Stallion leaves details to the mules.

The irony of my conclusion vs. screen name was not lost on me, however I was compelled to share it anyway. It's a motivational thread, take it or leave it, but overanalyzing and attempting to tear it apart for some nerdy "victory" is awfully "Beta" as you would no doubt say.
 
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