5 months, the question gets popped

[lynxdoesntworklol]

hey i've been reading several of the posts on this site and kinda thought this place would be the best to get advice and such.
this girl and i have been going out for 5 months round about now and the other day subject of sex came up, meaning she (after a crazy amount of euphamisms) raised the point.
now so far she's been very coy, i think thats the word anyway. she and i are both virgins and everytime i've asked in the past she's said no but said it'll happen in the future.
what is more we have decided to end our relation in the summer, because she and i are going separate paths (geographically speaking) and it wouldnt be fair on either of us to keep a long distance relation up and running.
so i have about 5-7 months left with her and so understandably we both want to make the most of it.
now what got me to write all this down is that recently i've been getting slightly worried. when the subject was raised she was supposed to be staying over at my place this weekend... (we were having a poker night with one of my friends and several of my parents).. now she isnt staying over. Also the weekend following she was supposed to come over, when my parents were out, for a while and she's said she has to be at school (boarding school) that weekend.
so what now? i've got that nervous feeling that she and i wont get to 4th before the summer and such. i mean she keeps saying that when we break up if we have sex we'll be brought closer and it'll hurt more, which will happen anyway!

any advice guys?

 

[lynxdoesntworklol]

when i say several of my parents i mean friends of my parents, apologies for the bad grammar there

 

[bigshot]

Well once you lose your virginity with her, she is free to fvck any other guy she wants. Infact, she may have brought it up because of this. She knows she is going her seperate ways after summer, so she wants to get it over n done with so she can have 'fun'.

 

[lynxdoesntworklol]

the same goes for me i guess but 5 months gives me an insight into the way she thinks, shes not the kind who sleeps around

 

[djweses89]

see dont get her over your house, do things you havnt done with her yet like lazer tag dates, picknicks ( bet no guy ever did that for her ), thing is GO OUT a lot more with her and do funnier things, then get her to come over after words but not after like 2 or 3 dates make her have to be the one wanting to come over instead of you wanting her to come over, get my drift, i mean you even said it last few months being together why not try to make the best of it, well doesnt seem like your making the best of it by having her just come over which im sure shes done a lot

so my advice go on dates fun and exciting dates. and give her some reason why she can't come over for a few times when yall hang out. Even tho this is nearly the end of the relationship she still has control, so you should just take control.

 

[WesCottII]

It's a difficult one mate. How old are you?

My first thought is you just wasted 5 months, but of course there is a flipside.

Personally, one of the MAIN reasons of having a g/f is sex, and if she isn't giving that to you, then whats the point? Making excuses just isn't kosher (in my view) for a relationship. There are many girls who ARE willing to have sex. It honestly isn't a big deal, infact it can be pretty crappy.

On the flipside, she's a virgin. She's scared, it's natural, but if after 5 months she's still not willing to let you in, something's amiss.

If it were me....make a move, and if she resists, move on. There's plenty of girls who will do you right (pun intended) as a girlfriend.

 

[lynxdoesntworklol]

mm well i'll take both of ur advice into account, i'll take out some place and have fun, nice ideas thanks, let her ask to come over then push her away once or twice then see where it goes. hows that for a slice of fried gold?

 

[lynxdoesntworklol]

oh dear...

well things have gone very bad. basically it all started when i was over at hers the weekend before valentine's day. we were just whatching a movie when her dad comes in with a box of chocolate that his wife said, jokingly, she didnt like. after a few retreats and returns of him with this box i said laughing 'hey ya know what? give them to me and i'll lace them arsenic' i knew at once i'd hit a bad note as Emily wasnt at all happy. to quote 'i know i dont get on with my family but im still protective of them' i knew this spelled bad news now or later so i appologised a **** load.
so valentine's day came along and we'd agreed to cook something, it was either that or do something else which we couldnt pay for. so we were cooking, i was doing the desert she was doing the main course, i didnt really know what to say to her it was just an awquard silence and when i tried to make conversation i got little answers.
later we moved on to the bedroom, we got to 2nd (fingering) and then suddenly she asks me stop and wont let me do it again for like the rest of the day, she was still jerking me off though which was odd.
later i asked my mum something and, emily was with me, she just sort of snaps at me in return, dont ask.

so the major trouble happened when i get an email from Emily. she got the impression i was pissed with her and so was my mum. on friday she swings by to give me the second part of my v day present which was a small glass square with the words 'thinking of you...' writting on it. surely enough Emily emails me that i apprently didnt like it (not true!)

so now im getting skittish, i phoned up today with the intension of sorting this mess up. it turns out she's wondering what were doing together basically. i mean were coasting along and she just thinks that were breaking up in the summer so why not now? I got the jist that this was all because of what i said at her place. also about sex? we'd agreed to do it in easter, after we both got checked out by the docs for STD's or whatever. now she says she doesnt want to risk getting pregnant, even after i stated she'd be on the pill and i'd be using a condom, because she doesnt wanna screw up her A levels. so this means if we did have sex it'd be in the summer before we break up and that means it'll her us more when we split because we wont have the time we should have had.

so after a load of umming and arring we said we'd settle what was to happen this weekend while were eating in town. this is basically the options we have

1) Break up now
2) Break up in the summer
3) Break from relationship from Easter holidays until Exams are over
4) Break from relationship just before the exams and get back straight after

1) would mean the pair of us are devastated now effecting our grades and such and i dont fancy looking like a blubbering moron right now
2) would mean we get to use the time well, have sex, and then she goe's to uni meating a load of new people and i get on with my job and gap year
3) and 4) are designed so we get our heads down and work


Valentine Presents
i got her a pair of earings to match her birthday present from me which was a necklace

she got me a chocolate car the glass thing and a framed picture of us with a 'cringy' letter in the back saying she loved me

i feel pretty bad because i didnt get her that much which leads me on to the last thing.
her ex, my friend, got too serious in the relationship too soon. i've been scared that if i admit i love her then we'd split. i think i do love her but im still scared of breaking up with her now. i feel frustrated because of this because i dont know what i can and cant say to her, i mean she means the world to me but when i phoned her up she said 'what you said about my mum set us back a long way'.


so eh yeah anyone who's a geneius wanna help me out here? i've got until saturday to work out what to say to her. ideally i want to be with her until the Summer and do i want to sleep with her, sooner rather than later.

 

[WesCottII]

This ones circling the drain.

Yeah, it can be salvaged, but the time and effort used to salvage the relationship would be better invested in finding/meeting new girls. It's hard to re-heat a relationship when it's gone down hill.

That said, do what YOU want. I can advise you what I think it best (which'd be to give her some space to miss you, whislt you find other women...), but if thats not what you want, then I'd be wasting both of our time.

 

[lynxdoesntworklol]

well i am going to try to salvage it. i mean we had such a connection on the weekend and now what? i think she's over reacting and this is the only thing i have done wrong, im not kidding!

 

[The Grey Fox]

It's time to split if you ask me, "what are we doing together?" well what are you doing together? she's just making up **** excuses to avoid having sex with you, why? because she doesn't want to have sex with you. She's not really scared of getting pregnant (unless she's got severe panic problems) it's just ******** for " I don't really want to lose my virginity with you".

You have been waiting too long as it is, you came on here because you weren't fully happy with the pace of your relationship and she's just continually slamming the brakes on you. Nothing's likely to change in the next couple of months mate and if I were you I'd get out of there and meet some new people

But as WesCott said it's your decision, do what you want man.

p.s stick around on here and read some of the golden stuff in the bible, for a good place to start I recommend Senor Fingers Weapons of Mass Seduction downloadable on the bible page.

 

[lynxdoesntworklol]

i dont wanna sound like an ass right now but seeing as i feel like im on cloud 9 i'll just go ahead.

well its all safe and such
1) we made up
2) were staying together
3) we wernt to her place for a bout 3 hours...