BingoBango
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2006
- Messages
- 100
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Hey.
Tho primarily for me, hopefully this post will add value to the forums. This post is longer than i intended. Maybe just read the bits i've put in bold or underlined.
My formula
1) GET OVER MY EGO, & any self sabotage
2) When that's handled, i can WORK EXTREMELY HARD.
That's it. Simple. Except it's not it's FVCKING HARD. But the concept is simple. If u dont sabotage urself, u have 16hrs in a day to work extremely hard (work to me is: game, making money, uni, gym, social).
If u have a BURNING DESIRE (as opposed to a 'wish' or a passing 'want'), then u will do ANYTHING to achieve ur goal. I'll ****ing work for 13 hrs a day every ****ing day to achieve my life goals, coz i FVCKING WANT THE BEST FOR MY LIFE, and it's EXCITING!
Why do ppl underachieve?
- self sabotage
- ego defences, ego protection
- bull**** distractions and rationalisations
- excuses
Would u be willing to do what i takes to be successful if u had no 'issues'? Would u be willing to work hard every day?
Would u be willing to work hard for say.... 700 DAYS IN A ROW?? HELL YEH!
700 Day Challenge (2 yrs basically, 700's a good number)
- Do what you know you have to do.
Dr Paul calls it 'Doing the right thing regardless of how u feel... courage.'
Plan what u want to do today, and do it. To be the best, do what u planned. Sounds easy but is INCREDDDDIBLY difficult. Easy enough to do for one day... can u do it for 7 in a row... can u do it for 700 in a row?
"Always be a yard ahead" (Andrew Johns)
- This means to go the extra mile. If u do what ur meant to do, then go the extra mile, u will acheive mastery automatically.
Eg: u get up & ur plan is to charge thru 3 chapters of ur uni text, go to the gym, do 10 approaches.
- AFC: (& old me) would do like 1 chapter and feel good, prob miss the gym thru laziness/excuses, might go out and 2 two approaches and feel good coz u did 2, prob wont even approach prob just stay with friends.
- Successful ppl: do the 3 chapters, go to the gym, do the 10 approaches.
- The best. Future #1: do 4 chapters, go to the gymm, does 12 approaches (or ideally does a lower amount or approaches that actually go somewhere, but for arguments sake let's just say more approaches is better).
So. Easy as. Set targets and either achieve them or beat them every day.
Do it 700 days in a row and u will be successful. If ur a 'yard ahead' every day, u may find urself to be the best after the 700 day period.
IT CAN'T NOT WORK.
Never doubt. Ur genes are good, ur here, ur ancetors were successful. If u work this hard for 700 days u will acheive greatness and it CANT NOT WORK. U CANNOT POSSIBLY FAIL unless u get hit by a bus and die, but hey, that's cool
The only thing that can possibly stop u is if u take urself out of the game.
u STOP. It is EASY to stop. One reason for stopping is coz ur failing & u cant take the rejections anymore, it doesnt fit with ur ego that ur a failure. The irony is if u keep going u will me massively succesful. If u stop to protect ur ego from feeling like a failure u actually become a failure.
So. The fomula is do what u know ur meant to do, beat ur targets if possible (i respond well to challenge).
This stuff is so hard to do that in my opinion, prob 90% of ppl cant do it. They CANT DO IT. They dont do what they want to in a day. They look back after 7months and wonder where the time went and wonder why they didnt achieve.
So, i'm gonna go deep into the #1 reason for why i haven't been able to do it. My ego and sense of self:
EGO
I've realised that the concepts of 'ego protection', 'ego defence mechanisms', and 'ego vs self' are the most crucial inner game concepts i've come across. It applies directly to my game, and also to my life. I'm inspired by the RSD TD article, which u can read on his blog from a while back, and also my dad.
We know what to do to get what we want. We all know what it takes to be great. It's hard work. Possibly EXTREME hard work, tho i dunno, prob just hard work. But it's difficult to work hard. Not coz of laziness or anything like that, but because of stuf like ego defences. My brain (and possibly urs) will deliberately make my physical self do random shti i dont wanna do, just so that i dont give 100% in my task. The function of this, is that afterwards when i fail, i can say that it was the fact that i didnt give 100% that was the reason for failure - and it wasnt me. There's nothing wrong with me... if i worked harder i wouldve done great...
Clearly this type of thinking is a croc of sh!t, but it happens with me all the time (it's a subconcious thing). It affects the long term and short term. In a day, i might want to do 10 approaches, do 2 hrs study, go to the gym, whatever. But i'll see myself deliberately doin sh!t i dont really care about, and the primary function of these things is distract, to make sure i dont put myself on the line, to give myself an excuse for failure afterwards that isnt related to me as a person.
Examples of sh!t i do in a day that i dont actually wanna do, (ego defences):
- tv. i dont even like tv, most of it is dumb. the occasional show is worthwhile. Tv's primary function for me is to prevent myself form doing what i wanna do, coz i'm subconciously sh!t scared of doing everything right and still failing, coz then it's me that's the problem and there's no excuses.
- making coffee constantly. same deal, just a distraction, i dont even particularly like coffee.
- smoking the same. I dont even like the taste of a cigarette that much. It's just a dumb habit. In the field smoking is a great excuse to not approach. "oh there's a HB9 she's gorgeous - oh wait - let's go have a quick smoke first ay boys".
- reading random crap on the internet, looking up porn. same deal.
- It doesnt matter what the bull**** distraction is. It may have an incredibly high value in itself, but it's primary function is to distract me from my task.
The older i get (i'm 22) the smarter my distractions/excuses become:
A disturbing thing is that the older i get the smarter i get with the defences/distractions. I find things to distract myself form my goal, that have some value in themselves.
Eg Watching the deangelo Dvds for the 40th time.
- The primary function of this is to procrastinate and give me an excuse to not get in field
- The secondary function is whatever value it has in itself
Eg I plan to go out sarging. But a few friends r goin for a beer locally, so i do that.
- Primary function: to avoid sarging
- Secondary function: whatever value it has in itself.
This secondary function hides the primary function from my conscious self, and i feel ok about it coz "oh i'm making progress i'm working hard".
Being ur own worst enemy
That cliche of 'being ur own worst enemy' sums up all this. And it doesnt matter how hard u work, u cannot beat urself. It doesnt matter how extremely hard u try, or how much incredibe hard work u think ur doin, if u think like this at all. Coz u'll get to a point where ur ego gets scared. Or u get scared that ur egotistical ideas r wrong. And u'll shut the door. Stop doing it. Distract urself constantly with irrelevant **** that u kno is irrelevant, yet u still do it.
How does this **** apply?
U'll get a little bit good then stop. U'll get validation form girls attracted to u then u'll stop - u wont get numbers in case she says no. If ur getting numbers u wont call in case she says no.
One bullsh!t thing i've been doing, is smsing asking for a day 2, rather than calling. Then if she flakes i can say to myself "oh if i'd called it wouldve worked it was the fact that i smsed that was the problem - it wasnt me."
I'll deliberately do things wrong so that i have an excuse for when it doesnt work.
SOLUTIONS
- realise ur genes are good. They're tried & tested. It's a forgone conclusion that u will be successful, as ur fathers, grandfathers etc etc etc have been, provided that ur CONFIDENT ENUF TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
- realise that no one gives a ****. Even i dont give a ****.
- Dont stop half way coz u feel validated. U need to do 13 hrs work not 4, dont do 4 then feel good and stop.
- ZERO OUTCOME DEPENDENCE. WORK HARD WITH NO OUTCOME DEPENDENCE.
This concept is crucial. I always heard it but i didnt get it til now. It's not that i dont care about the result, i care a LOT about the result, that's why i'm working so hard. It's that THE RESULT HAS NO IMPACT ON HOW I VIEW MYSELF AS A PERSON. MY SELF WORTH IS NOT DEPENDENT ON THE OUTCOME.
Conclusions from the above ramblings::
- If ur constantly making excuses and distracting urself, procrastinating etc on a subconsious manner like this to protect ur ego, ur progress will be VERY SLOW. And u may get to ur goal after a very very long time, or u may simply not get there
- If u can learn to put ur ego aside, nothing is stopping u and the world is ur oyster
This post was too long and not organised well but i hope i communicated it well enuf for my msg to get thru.
Summary
It's increadibly difficult to get over these deep inner game issues like ego defences/ego protection. But if u can do it then there's no stopping us. Our potential is limitless
1) Get over ego, get inner issues handled
2) Work extremely hard, with no bullsh!t
Focus on what u want and u'll find the way. Do exactly what u know ur meant to do, do it everyday and u will be massively successful.
I'm aiming high. I want do do this for 700 days straight. We'll see how i go.
Tho primarily for me, hopefully this post will add value to the forums. This post is longer than i intended. Maybe just read the bits i've put in bold or underlined.
My formula
1) GET OVER MY EGO, & any self sabotage
2) When that's handled, i can WORK EXTREMELY HARD.
That's it. Simple. Except it's not it's FVCKING HARD. But the concept is simple. If u dont sabotage urself, u have 16hrs in a day to work extremely hard (work to me is: game, making money, uni, gym, social).
If u have a BURNING DESIRE (as opposed to a 'wish' or a passing 'want'), then u will do ANYTHING to achieve ur goal. I'll ****ing work for 13 hrs a day every ****ing day to achieve my life goals, coz i FVCKING WANT THE BEST FOR MY LIFE, and it's EXCITING!
Why do ppl underachieve?
- self sabotage
- ego defences, ego protection
- bull**** distractions and rationalisations
- excuses
Would u be willing to do what i takes to be successful if u had no 'issues'? Would u be willing to work hard every day?
Would u be willing to work hard for say.... 700 DAYS IN A ROW?? HELL YEH!
700 Day Challenge (2 yrs basically, 700's a good number)
- Do what you know you have to do.
Dr Paul calls it 'Doing the right thing regardless of how u feel... courage.'
Plan what u want to do today, and do it. To be the best, do what u planned. Sounds easy but is INCREDDDDIBLY difficult. Easy enough to do for one day... can u do it for 7 in a row... can u do it for 700 in a row?
"Always be a yard ahead" (Andrew Johns)
- This means to go the extra mile. If u do what ur meant to do, then go the extra mile, u will acheive mastery automatically.
Eg: u get up & ur plan is to charge thru 3 chapters of ur uni text, go to the gym, do 10 approaches.
- AFC: (& old me) would do like 1 chapter and feel good, prob miss the gym thru laziness/excuses, might go out and 2 two approaches and feel good coz u did 2, prob wont even approach prob just stay with friends.
- Successful ppl: do the 3 chapters, go to the gym, do the 10 approaches.
- The best. Future #1: do 4 chapters, go to the gymm, does 12 approaches (or ideally does a lower amount or approaches that actually go somewhere, but for arguments sake let's just say more approaches is better).
So. Easy as. Set targets and either achieve them or beat them every day.
Do it 700 days in a row and u will be successful. If ur a 'yard ahead' every day, u may find urself to be the best after the 700 day period.
IT CAN'T NOT WORK.
Never doubt. Ur genes are good, ur here, ur ancetors were successful. If u work this hard for 700 days u will acheive greatness and it CANT NOT WORK. U CANNOT POSSIBLY FAIL unless u get hit by a bus and die, but hey, that's cool
The only thing that can possibly stop u is if u take urself out of the game.
u STOP. It is EASY to stop. One reason for stopping is coz ur failing & u cant take the rejections anymore, it doesnt fit with ur ego that ur a failure. The irony is if u keep going u will me massively succesful. If u stop to protect ur ego from feeling like a failure u actually become a failure.
So. The fomula is do what u know ur meant to do, beat ur targets if possible (i respond well to challenge).
This stuff is so hard to do that in my opinion, prob 90% of ppl cant do it. They CANT DO IT. They dont do what they want to in a day. They look back after 7months and wonder where the time went and wonder why they didnt achieve.
So, i'm gonna go deep into the #1 reason for why i haven't been able to do it. My ego and sense of self:
EGO
I've realised that the concepts of 'ego protection', 'ego defence mechanisms', and 'ego vs self' are the most crucial inner game concepts i've come across. It applies directly to my game, and also to my life. I'm inspired by the RSD TD article, which u can read on his blog from a while back, and also my dad.
We know what to do to get what we want. We all know what it takes to be great. It's hard work. Possibly EXTREME hard work, tho i dunno, prob just hard work. But it's difficult to work hard. Not coz of laziness or anything like that, but because of stuf like ego defences. My brain (and possibly urs) will deliberately make my physical self do random shti i dont wanna do, just so that i dont give 100% in my task. The function of this, is that afterwards when i fail, i can say that it was the fact that i didnt give 100% that was the reason for failure - and it wasnt me. There's nothing wrong with me... if i worked harder i wouldve done great...
Clearly this type of thinking is a croc of sh!t, but it happens with me all the time (it's a subconcious thing). It affects the long term and short term. In a day, i might want to do 10 approaches, do 2 hrs study, go to the gym, whatever. But i'll see myself deliberately doin sh!t i dont really care about, and the primary function of these things is distract, to make sure i dont put myself on the line, to give myself an excuse for failure afterwards that isnt related to me as a person.
Examples of sh!t i do in a day that i dont actually wanna do, (ego defences):
- tv. i dont even like tv, most of it is dumb. the occasional show is worthwhile. Tv's primary function for me is to prevent myself form doing what i wanna do, coz i'm subconciously sh!t scared of doing everything right and still failing, coz then it's me that's the problem and there's no excuses.
- making coffee constantly. same deal, just a distraction, i dont even particularly like coffee.
- smoking the same. I dont even like the taste of a cigarette that much. It's just a dumb habit. In the field smoking is a great excuse to not approach. "oh there's a HB9 she's gorgeous - oh wait - let's go have a quick smoke first ay boys".
- reading random crap on the internet, looking up porn. same deal.
- It doesnt matter what the bull**** distraction is. It may have an incredibly high value in itself, but it's primary function is to distract me from my task.
The older i get (i'm 22) the smarter my distractions/excuses become:
A disturbing thing is that the older i get the smarter i get with the defences/distractions. I find things to distract myself form my goal, that have some value in themselves.
Eg Watching the deangelo Dvds for the 40th time.
- The primary function of this is to procrastinate and give me an excuse to not get in field
- The secondary function is whatever value it has in itself
Eg I plan to go out sarging. But a few friends r goin for a beer locally, so i do that.
- Primary function: to avoid sarging
- Secondary function: whatever value it has in itself.
This secondary function hides the primary function from my conscious self, and i feel ok about it coz "oh i'm making progress i'm working hard".
Being ur own worst enemy
That cliche of 'being ur own worst enemy' sums up all this. And it doesnt matter how hard u work, u cannot beat urself. It doesnt matter how extremely hard u try, or how much incredibe hard work u think ur doin, if u think like this at all. Coz u'll get to a point where ur ego gets scared. Or u get scared that ur egotistical ideas r wrong. And u'll shut the door. Stop doing it. Distract urself constantly with irrelevant **** that u kno is irrelevant, yet u still do it.
How does this **** apply?
U'll get a little bit good then stop. U'll get validation form girls attracted to u then u'll stop - u wont get numbers in case she says no. If ur getting numbers u wont call in case she says no.
One bullsh!t thing i've been doing, is smsing asking for a day 2, rather than calling. Then if she flakes i can say to myself "oh if i'd called it wouldve worked it was the fact that i smsed that was the problem - it wasnt me."
I'll deliberately do things wrong so that i have an excuse for when it doesnt work.
SOLUTIONS
- realise ur genes are good. They're tried & tested. It's a forgone conclusion that u will be successful, as ur fathers, grandfathers etc etc etc have been, provided that ur CONFIDENT ENUF TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
- realise that no one gives a ****. Even i dont give a ****.
- Dont stop half way coz u feel validated. U need to do 13 hrs work not 4, dont do 4 then feel good and stop.
- ZERO OUTCOME DEPENDENCE. WORK HARD WITH NO OUTCOME DEPENDENCE.
This concept is crucial. I always heard it but i didnt get it til now. It's not that i dont care about the result, i care a LOT about the result, that's why i'm working so hard. It's that THE RESULT HAS NO IMPACT ON HOW I VIEW MYSELF AS A PERSON. MY SELF WORTH IS NOT DEPENDENT ON THE OUTCOME.
Conclusions from the above ramblings::
- If ur constantly making excuses and distracting urself, procrastinating etc on a subconsious manner like this to protect ur ego, ur progress will be VERY SLOW. And u may get to ur goal after a very very long time, or u may simply not get there
- If u can learn to put ur ego aside, nothing is stopping u and the world is ur oyster
This post was too long and not organised well but i hope i communicated it well enuf for my msg to get thru.
Summary
It's increadibly difficult to get over these deep inner game issues like ego defences/ego protection. But if u can do it then there's no stopping us. Our potential is limitless
1) Get over ego, get inner issues handled
2) Work extremely hard, with no bullsh!t
Focus on what u want and u'll find the way. Do exactly what u know ur meant to do, do it everyday and u will be massively successful.
I'm aiming high. I want do do this for 700 days straight. We'll see how i go.