"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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A 21st century first date?

OnTheWayUp

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Something pretty odd happened to me and one of my wingmen this week. On Tuesday, I met this girl at a party who I had spoken to once before. She was giving me millions of IOIs, isolating herself from her friends, coming to find me rather than the other way round, asking me if there was an after party etc. It was pretty darn obvious she wanted me. So, after the party, we went back to her place... and she didn't want to do it! Really strange: we made out, groped and fingered each other a bit, but no more. She had her period (I saw the tampon), so fair play, but even so I would have thought she would have done oral. We spent the night together and talked a lot, but nothing more happened.

Pretty much exactly the same thing happened to one of my wingmen last night. He took a girl home, having made out with her extensively on the dance floor, but she didn't want to do anything serious the first time. So again, they slept together without "sleeping together," if that makes sense.

Is this a new form of "first date" that girls are doing these days? Taking guys home and getting to know them a bit- but in bed?! Anyone else experienced this as well?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Iceberg

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OnTheWayUp said:
Is this a new form of "first date" that girls are doing these days? Taking guys home and getting to know them a bit- but in bed?! Anyone else experienced this as well?
I wouldn't say that it's new.

Girls have always had that instinct to attempt to withhold sex....they think it makes them look like a better prospect.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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You fingered a girl on her period. Wow...
 

Iceberg

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PrettyBoyAJ said:
You fingered a girl on her period. Wow...
I'm thinking that he probably rubber her cl1t. I doubt (hope) that he didn't stick anything in there.
 

OnTheWayUp

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Haha, obviously my lack of experience with girls shows in this post! I guess what surprised me was that these girls were prepared to sleep in the same bed as me and my friend without having sex. It would have been less surprising if the girls had withheld sex and then thrown us out of their rooms. It was the fact that there seemed to be an effort to get to know us - but in bed! - that was striking for me and my friend. The one I was with actually told me to stay over.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DJDamage

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OnTheWayUp said:
I guess what surprised me was that these girls were prepared to sleep in the same bed as me and my friend without having sex. It would have been less surprising if the girls had withheld sex and then thrown us out of their rooms.
It would have been better for you if the latter happened instead of being a cuddle b1tch for the rest of the night.

Next time a girl tries to pull this sh1t on you, leave her place without spending the night.
 

Allurre

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Nothing wrong with a woman resisting sex, especially when they first meet you.

Women with more self-respect and quality will try preserve their social value, and protect themselves from being hurt. They only want to sleep with guys who is genuinely interested in them, not just for one night lays.

It's a test of patience, and you should never be affected by it.

On another note, you may have not escalated correctly, therefore not hitting home run.
 

Packers2010

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yeah. the last girl i was ****ing did that a bit.

then again it was at 4am after drinking a lot and feeling ****ty.

i guess theres that moment of time where the girl is hot. but most of the time i found it wasn't at the end of the night. then again it could be me.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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handle

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She didn't want to suck **** and she was on her period. Sounds like you did everything else though (except anal. but how often does anal happen on a first date?). Doesn't seem out of the ordinary to me.
 

Falcon25

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You fingered each other??? You like a finger in you ass boy???
 

Falcon25

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OnTheWayUp said:
Something pretty odd happened to me and one of my wingmen this week. On Tuesday, I met this girl at a party who I had spoken to once before. She was giving me millions of IOIs, isolating herself from her friends, coming to find me rather than the other way round, asking me if there was an after party etc. It was pretty darn obvious she wanted me. So, after the party, we went back to her place... and she didn't want to do it! Really strange: we made out, groped and fingered each other a bit, but no more. She had her period (I saw the tampon), so fair play, but even so I would have thought she would have done oral. We spent the night together and talked a lot, but nothing more happened.

Pretty much exactly the same thing happened to one of my wingmen last night. He took a girl home, having made out with her extensively on the dance floor, but she didn't want to do anything serious the first time. So again, they slept together without "sleeping together," if that makes sense.

Is this a new form of "first date" that girls are doing these days? Taking guys home and getting to know them a bit- but in bed?! Anyone else experienced this as well?
:nervous:
 

Falcon25

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DJDamage said:
It would have been better for you if the latter happened instead of being a cuddle b1tch for the rest of the night.

Next time a girl tries to pull this sh1t on you, leave her place without spending the night.
Phenomenal advice.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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OnTheWayUp

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Interesting thread this.

To the people telling me I should have left: it might interest you to know that my friend has now slept with the girl who pulled this move on him a few days ago. I just left a party where the two of them are there together, and it looks as if they'll be at it again this evening. :) I put it to you that if he hadn't persisted (ie stayed the night without sleeping with her), she wouldn't have put out.

For my part, my girl was also at the party this evening, and told me to "look for another girl." That said, she also kept touching me and coming over to me to talk, so she might have been playing hard to get. I feel attention ***** vibes coming from her, so I'm going to concentrate on another plate.
 

runner83

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OnTheWayUp said:
Interesting thread this.

To the people telling me I should have left: it might interest you to know that my friend has now slept with the girl who pulled this move on him a few days ago. I just left a party where the two of them are there together, and it looks as if they'll be at it again this evening. :) I put it to you that if he hadn't persisted (ie stayed the night without sleeping with her), she wouldn't have put out.

For my part, my girl was also at the party this evening, and told me to "look for another girl." That said, she also kept touching me and coming over to me to talk, so she might have been playing hard to get. I feel attention ***** vibes coming from her, so I'm going to concentrate on another plate.
Either she is an AW or you failed to escalate and overcome LMR properly.

Fact is, if she was really into you, she would take you home and bang your brains out.

Lesson for next time:

Never spend the night if she won't have s 8=====) x.

Don't act like a sooky boy about it. Just say "well this was great, but I have an early start tomorrow" and leave.
 
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