"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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8 year breakup and oneitis...closure?

synthetic

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Altho reading this site over the years has helped me immensely in my LTR, my own lack of ambition fvcked it all up. I'll try and make it short;

I'm 26, she's a bit older. Trouble's been brewing for the last year or so, and I lived with her for about 2 years. She kicked my ass out due to lack of ambition and trust really. She started things with a guy online, a few hours drive away...just online. We kept in contact, but after a few weeks she called to break it off. I stuck to the no contact rule, and at week 3 she tried calling me and I didnt pick up. ...but it's killing me, because i think i need closure. The dude she met is pretty much the perfect age for her (around 34), and I think she's going after the stability...since i didnt even engage her after 8 years.
My 2 player buddies tell me I need to meet up with her one last time for closure.

Now I know how lame it sounds, but when i first got together with this girl, it was almost too good...she fit ALL my criteria in every way, it was almost scary (I'm one picky bastard). It's making this really hard right now.
She sent me a lengthy email offering to be friends of course, telling me I never loved her 'the right way'. I never responded, keeping to the rule.

The question is, do i meet up with her one last time for closure? My DJ buddies think it will help solidify it in my head that she's gone for good. Keeping silent is getting harder by the day!
The other dude is a plain, 'quiet' guy.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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WaterTiger

Master Don Juan
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You want closure? Here ya go:

She wanted a husband, kids and family. After 8 years with you she gave up and dumped your ass for some one who would give her what she wanted.

You said she fit your very picky criteria...yet you strung her along for 8 YEARS and gave her no commitment. If she was so great then why the long wait?

This break up was not a sudden thing. This had been a long time coming and you know it.

Don't go see her "one last time", don't be "friends". Cut all contact and go sleep with 10 other girls. Get over this, and get past it. There is no use mulling this over in your head.
 

synthetic

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She always said she didn't want kids...then again, she did just hit that magical biological clock phase. Thanks for the harsh reply, It actually helps when I'm feeling like a *****. I guess I should have listened to ...uh...everyone, who said i should give her a ring already. Doh...
 
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