99% sure gf is cheating

[STR8UP]

All the power to ya, just make sure that you have a handful of women leaving you "comments indicating interest" on your page, otherwise the odds of you meeting women, hot that is, are slim to none, even if you have tight game. That's why I got rid of mine. It was doing absolutely nothing to get me laid. These b*tches wanna see proof that you're "wanted" by other women. That's the only bad thing about MySpace, if you don't have the "comments indicating interest", your game is f*cked.

I had basically no desire to join the Myspace crowd, but my friends g/f talked me into setting up a page. I don't use it to contact women. It's just a place to poke around from time to time to see what my friends have been up to. just another modern communication tool.

Self idolization? i don't know about that. At least not for most of the people I know.

Yea, I have pics on my page from the places I have traveled and some pics of me with family and friends. It is an expression of me, for the little effort I put in to setting it up.

Some of the younger women I know are WAAAAY more into it than they should be, I will give you guys that. that's probably where you get the misconceptions about it being bad. But on the other side of the coin both of my sisters are married with kids and they eventually set up pages and reconnected with a bunch of their old friends that way. And it's the same with most of the other people i know on there.

Anyways, I'm not saying that everyone should go out and get a myspace account, but to automatically write off a woman because she is on there is ridiculous, IMO

 

[edger]

Self idolization? i don't know about that. At least not for most of the people I know.

I was referring to the women on it being attention wh*res.

 

[Latinoman]

I will probably start join the myspace crowd soon. It's ridiculously asinine, but I can meet younger women and also keep in touch with the people I just graduated law school with, who include several younger women.

Let me get this straight...you live less than 5 hours from a college town and you need MySpace to meet younger woman?

You have cell phones and emails and you need MySpace to meet your lawyers buddies (by the way a doubt a succesful lawyer between working long hours, meeting with clients, and having happy hours would have time to sit down and maintain a MySpace profile)?

Do you see how ridiculous it sounds?

And you don't want drama in your life, but you want to added by meeting women in MySpace? You can meet younger women any where. But if you are into women that are constantly seeking attention...what you are going to do once your career as a lawyer take your time from her? Better yet...what would she do? Seek attention from other men?

When a woman is busy with her friends, work, her man, and REAL hobbies (such as the gym, etc)...she has little time to spend in a social Network. That's why I prefer the 28-32 age group.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I am actually 15 minutes from a college town. My law grad friends are not busy and successful yet. I could probably have 30+ female myspace 'friends' in a few days. At least a couple of these girls would be easy lays, based upon the value I have built by knowing them for the past three years.

The gf this thread is about just turned 27, but she still has the emotional maturity of a teenager. White midwestern girls are simply too old for me at 28-32. I am going to stick with the 22-26 y/o crowd, of which myspace is a necessary evil. I am also going to try and never think about the future of the relationship, and focus only on the present. It's worrying about the future that made me screw it up with this one. I couldn't just visit the city, I had to interview it as a place to live with her in the future - too much pressure.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Now I just got a text:

Just wanted to say hi. I'm really busy with work this week, hope all is well. Miss you.

wtf? If all was well, she wouldn't be ignoring my calls for a week. I didn't respond. I want to throw all kinds of accusations at her, but what if I am wrong? Do I just act non-chalant? Do I act like it has never occurred to me that she might be cheating? I have no idea how to handle this.

 

[cordoncordon]

DO NOT RESPOND!!!

All she is doing is seeing if you are still hooked on the line. As soon as you text or call back she knows she still has you.

Ignore her. I've been through these type of situations before and the ONLY shot you have (assuming you even want that-which I wouldn't) is to totally quit her cold turkey and make her come crawling back to you. Make her beg, make her wonder why YOU are the one suddenly busy and not interested. She knows she has the power over you right now, it's time to change that up. Who knows she probably got into a fight with her new guy (I'm assuming there is another guy based on her actions) and wants you to be there as a little cushy teddy bear to make her feel "wanted".

F the beeootch. Remember how you felt when she ignored you? Is she worth it?

 

[BobFuest]

if you are 99% sure and (assuming your not crazy) she is. cant tell you much more then that, either you will walk or you will fold. the choice is up to you. you already know your answer.

 

[joekerr31]

Now I just got a text:

Just wanted to say hi. I'm really busy with work this week, hope all is well. Miss you.

wtf? If all was well, she wouldn't be ignoring my calls for a week. I didn't respond. I want to throw all kinds of accusations at her, but what if I am wrong? Do I just act non-chalant? Do I act like it has never occurred to me that she might be cheating? I have no idea how to handle this.

do NOT NOT NOT respond.

you are THROUGH with this woman remember?

she's texting you for one of a number of reasons...

1) she's been cheating and is fighting with this new guy and needs to be reminded how special and great she is (remember, half the time the guys these women cheat with treat them like crap after they bang them.)

2) she just found out that the guy she was thinking of cheating with has a gf, or isn't interested, or is gay, or whatever. so that vine disappeared and she doesn't want to let go of this one just yet.

3) she has no idea what she wants. one week shes thinking of leaving you. the next she wants you back.

4) she was a wild week of fun before coming home to be with you. getting hammered and sleeping with guys. now its out of her system and shes ready to come back and do the boyfriend girlfriend thing again.

if you have to respond, just respond back to her saying 'it's over. please do not text me again."

 

[CGE333]

I'll second or third the don't respond to the text message. If there is any interest left on her end let her be the one that is worrying about what you are doing and who you are going out with at night.

 

[Bible_Belt]

1) she's been cheating and is fighting with this new guy and needs to be reminded how special and great she is (remember, half the time the guys these women cheat with treat them like crap after they bang them.)

2) she just found out that the guy she was thinking of cheating with has a gf, or isn't interested, or is gay, or whatever. so that vine disappeared and she doesn't want to let go of this one just yet.

3) she has no idea what she wants. one week shes thinking of leaving you. the next she wants you back.

4) she was a wild week of fun before coming home to be with you. getting hammered and sleeping with guys. now its out of her system and shes ready to come back and do the boyfriend girlfriend thing again.

3 is correct. I am hoping at least the 'sleeping with guys' part of 4 is wrong. Remember she had a former sorority gf in town this week. Her Mom is visiting this coming weekend. Last time when we broke up I was convinced she was cheating, and I was wrong about it then. It was all in my head. Maybe it is the same this time. I don't have anything more than paranoid suspicion. This girl is odd, on Paxil for ocd. Maybe she's just weird and not cheating like a normal woman.

I would imagine she'll call tonight. (I won't call her if she does not call me.) I won't answer, but I will probably call her back later tonight, and be as non-chalant as possible. "I was thinking I was single again" and make a joke out of it like it does not matter much either way. She has always been very jealous of me, and I've been able to use this to my advantage in the past. During the last breakup, she said that she like being single. My reply was 'good, then I'm single, too. This works both ways.' This drove her nuts and she never said she wanted to be single again.

The lows of this relationship stink, but I am addicted to the highs of it, or the sex, maybe both. 80-90% of the time I have the power, and the girl eats out of my hand, but when things go poorly, she crawls into her shell, and my power over her vanishes. Maybe this thread is mostly just me being paranoid.

 

[decades]

No this thread is about a supposedly mature AFC (you) who is going to ignore reality and ignore the great advice from many men here.

 

[joekerr31]

bible, you can't trust your judgement on any of this.

its true, the thread subject is your 99% sure gf is cheating, and now you are saying you think its #3 (shes not cheating).

dude, wtf man?


as for you having power 90% of the time. BS. if she has the power to take away your power (as you say she did), then that means she has the power 100% of the time, but 90% of the time lets you think you have it.

anyway, all this girl is going to have to do is dangle hte smallest itsy bitsy carrot in front of you and I think you're goign to cave like a house of cards under Oprah's fat *ss.

oh and the whole calling her later and making a joke of things - that is major AFC if you ask me. you're afraid of her, afraid of upsetting her, so you're going to joke your way through this?

chics see right thorugh that sh*t - when you try to b*tch slap them but in a joking wishy washy manner.

and why the f*ck are you with a chic with ocd? are you nuts?

 

[decades]

Eh, I wouldn't go that far. My ex-girl SPECIFICALLY wrote on her MySpace(dedicated a whole paragraph on it) how she couldn't wait to live with me and how any guys trying to pick her up could "FORGET ABOUT IT!" in her exact words. In my opinion, most women on MySpace who are in relationships are only on it for nothing other than attention wh*ring purposes, so they could get validation that they're "wanted" by guys, not because they're "looking" for other guys.

now that's exactly the kind of girl I am looking for! An AW!

ps: did you say X GF? just checking...

 

[Bible_Belt]

The other guy is an old hookup from her last school years ago, which is the facebook reference. He lives in the city where she is staying now. I know she posted on his myspace page, but it could have been months ago, I have no way of knowing. Last time she said "I need space" and did not have anyone else. She is irrational and immature, but she might not be cheating. Isn't even worrying about it afc in the first place? I should just not care about what I can't control. All I can attempt to control is her interest level.

I think acting like I was non-chalantly moving on with no worries and staying busy is the best way to go.

 

[joekerr31]

oh man thinking that like you are f*cked.

all you can control is her interest level? are you f*cking joking me?>

you lost her interest level a long time ago. it died when she stopped returning your calls.

her interest in you now has NOTHING to do with YOU. its a function of something that has gone on in her life or some whimsical change of mood she's had.

all you are doing now is letting her know that she can treat you like sh*t and you'll take it like chump.

this is what AFCs do. they get sh*t thrown in their face and then talk themselves in to how getting more sh*t throw in their face is actually an alpha thing to do.

call a spade a spade dude. right now you are talking yourself in to giving a woman who treated you like cr*p another chance. and she doesn't even have to do anything to get that second chance other than pretend like nothing happened.

no offense intended here bible, but if she DID cheat on you, it would be a joke to hide it from you because you are totally blind to what is actually going on.

 

[jophil28]

Do NOT talk to her any way,any time. I hate some of the insults that are thrown around on this forum at guys who are in a ditch with a woman BUT i am gonna say this to you- you are "pvssy whipped" and under her spell. She KNOWS that and plays you really skillfully. Get a grip BB.
Even IF she is not cheating, do you want to continue to be in a LDR with someone who acts like she does not give a shyte and then texts you back after not answering/returning your calls to see if you are "stiil on the end of that LONG line".
The main issue here is that she is NOT behaving as if YOU are the main event in her life. All men are entitled to a great woman who makes US her priority.
Stop making excuses and finding "explanations" for her behavior. Ignore her and if she comes crawling and begging ,THEN you have most of the power back.(At least for a week or two)
You need to set some rules and guidlines for yourself in regard to how you want women to behave. Set some personal standards and requirements. If they do not measure up - fire their AZZ. Women are like naughty, selfish children -they will get away with whatever they can.
Be clear about what you want and do not be so "understanding" of their crap behavior.

I will say it again "All men are entitled to a great woman who makes US their priority."

 

[Bible_Belt]

I will ignore her as much as I can, but I want to subtlely let her know that I am about to get fed up and go bang some other chick. I don't think telling her that I thought I was single and was going to start dating again is putting up with her crap. I say make a joke of it, but a funny-cause-it's-true type of joke. I want to make her feel like I have felt the past few days. She gets jealous easily and reacts to jealousy on my part very poorly.

Her career is the main event in her life, which is why she moved away for this internship. I am never going to be #1 in a career woman's life. At least career women tend to not want kids.

Not calling me back was sh!tty, but I have been plenty sh!tty to her when I was visiting. If I had not fvcked that up, none of this would have happened.

I want to make her come crawling back. I will stop being so available, predictable, and nice. I think telling her that I was about to start living the single life is a step in that direction.

 

[jophil28]

Why would you even CONSIDER being devoted to a woman who makes YOU #2 in her life. IT does NOT matter whether her #1 priority is her career, another guy or her cat. YOU are never going to be in that place withher to which you are entitled ! NUMBER 1 ! You will always be playing second fiddle- playing catch up to the demands of her career. That places you at her mercy and under her control because you are placing yourself down her food chain.
Tough break buddy BUT it is what it is.

NExt thing ! YOu need to quit thinking about "acting single " ( as if this is a good 'tactic' to get her head to swivel round). You need to start " BEING SINGLE".
Maybe the lawyer in you is at work here ? I bet that you think that you and she can "talk" your problems and differences away? THis is also pop counseling crapola - a strategy promoted by women who love just 'talking ' about problems and some of whom write self help books about couple communication. Women LOVE to talk - because it replaces ACTION. AS long as they are talking they do not have to DO anything different.

As a legal guy you understand the use and power of debate and persuasion.
Save it for those juries, dude. Women do not respond to reason or considered debate. They are interested only in talking and behaving in ways that suits their immediate emotional wants whims and needs. Just like KIDS.
You gotta put your G/f in "time out" and be willing to do that permanently.

 

[joekerr31]

man this is so grade 10.

she made me jealous now im going to make her jealous. she stole my pen so im goign to steal her crayons.

you aren't leading in this relationship. you're just letting it turn in a group of monkies throwing feces all over the place.

just remember, whatever happens next is no longer her fault. she's shown you who she is and you are choosing to ignore it / accept it.

so if you get f*cked over don't look up to the sky asking 'WHy me God why me?"

you will deserve zero sympathy or understanding on this one given you have chosen to ignore all the signs and all the advice

 

[CGE333]

BB,

Don't tell her, just do. There is a big difference between saying you are going to start living the single life and just doing it. Telling her ain't going to make a bit of difference except for making her feel that whatever BS she has been up to that she was justified in doing it. That is the way she will rationalize it. Your best bet is to just move on and cease all contact with her. It doesn't matter whether your circle of friends are part of hers. Get on w/ your life. I am speaking from personal experience here, stop living your life through your rearview mirror and start living it through what is in front of you. And this chick aint in front of you.