********

[AgonyUncle]

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:



>>>>> 40-ish................................49

>>>>> Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.

>>>>> Athletic...............................No breasts.

>>>>> Average looking....................Moooo.

>>>>> Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.

>>>>> Emotionally Secure................On medication.

>>>>> Feminist................................Fat.

>>>>> Free spirit............................Junkie.

>>>>> Friendship first......................Former slut.

>>>>> New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.

>>>>> Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.

>>>>> Open-minded.......................Desperate.

>>>>> Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.

>>>>> Professional..........................*****.

>>>>> Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.

>>>>> Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.

>>>>> Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.





WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

>>>>> 1. Yes = No

>>>>> 2. No = Yes

>>>>> 3. Maybe = No

>>>>> 4. We need = I want

>>>>> 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

>>>>> 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

>>>>> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

>>>>> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

>>>>> 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

>>>>> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:

>>>>> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry

>>>>> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

>>>>> 3. I am tired = I am tired

>>>>> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

>>>>> 5. I love you = Let's have sex now

>>>>> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

>>>>> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

>>>>> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

>>>>> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

>>>>> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

>>>>> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.

 

[ShawnLG]

honisty...............tell me all the dirt about you

spontainious................my emotions control me


I want a stable man = I want a rich man

I want a man who knows how to treat me well = I want a rich man

I am looking for a mature man= I want a rich man

I am looking for someone responsible = I want a rich man

I want someone who has his life put together = I want a rich man

I want a man with ambition = I want a rich man

I want a man with some goals = I want a rich man

I want a rich man = I want a six figure man

He must be absolutely the most intelligent man on earth = He must the wealthist man on earth

I don't care how much you make = your assets are more important to me

I'm looking for someone to compliment my life = I'm looking for someone with assets

I want someone who treats me as an equal = I want half of your assets

I know people have issues = I have issues

I am a homebody = I am a couch potato

I want to be cherished = I am no longer desirable

I really want a person who cares about others' wants and needs just as I do = I am not a giver

I am looking for someone who will love me for me and not what they want me to be or think I should be = I am ugly

I am tired of trying to "live up" to others' standards = I have tried to exercise, but that did not work

I can strike up a conversation anywhere = I am a slut

Meeting new people energizes me = meeting new men turns me on

I generally don't like to draw attention to myself = I am an attention *****

I am looking for a serious relationship = I want to settle down and get married

I practice Christianity = I practice celebacy

keep a healthy diet = I eat a lot

I am not a judging person = I am very picky person

I am open to a match with all types of characteristics = didn't I say I am picky?

I'm not big into the dating scene = I still have not found Mr. right, yea I am picky

I am a family person = I want to start my own

I am very adventurous = I wander from the relationship

I am happy with the choices in life = I have a few choices

I don't care what you do on your own time = you better keep in touch with me!

I'm temporarily living with mom = I am looking for a man to support me

I would perfer a man who lives on his own = I would like him to support me

Someone who doesnt mind a real womens body = someone who doesn't mind that my body looks like an atlas with 3D mountains and canyons

I am sick of all the head games = I want a beta to support me

I am too old for the club scene = No one wants to dance with me

I love kids = I want kids

I'm looking for someone to be friends with first = you will be sh*t tested to death before you can lay with me

I want someone who takes care of himself = I want a hot guy

I read novels = I am looking for Mr. Perfect

intellectual conversation = emotional conversation

I am looking for a friendship = don't expect sex

I am a pretty simple person = I am easy

It doesnt take alot to amuse me = I am easy game

I like to keep to my self = I keep secrets

I am who I am...no excuses = I can be *****y! (I found this one on Match, seriously!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got a lot of theses from match profiles and translated them.

 

[SAYNO]

Hey, those are excellent guys!



Hey, lets start a game with this can someone translate this one:




I must warn you I have lots of guy friends = ?




Sayno'

 

[speedo_meme]

I have lots of guy friends = You better be a h*ll of a Don Juan buddy...

I know this from experience...