A Beneficial Marriage

[abe0]

What do you know at 22?

We were engaged 6 years both working on our careers and in college before getting married. Work on yourself...get established ...before you get married.
You want to make sure that the reason she is smiling as she walks down the isle is because she respects you as a man and not because that's the last blow job she will ever give you.
Best, Abe

 

[JoeMarron]

Would you hand over your life to this woman, put it completely in her hands and give her the absolute ability to destroy you without any repercussions.

Also your reason to get married isn't that good, like others have said your giving marriage a weak name - starting in on what seems like a weak/unknown/shaky foundation.

Say you get married, what's gonna happen when trouble arises? Your family seems to have a strong say in what you do and they don't seem all that understanding if they are making you marry her and live elsewhere without the option of just living together and maturing your relationship.

Do you guys have any experience living and fending for yourselves? What about friends? Being around each other 24/7 might make you want to kill each other ... Just saying, it can happen to the best of us.

Your idea isn't doomed from the get-go, you just need to think about a bit more. Do you really trust this woman? Are you prepared to live on your own with her? What's your plan for college? What are your backup plans? How do you plan on defeating sh1t that happens.

I don't see how my life could be destroyed by her. I can still pursue my bachelors and in the event of a failed marriage continue to do that with no progress lost. I don't understand what you mean by giving marriage a weak name. Sure I love her but this isn't about happily ever after/till death do us part marriage fairy tale bliss. This is simply a strategic move on my part, being in an environment that'll make it easier to get myself established. Things like us not being able to stand being around each other 24/7 is irrelevant because there is nothing stopping me from ending the marriage if I see its not working out. Yes I trust her, she checks out on everything I believe a quality woman should have. However she could be a complete BDP nutcase and it wouldn't matter because I'm not chained to the marriage like a dude who's the sole breadwinner and has kids. Like PlayHer Man said the real test of her character begins when I'm the one making the most money. I'll have to watch to see if she stays on her best behavior. She's behaved like a model GF throughout the relationship. If she continues this behavior throughout the marriage and then years later screws me over then I feel I deserve it for not seeing the signs a long time ago.

We were engaged 6 years both working on our careers and in college before getting married. Work on yourself...get established ...before you get married.
You want to make sure that the reason she is smiling as she walks down the isle is because she respects you as a man and not because that's the last blow job she will ever give you.
Best, Abe

You could say I'm doing it backwards then. Lol if its the last blow job I'm getting then it'll be a short marriage. Imagine yourself 6 years ago working on your career and school, living with your wife who's handling the financial burden, freeing you to pursue whatever path you desired in a stress free environment. This is the point I'm trying to make. If things work out between us...great. If not then oh well, I'll move on with my life.

I really appreciate the advice guys. It may sound like I'm completely for the marriage but I'm really just playing devil's advocate. I'd like to explore every possible argument and counter argument before I make my decision.

 

[GetFit66]

In the event of it failing, if you can continue pursing your career/college life with no time wasted, then I think it's a good bet as long as your open with her and both of you understand what your getting into.

I don't see how your families would let you guys sacrifice marriage easily for college, I would guess it would be time consuming with them on your backs. And if she understands that college is your first priority and not the marriage then all should be fine. Otherwise you could be heading into hell.

Enjoy, hope this helps.

 

[JoeMarron]

In the event of it failing, if you can continue pursing your career/college life with no time wasted, then I think it's a good bet as long as your open with her and both of you understand what your getting into.

I don't see how your families would let you guys sacrifice marriage easily for college, I would guess it would be time consuming with them on your backs. And if she understands that college is your first priority and not the marriage then all should be fine. Otherwise you could be heading into hell.

Enjoy, hope this helps.

I know I implied that my family has a lot of influence in what I do but its really not that extreme. They would understand if things didn't work out and if they didn't it doesn't matter. I would never let them run my life to that degree. Thanks for the advice. If anyone else has anything to add feel free to do so. I have some thinking to do...

 

[GetFit66]

Can you put me on your will ?