Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Being a singer or a guitar player in a band isn't exactly a hobby most guys can just "pick up."
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This is precisely why I've been considering some changes recently. I currently go to the gym and pay 500 euros annually. Most people there focus on their individual workouts, and there isn't much of a social or group atmosphere, even in the classes they offer, such as Pilates and yoga.
Check out Post #9 on this.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Interesting, I have never heard of such a thing. Sounds cool though, if that's what you are looking for. Most guys around here just say they go to the gym to work out and don't let anything distract them. Makes sense though that if you pay them much to join a "group", that there be some diverse benefits you can gain from it.
I have been to group fitness classes at multiple locations and I've never experienced a very sociable one.
Nor have I, but the one @jhonny9546 was talking about sounds like a unique one. He said they organize dinners, parties, and outings. Makes you wonder if they screen people to make sure they fit in. The fact that it's three times as expensive probably filters out some people.
The problem is not the cost.
Group fitness classes are one of the biggest disappointments I've encountered in approach venues.
www.sosuave.net
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Well, as has been said, the point of these classes is fitness, it's not to socialize. It sounds like the group that @jhonny9546 mentioned has different goals. I've never heard of a group like this, but maybe it's a European thing? Do you live in Europe?
I live in the United States. I'm in one of the biggest cities in the USA.
That's the only thing that prevents group fitness classes from being a total loss and a total waste. Even if you don't get dates at them, you are getting a good form of exercise in most cases.
I can't speak for every venue, but I don't think that's been the case with my gym or the standalone fitness studios where I've been.
I think this is the biggest factor with the classes at my gym and at the standalone studios where I've been.
Perhaps closing ranks isn't the right world. I'm just saying there's like an unspoken pact that they're not going to hook up with a random guy there. Maybe it's just that they view a guy with suspicion when he comes into a mostly female class?
This is more of a factor. I still think it's less of a factor than the boyfriend factor.
I'm a dip spitting, back woods, basically retarded conservative
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I have had real life experiences with the many places/tactics mentioned in that video that led to me starting a thread on it in December 2023. Here's the video again.
Hows your business holding up man? We need business like yours more than ever....masculinity and testosterone is under attack
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.