"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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5 ways to increase your bench

Colossus

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Everyone loves to bench (except kerpal). And it's one of the easiest lifts to troubleshoot, but it also goes up the slowest out of the big three. Here are my tips that have been gym-proven:

1. Gain weight.
This really is the simplest and most surefire way to increase a stalled bench. Problem is most guys are too worried about their abs and looking like the flavor of the moment. Benching is more affected by body weight than any other power lift. I dont mean get FAT, I mean bulk up while training heavy and eating your balls off. You would be amazed at what 10 lbs will do for your benching leverages.

2. Build up your lats.
Lats are critical to having 'pop' in the bottom position of your bench. They give you a shelf to drive off of and help you stabilize heavy loads. Pull-downs alone wont cut it, you need to do weighted chins, heavy DB rows, and bent rows or T bar rows.

3. Train your shoulders!
I think this is the #1 reason guys dont reach their bench potential. The standing barbell shoulder press should be your core shoulder exercise. It's no coincidence that when I benched 425 I also was pressing 300. Just make sure to give 2-3 days between these lifts and deload if your shoulders are flaring up.

4. Dont go for a 1-rep max every week
You will fry yourself. Work in heavy triples, doubles, floor press, and pin press. Take a max single every 3-4 weeks. Provided you are working hard enough in the 3 rep range, you will build power and burn out much slower.

5. Have strong triceps, and dont neglect your biceps.
Ever seen a guy with a big bench who has small arms? Didnt think so. Remember benching is primarily a shoulders, triceps, and lat exercise. Your triceps need to be STRONG to bench big. My personal favorites are heavy bench dips and heavy straight bar pressdowns. Also, be sure to hit your biceps moderately heavy at least once a week. You dont want a weak link there.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Mr.Positive

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Fantastic post! Just what I need to read, as I'm trying to increase my bench.

I am going to add standing barbell presses to my shoulder routine, as well as weighted chin-ups. I've been neglecting those.
 

Alle_Gory

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As a person with strong chest and triceps, I have to agree with number 3. Whenever I go bench, my shoulders always hurt like hell.

Train the weak spots!
 

TizZle

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Good advice. My friend that use to power lift said when his bench was stalling out he would take a week off on chest and hit his tri's and shoulders harder then get back into bench the next week.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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j0n24

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Pressing 300 is actually very high level in terms of lifting.

The easiest thing to mess up would be your shoulders and pressing even 5lbs OVER your max at one time can and will fvck up your shoulders.

Back when I was starting out I would press 50lbs then go up to 75lbs....I would feel a real bad sharp pain in my right shoulder which messed up everything.

Sometimes the weak link could be your forearms not being strong enough to hold the weight either due to using straps every time you lift. I've seen people use straps for bench and see them struggle due to having weak forearm grip.
 

Colossus

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j0n24 said:
Sometimes the weak link could be your forearms not being strong enough to hold the weight either due to using straps every time you lift. I've seen people use straps for bench and see them struggle due to having weak forearm grip.
Straps for bench, lol!! I thought straps for curls was ridiculous. I just laugh at these guys who use straps for everything...it's a crutch. On the subject of forearm strength, I've actually never seen a big bencher who didnt have thick forearms. Believe it or not they support a lot of weight.
 

Strelok

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I wonder what's the difference in doing the standing barbell shoulder press and doing the common dumbell shoulder press while sitting,what's the difference in achievement?
 

Paintballguy

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Colossus said:
Straps for bench, lol!! I thought straps for curls was ridiculous. I just laugh at these guys who use straps for everything...it's a crutch. On the subject of forearm strength, I've actually never seen a big bencher who didnt have thick forearms. Believe it or not they support a lot of weight.
I have a friend who uses straps on everything. I don't get it. He always tells me to buy straps, but I have no problem lifting without them. Even when I go heavy for me on deadlifts, I have no issues gripping the bar.
 

j0n24

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Colossus said:
Straps for bench, lol!! I thought straps for curls was ridiculous. I just laugh at these guys who use straps for everything...it's a crutch. On the subject of forearm strength, I've actually never seen a big bencher who didnt have thick forearms. Believe it or not they support a lot of weight.
The thing is MOST gyms are commerical and have guys show boating and lifting with their ego instead of their muscles and try to bench something a little out of there league say 70-100lbs out of their max.

I've seen guys at my gym "TRY," To bench key word 200lbs.....forearms shaking like mad and then go on to curl 35lbs....so sad.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Boxer

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Looks kind of similar to Jim Wendler's post on elitefts 0.o
 

Twitch

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I disagree with #4, but I am an abnormally when it comes to the bench. I added 75lbs to my bench in 10 months by maxing out every week. I rotate my max effort movement often though. My bench moves easily for me, since I figured out how to balance my intensity, volume, and frequency optimally for my body.

Very solid advice, Colossus!
 

Colossus

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Boxer said:
Looks kind of similar to Jim Wendler's post on elitefts 0.o
It is. I agree with all Jim's advice but I changed this to reflect what has worked in my own bench training and my training partners.
 

idkmybffjill

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Colossus said:
Everyone loves to bench (except kerpal). And it's one of the easiest lifts to troubleshoot, but it also goes up the slowest out of the big three. Here are my tips that have been gym-proven:

1. Gain weight.
This really is the simplest and most surefire way to increase a stalled bench. Problem is most guys are too worried about their abs and looking like the flavor of the moment. Benching is more affected by body weight than any other power lift. I dont mean get FAT, I mean bulk up while training heavy and eating your balls off. You would be amazed at what 10 lbs will do for your benching leverages.

2. Build up your lats.
Lats are critical to having 'pop' in the bottom position of your bench. They give you a shelf to drive off of and help you stabilize heavy loads. Pull-downs alone wont cut it, you need to do weighted chins, heavy DB rows, and bent rows or T bar rows.

3. Train your shoulders!
I think this is the #1 reason guys dont reach their bench potential. The standing barbell shoulder press should be your core shoulder exercise. It's no coincidence that when I benched 425 I also was pressing 300. Just make sure to give 2-3 days between these lifts and deload if your shoulders are flaring up.

4. Dont go for a 1-rep max every week
You will fry yourself. Work in heavy triples, doubles, floor press, and pin press. Take a max single every 3-4 weeks. Provided you are working hard enough in the 3 rep range, you will build power and burn out much slower.

5. Have strong triceps, and dont neglect your biceps.
Ever seen a guy with a big bench who has small arms? Didnt think so. Remember benching is primarily a shoulders, triceps, and lat exercise. Your triceps need to be STRONG to bench big. My personal favorites are heavy bench dips and heavy straight bar pressdowns. Also, be sure to hit your biceps moderately heavy at least once a week. You dont want a weak link there.
Yep good article by Wendler. I definitely neglected my biceps and will be hitting them once a week from now on.
 
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