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65 things I learned from dating

Colossus

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This list was inspired by a similar list from CHICAGO27. Please read that one first, since it is an awesome list and deserves credit. Following are my own experiences from a decade of dating, LTRing, and laying....and you'll see many of them overlap.
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1. Always start with high interest. It is possible to raise a woman’s interest level temporarily through game, but in the long run you will see better returns if she thinks you are a stud from day one.

2. Women come and go. Always, always, always put precedence on improving yourself intellectually, emotionally, and physically, and your “beta” problems will take care of themselves.

3. Don’t get too hung up on being “alpha” or “beta”. The less you worry about how alpha you look and the more time you spend on pursuits other than women, the more alpha you become. It’s counterintuitive, but trust me this is a fact of life.

4. You can only put on a façade for so long. Don’t lie about your life.

5. There are many ways to meet women. Find what works best for you, but don’t hamstring yourself by clutching one method over all others.

6. Being too aggressive sexually will scare good women away, and being sexually timid will land you in the friendzone or the no zone.

7. Girls who put out right away, with ease, are generally not good investments for LTRs. This is based on my experience laying around 40 women. “Right away” means the first or second time you hang out.

8. If sexuality is not progressing by the 4th date it is probably best to move on. The key word here is progressing. Different girls have different limits, but basically if she likes you she wants to be touched by you and will let you go as far as she is comfortable. But if she is putting up physical roadblocks early, there is either another guy in the picture or her interest is weak.

9. If there is something unsatisfying about her physically, save you and her some pain and move on. It will NOT improve with time. Don’t date a girl you wouldn't feel proud have around your arm at a party.

10. On that note, don’t get too hung up on perfect looks. Generally speaking TRUE HB9’s and above are risky investments. They constantly have new options and orbiters, and the stress costs to you are usually not worth it.

11. High value (young and gorgeous) women KNOW their value and have a low threshold for disqualification. There is little risk to them by dumping you.

12. Lower value women will treat you better, but it is not always the best course in life to take the low hanging fruit.

13. Beware the “foreign women” myth. They do have some refreshing attributes, but they are hard to relate to and often have higher expectations from you.

14. Latin women tend to be hot tempered and possessive.

15. Unless you are an older gent yourself, older women are poor LTR choices.

16. Starting at age 25, the younger she is, the less seriously you should take her.

17. If you do want a young girl (18-23), it is best to let them come to you. Once they do, do not take them too seriously and even treat them somewhat like a child. This will drive them INSANE.

18. A woman’s loyalty is directly related to her past with men, your current value, and her available options in comparison to you.

19. Never be friends with a girl you want to bang.

20. DO be friends with girls you don’t want to bang, but beware of ****blocking.

21. Never ignore your guy friends just because you have a girlfriend. It shows weakness and disrespect.

22. Never say “I love you” first.

23. Social proof is real. Don’t underestimate the power of being seen with a beautiful woman.

24. Hypergamy is real, but only in the sense that women need to be with someone better than them. Once you become equal to, you are effectively lesser than.

25. Dating “up” as a man is asking for heartbreak. Learn to honestly assess your sexual market value.

26. The hotter your girl, the more potential suitors she will attract. Be ready to deal with it or date a more modest girl.

27. Never screw around with another man’s woman. There is no honor in it, and you are asking for problems. Be a man and hunt your own game.

28. Never date a girl who is willing to betray her man for you.

29. Delay marriage until you are over 30.

30. Most guys have no idea how subversive and narcissistic modern women really are.

31. Don’t date coworkers or anyone who could jeopardize your job.

32. Don’t date a friend’s ex.

33. Most relationships are great for the first 3 months. It takes 6 months to a year of full time dating to really get an idea of a girl’s true colors.

34. Always let her be the more interested party, at least slightly. Once your interest exceeds hers, you are in trouble.

35. Never spend more than $30-40 on a first date. Totally unnecessary.

36. Be style aware, and invest in some good clothes. A tight style works wonders.

37. Don’t date women who: Don’t thank you for paying, don’t respect your house, and don’t respect your time.

38. Don’t date women who ask you little about yourself.

39. If you want a quality LTR, let the sex happen naturally.

40. Do not cohabitate with a woman until you are married. Period.

41. Beware of anything more than a monthly “girl’s night out”. High cheating risk.

42. Depending on your tolerance level, mild disrespect (usually unintentional) should be tolerated no more than three times. Moderate disrespect twice, and severe disrespect zero. The treatment is to dump and go NC forever.

43. Women are heavily influenced by their friends. They can poison her mind against you, or edify her love for you.

44. If a woman is around 35 or older, single, and has had no fulfilling relationships in the last few years it is a safe bet she has ridiculous expectations and will be impossible to please.

45. Undesirable women come in countless flavors and colors. In general, do not date divorced women, single mothers, addicts, women with ANY mental health issues, eating disorders, or abusive pasts.

46. A woman’s mother is not a perfect predictor of her physical future, but generally reliable.

47. Don’t date someone who is not ALREADY committed to at least moderate exercise and reasonable eating habits.

48. Reveal yourself very judiciously. Never tell a girl your life story. Even your wife.

49. Better to be alone and single than attached and miserable.

50. If you consistently work on improving yourself and your position in life, it is a mathematical certainty you will eclipse your female peers in dating value after age 30.

51. Learn about leadership, and don’t be afraid to make the decisions in a relationship. If your girl is constantly resisting you or questioning you, she does not respect you and you should strongly consider leaving her.

52. On that note, leaving a woman with no qualms or notice is your #1 trump card as a male. Women usually won’t leave until they have another option in their grasp, but a man can leave regardless.

53. Understand and accept that men are the drivers of civilization and almost everything women take pride in today was made possible by men.

54. Virginity is a priceless attribute. Anyone who shames virginity is just trying to justify their unlikelihood of getting one. Women will shame them too. You don’t need a virgin to be happy, but there is nothing quite like knowing there has been no other men before you. She is YOUR unspoiled territory, and it confers strong natural frame.

55. All women love to be manhandled in bed. Some more than others.

56. Muscularity attracts. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

57. For better or worse, women are nesting creatures and will judge you by your pad.

58. NEVER go back to an ex!!! Every guy does it at least once but it has never panned out for me and I was always MORE sorry than I would have been if I just took the post break up pain like a man.

59. On that note, do not break up with a girl unless you are 100% certain you can live with it and not look back.

60. Don’t ever apologize to a woman for your state in life. She is choosing to be with you and can choose to leave.

61. This should go without saying but don’t ever date a self-proclaimed feminist. Date women who like men and respect men. In my experience, feminists are engaged in a perpetual p!ssing match with men, and will only make your life worse.

62. Women are attracted to many different things, but chief among them are: Confidence, looks, resources (money and assets), and status. They respond to all of these regardless of what they say.

63. STDs are the snake in the grass that can bite any of us. Use protection, but accept this risk if you are going to sleep around.

64. Beware of women obsessed with their pets. Crazy ahead.

65. If a girl is not making your life BETTER in the big picture of things, leave her. Women exist to support men and the best women on earth embrace this. Reward a woman like this with generous love and leadership.


There are many, many more things I could add to the list, but these were the first that came to mind, and probably the most important. Learn from my experience! And more importantly, learn from your own!!
 

CHICAGO27

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This is a great continuation of my list. You did add and expound one some things that I left out. If men would follow these rules I think we would all be in a better place. Great work!
 

GS750

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#14 has gotten me a few times...but I never learn my lesson haha. But hey I live in South Florida so pretty Latinas are everywhere. Good list.
 

jglide123

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Curious question: What do you mean exactly by "dating up" as a man (#25)? I have read that people usually date those who have comparable looks to their own, but as we know, women are attracted to other things than solely looks, unlike men. So, do you mean dating up in the physical sense, or social as well?
 

om1xr

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This is where a lot fail miserably!

Colossus said:
6. Being too aggressive sexually will scare good women away, and being sexually timid will land you in the friendzone or the no zone.
^^ I know what are you talking about here but i would appreciate some more explanation or examples just for more confirmation!

The post is Gold btw!
 

Colossus

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jglide123 said:
Curious question: What do you mean exactly by "dating up" as a man (#25)? I have read that people usually date those who have comparable looks to their own, but as we know, women are attracted to other things than solely looks, unlike men. So, do you mean dating up in the physical sense, or social as well?
As a man, it means dating a girl who is WAY hotter than you comparatively, when you don't have any assets to account for that difference.

For example, say you are a 6 in man-looks and you manage to land an HB8. Unless you are making $100,000+/year, have some nice assets (house, nice car, vacation property, etc), or are fairly high status (say a physician or lawyer, musician or public figure), she is effectively dating DOWN and this girl will be a high flight risk. She will see eventually that despite you being a cool guy, she can get the bigger better deal with ease based on her value, which is youth and beauty.


om1xr said:
^^ I know what are you talking about here but i would appreciate some more explanation or examples just for more confirmation!

The post is Gold btw!
Regarding #6, this kind of goes against the conventional manosphere wisdom of banging her as soon as possible. It all depends on the girl and what you want with her.

Say you met and pulled an HB7 who is really sweet, cute, and has some qualities you like with a modest past, like less than 5 lifetime partners. You just get a "good girl" vibe from her. With a girl like this, it is best NOT to be too aggressive sexually, if you do indeed want to see if she is LTR material. In other words, keep escalating things physically, but at a leisurely pace. If you go balls-out and try to bang her on date 2, you'll probably scare her off and she'll think you are the typical man-pig who only wants to bang.

Now if you go TOO slow with a girl, like not really initiating much contact, waiting way too long to kiss her, touch her breasts, pvssy, etc....then you risk landing in the friendzone, or the "no zone", when she writes you off as a beta nice guy with no balls. This is going to vary from girl to girl, but a good rule of thumb is to always escalate something every date until you are laying her. Maybe you go from kissing her to fondling her breasts, maybe you go from getting her topless to getting her bottomless, etc.
 

JoeMarron

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Absolute gold. Bible worthy. Especially this one

25. Dating “up” as a man is asking for heartbreak. Learn to honestly assess your sexual market value.
If a man wants to have the best relationship he can with a woman he absolutely needs to be of higher value. Never let a woman think she can do better
 
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