90% Men are Invisible

[zekko]

Saw this video, nothing new, but I thought it was interesting. It's by notorious black piller Wheat Waffles, but I thought it was better than most of his stuff, thought it made a lot of sense.

I have never really bought into the idea that women only wanted bad boys, and this helps explain it better IMO. According to this, women are really just attracted to the good looking men. But the good looking men with good personalities have girlfriends or wives - or are quickly snapped up - so they're not really on OLD, or on the market. The good looking men who are left are the bad boys. So girls go for the good looking guy, but they turn out to be bad boys. And of course the average looking guys are basically ignored.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don’t have time to watch this right now, but I generally agree that 90% of guys are more or less invisible.

Are there far fewer good looking men than good looking women, or are women tougher appraisers of looks than men are?

I suspect it’s both.

 

[zekko]

Are there far fewer good looking men than good looking women, or are women tougher appraisers of looks than men are?
I suspect it’s both.

Yeah, the biggest difference between men and women is that women find most men unattractive. Meanwhile, women are designed to be appealing to men. We are wired to respond to their shape, and other feminine traits. A male has to be exceptional to catch a woman's eye.

 

[Velasco]

Are there far fewer good looking men than good looking women, or are women tougher appraisers of looks than men are?

there’s always been few good looking guys and girls. however, social media warped that perception of what a good looking girl or guy is. because everyone today that is 18+, spend a good amount of their time in lockdown during covid, just scrolling at very good looking people lip syncing and dancing. what classified as “good looking” became model with a perfect jawline/checkbones. where before the benchmark for “good looking” was much lower. so now your either hot (good looking) or mid.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I don’t have time to watch this right now, but I generally agree that 90% of guys are more or less invisible.

Are there far fewer good looking men than good looking women, or are women tougher appraisers of looks than men are?

I suspect it’s both.

I think it's got more to do with the fact that men outnumber women on dating apps, plus ment are less selective about who they contact. So a woman on dating apps might get the impression that there are more very good looking men out there than there actually are.

 

[Solomon]

Saw this video, nothing new, but I thought it was interesting. It's by notorious black piller Wheat Waffles, but I thought it was better than most of his stuff, thought it made a lot of sense.

I have never really bought into the idea that women only wanted bad boys, and this helps explain it better IMO. According to this, women are really just attracted to the good looking men. But the good looking men with good personalities have girlfriends or wives - or are quickly snapped up - so they're not really on OLD, or on the market. The good looking men who are left are the bad boys. So girls go for the good looking guy, but they turn out to be bad boys. And of course the average looking guys are basically ignored.

I mean this is obvius but the point is this, the bad boys aren't smashing 1s-3s sure they may smash a 4 and 5 if they down bad or looking for a sugar momma( i.e. Deadpoool Killer is a perfect example of a "Chadlite' banging 4s-6s and SM's for a place to stay and money)SO there is still a group of women who will give men outside of the top 10% a chance, are they top ones? obviosuly not. But relaastically a 4 landing a 9 for ltr is slim unless she is a sugar momma willing to finance a guy's ife (which belive it or not there are a lot of them out there)

 

[Velasco]

there is still a group of women who will give men outside of the top 10% a chance, are they top ones? obviosuly not

we don’t care what the bottom ones do. there’s a lot of things low quality girls would do, regarding how they text , how they treat u, their personality etc etc that shouldn’t be mixed in with the higher tier girls

 

[quodlibet]

Whenever people post this "women have the advantage" stuff, they fail to understand that the world is 1:1 gender balanced. That means, there's literally someone for everyone.

Even if it's true that women only want top notch men, there's not enough of these men to go around. 80-90% of men eventually end up married, not just the top.

When I was in my teens and early 20s, I was incel as f-ck. Thinking back, I've had a good number of girls pursue me. I was just too socially awkward. I was also what many consider a "low value male". I was only 5'5, total geek and hopelessly awkward. So if someone like that can get pursuers, then it's not just top 10% of men.

 

[Velasco]

80-90% of men eventually end up married, not just the top

I was also what many consider a "low value male". I was only 5'5, total geek and hopelessly awkward. So if someone like that can get pursuers, then it's not just top 10% of men.

yes a lot of guys who aren’t in the top of the market in terms of looks/status, eventually do get married to girls that gave way their prime years to top notch men. suddenly u become visible to them

 

[Bigpapa]

there’s always been few good looking guys and girls. however, social media warped that perception of what a good looking girl or guy is. because everyone today that is 18+, spend a good amount of their time in lockdown during covid, just scrolling at very good looking people lip syncing and dancing. what classified as “good looking” became model with a perfect jawline/checkbones. where before the benchmark for “good looking” was much lower. so now your either hot (good looking) or mid.

From my point of view, I think that mental problems became epidemic in the last couple of years ( both genders being affected maybe at the same rate )

Difficult to find a girl that is under 35 that did not go to a therapist or is currently going to a therapist, or is not on a light psychiatric treatment

also a big issue is that women from what I feel are not as sexual as they used to be. They look sexual, but actually are not. It is well documented that mental problems like depression, high anxiety, light psychiatric treatment etc decrease libido aggressively

on top of this I also noticed that women are more and more avoidant, and usually to get anywhere with them you just have to go with the lover frame, otherwise they will just get cold. Most guys are not projecting the lover frame, you go with the LTR frame and you loose them instantly

so when you factor all of these, I do not feel is an issue of Hypergamy. I feel is more an issue of guys not really even trying to look at all of these things that are happening

 

[plumber]

biology 101. one male can service many female. that male will do so and even arrange for removal of other male in some cases. this is mammal behavior. humans are in that group.

 

[plumber]

yes a lot of guys who aren’t in the top of the market in terms of looks/status, eventually do get married to girls that gave way their prime years to top notch men. suddenly u become visible to them

when this happens and it does happen often. the 10% are still servicing those women; on the side.... in many cases. if we are in the 10% we don't care and have NO issues with it. ALL of the complaints come from those of US, that are not in the 10%. if we are, all these topics are silly and a bad use of time.

 

[Prepostereax]

It works the other way round as well

I couldn't give a % on it, but most women are invisible too, although men tend to be far less selective
There's probably some biological reason for this, as above, not out of scarcity dynamics

(For me, any woman who is even a bit chubby is a no-boner)
but most guys aren't so picky

 

[Bokanovsky]

Whenever people post this "women have the advantage" stuff, they fail to understand that the world is 1:1 gender balanced. That means, there's literally someone for everyone.

Even if it's true that women only want top notch men, there's not enough of these men to go around. 80-90% of men eventually end up married, not just the top.

When I was in my teens and early 20s, I was incel as f-ck. Thinking back, I've had a good number of girls pursue me. I was just too socially awkward. I was also what many consider a "low value male". I was only 5'5, total geek and hopelessly awkward. So if someone like that can get pursuers, then it's not just top 10% of men.

What you say is quite true. The problem is that the dating market does not operate the same way as the market for goods and services.

Let's say you want to buy a car and you only have $25K to spend. $25K is not going to get a new Rolls Royce, or even a new BMW. Heck, $25K will barely buy you a base Honda Civic nowadays. And car shoppers know this. No sane car shopper is not going to try to convince a Rolls Royce or BMW dealer to sell him a car for $25K because he knows that it would be a futile exercise.

When it comes to dating, things are obviously far less objective. People tend to overestimate their value and underestimate the value of others. This is especially true of women who have grown increasingly delusional due to social media and dating apps. The average modern woman is like a car shopper clutching a $25K cheque thinking that it's only a matter of time until someone drops off a luxury exotic on her driveway.

 

[BadBoy89]

The title of thread should be changed to:

"90% of men are invisible to hot young girls in their 20s"

Men generally don't care about being invisible to any other demographic. In fact, they would prefer to be.

 

[BeExcellent]

Yeah I was gonna say...90% of men are invisible to hot women too.

One welcome side effect of being older, honestly, is being more anonymous. Its nice not to be gawked at by every male who walks by. Of course the wedding ring helps too, but even without that, its nice.

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

Yeah, the biggest difference between men and women is that women find most men unattractive. Meanwhile, women are designed to be appealing to men. We are wired to respond to their shape, and other feminine traits. A male has to be exceptional to catch a woman's eye.

Wipe the makeup off most skinny/slim "7s" or "6s" and they become instant 5's. Women have more tools to alleviate their beauty, men typically only have the basics like gym, grooming/hair, clothes. None of which can turn an already fit/slim 5/10 guy into a 7. If your 5'9 and wear 2" inch built up height increasing shoes your laughed at, but its ok for women to wear ridiculous 4" inch stiletto's, push up bra's, corsets, hair extensions, breast implants. If a bald man turns up one day at work having had a hair transplant during the summer holidays, he's now seen as insecure and compensating; men are penalized more for enhancements because its seen as sneaky, "false genetic signalling".

Signalling theory - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[zekko]

One welcome side effect of being older, honestly, is being more anonymous. Its nice not to be gawked at by every male who walks by. Of course the wedding ring helps too, but even without that, its nice.

This reminds me a bit of when I turned 30. For whatever reason, I felt like I had passed a milestone, and a lot of the pressure was off. Because my "young adulthood" was over. Being a guy in your 20s (and I'm sure it's the case for women too), there's a lot of pressure to be sexy - not sure how else to put it. But once I got into my 30s, I felt like the pressure was off. Yeah, I continued to try to self improve, and be physically fit, but it was almost like leaving high school - another layer of superficiality was peeled away.

Wipe the makeup off most skinny/slim "7s" or "6s" and they become instant 5's. Women have more tools to alleviate their beauty, men typically only have the basics like gym, grooming/hair, clothes. None of which can turn an already fit/slim 5/10 guy into a 7. If your 5'9 and wear 2" inch built up height increasing shoes your laughed at, but its ok for women to wear ridiculous 4" inch stiletto's, push up bra's, corsets, hair extensions, breast implants. If a bald man turns up one day at work having had a hair transplant during the summer holidays, he's now seen as insecure and compensating; men are penalized more for enhancements because its seen as sneaky, "false genetic signalling".

I have never found fake looking women, I can't stand ridiculous high heels, ridiculously long fingernails, botox lips, or the like. Prefer natural breasts, although I admit I've seen some well done breast implants. Some are botched though. Still prefer natural. A lot of women's attraction is in their body, their shape, and you can't fake that with makeup. Yeah, they can enhance their looks with makeup, but I don't hold that against them - you've got to have something to enhance. Makeup on a man looks ridiculous, and it looks ridiculous on a woman too if it's too heavy.

I have gray hair, and I've always left it natural. I've heard that dyeing it can make a guy look insecure. I don't know if that's the case, but when I've ever mentioned it, every woman I know has always told me not to. The only people telling me to dye it are guys in the manosphere, who I have never met. I feel no real need to dye it, so I don't. Sure, I'd rather have my youthful dark brown hair back, but I don't really want to dye it, and some women (and gay men) seem to like it, so why bother? I don't really understand it, because as a man I don't want to see a woman with gray hair, but it doesn't seem to be holding me back any.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This "average guy" we speak of is similar to the the average job seeker. Who

-Walks into an interview more or less wearing their jammies

-Refuses to shave, shower, throw on deodorant, and/or freshen their breath, at least an hour or 2 prior to said interview

-Has an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars mythos (They've read every paperback novel pertaining to this franchise. More than once), yet no idea what exactly the company they're now seeking a paycheck from does

-Believes, even if unconsciously: "I'm a good person, and everyone I encounter should see that instantly, then give me what I want... I shouldn't have to actively elicit anything out of anyone"



And thus remains "invisible" to even Burger King. By contrast though, the job seeker who tests high on Hare's Psychopathy Checklist



-Reads up on the nature of sex appeal, then goes above and beyond the call of duty to enhance their own, cosmetic surgery sometimes included

-Attends seminars on increasing one's charisma, applies what he or she has learned religiously

-Refuses to leave the house without looking as if they're attending a photoshoot for the cover of GQ or Glamour

-Has a shelf filled with the hottest colognes or perfumes, never forgets to throw them on whilst mingling with the public at large

-Cultivates an exhaustive comprehension of the company they're seeking a paycheck from, weeks and sometimes months in advance. Up to, and including, learning intimate details about the personal life of whoever is interviewing them... They walk in knowing exactly what buttons to push, so as to steer their target towards being more agreeable, in other words

-Possess zero reservations about flattering/selling themselves to those whom they want something out of



Is not only "visible", but highly DESIRED for high paying gigs in Fortune 500 corporations, despite said corporations having been taken for a ride by hucksters like this a few million times prior*. Dating and mating ain't much different, kids. Wanna be visible to those who hold the key to whatever it is you desire? Be prepared to make yourself visible


*Lest anyone think I'm talking out of my ass about all of this https://pearl-hifi.com/11_Spirited_Growth/10_Health_Neg/08_Psychopathy_OPs_AFs/Snakes_in_Suits.pdf

 

[Pumax]

I'm handsome, but I think I'm a little autistic.
Women have given me numerous signals and opportunities (which I only understood later), but they've never been as clear as saying "I like you, shall we go out?" or literally declaring themselves.

Rather, they've waited, some for years, for me to make my move.

I'm working on myself to heal this handicap and improve my perception.

80-90% of men eventually end up married, not just the top.

Your point is correct.
This doesn't mean women aren't still "looking" for those top tier men.
They just settle with a normie. And their life will be miserable.

They haven't had the opportunity to capture a "top tier man," and if they have, he acts too alpha and cheats on them, so they'll fall back on a beta orbiter. They also tried to change this top tier man, but they had no luck, since him kept a iron frame and it's not bending to her.

If they let him "get away", or they did not have the opportunity to catch such a male, then they'll settle for a beta orbiter, keeping options for sexual satisfaction.

Btw, How did you end up growing? Curious about that! @quodlibet