5 dates in...going good but where's the response?

[snowandotherjoys]

I've gone on five dates with this girl. I've setup every one. It goes something like this. I setup a date. She responds almost immediately and enthusiastically. We have a good time together. After the date I let things sit for 7-14 days. Then I realize she isn't going to call, so I setup another date. She responds quickly and happily. We have another good time. Again, she never initiates contact with me after the date. Rinse and repeat. On our last date she touched my leg a few times with her toes. I touched her a lot and she did not pull away.

I like her, but where's the response? She never texts me, never calls, never says hello over messenger. I've done a lot of nice things for her. Not "nice guy" stuff, but I treat her quite well and it's motivated by my desire to serve and care for others and not by my own insecurities or need for approval. My gut tells me it could be: 1) Her interest in me is not that high. 2) She's aloof and is unaware that she's getting gamed 3) She's self-absorbed and it's all about her. 4) She's shy

Not sure if I should kick up the heat... confront her... next her... or hang out with her more and give her time to open up.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I think there is an option 5. It sounds like she may actually be into you, but she is a "Rules Girl." She's playing according to a set of rules marketed to women. Following "The Rules" she is restricting herself to only respond to your initiations and to not call you (Rule #5, see box below.)

Does her behavior match any of the other "Rules"?

If she is a dedicated "Rule's Girl," understand these are just some of the rules that will dictate her behavior and explain her lack of response:

1. Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other"
2. Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
3. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
4. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
5. Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
6. Always End Phone Calls First
7. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
8. Fill Up Your Time before the Date
9. How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
10. How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
11. Always End the Date First
12. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
13. Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
14. No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
15. Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
16. Don't Tell Him What to Do
17. Let Him Take the Lead
18. Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
19. Don’t Open Up Too Fast
20. Be Honest but Mysterious

Behaving as "Rules Girl/Woman" is a dedicated and non-negoltiable practice for some women, who have read the book(s), or know other women that have. It becomes their commitment and focus, as they are taught, "The Rules" will help them finally "land the guy of their dreams."

To me this may explain why she is so enthusiastic to hear from you, to set up another date, and enjoys it when she is with you, but still does not initiate contact between dates. I only share this as information. Don't get side-tracked.

Stay focused on what matters to you. Focus on what you want and what are you doing to make that happen?

Important questions are...
What is your frame with her?
Why haven't you escalated farther?
Are you seeing other women as well right now, so you don't get fixated on this one?

 

[marmel75]

Have you fvcked her yet?

 

[Trump]

I've gone on five dates with this girl. I've setup every one. It goes something like this. I setup a date. She responds almost immediately and enthusiastically. We have a good time together. After the date I let things sit for 7-14 days. Then I realize she isn't going to call, so I setup another date.

You have a good time with a good looking girl on a date, and then wait TWO WEEKS to contact her again? In two weeks she should have gotten married and divorced and had an abortion. Why the heck are you waiting so long? What do you mean you "realize she isn't going to call." Are you playing by her rules or do you want to sleep with her? Are you looking for a friend or sex?

She responds quickly and happily. We have another good time. Again, she never initiates contact with me after the date. Rinse and repeat. On our last date she touched my leg a few times with her toes. I touched her a lot and she did not pull away.

I like her, but where's the response? She never texts me, never calls, never says hello over messenger. I've done a lot of nice things for her. Not "nice guy" stuff, but I treat her quite well and it's motivated by my desire to serve and care for others and not by my own insecurities or need for approval. My gut tells me it could be: 1) Her interest in me is not that high. 2) She's aloof and is unaware that she's getting gamed 3) She's self-absorbed and it's all about her. 4) She's shy

Not sure if I should kick up the heat... confront her... next her... or hang out with her more and give her time to open up.

Don't confront her. "Why aren't you buying what I am selling? I am getting offended!"
Leave your ego out of it why she doesn't call or text or care. Make a move to sleep with her next time you are out with her. If she resists, no problem, move on to a girl who doesn't resist and wants to sleep with you.

Are you guys looking for sex or female friends? Make a SOLID MOVE in the first 2 dates. If they don't respond favourably, move on. I guarantee this girl isn't caring as much about you as you are about her, when you haven't even had sex with her. Brutal.

 

[Fireballs]

It sounds like you haven't even kissed her yet?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Have you fvcked her yet?

No kidding. I love how information like this is conveniently left out, so I'm thinking no he hasn't banged her yet even after 5 dates. Yeah she's excited to see him...sounds like he's paying for everything and she gets a free meal/ride/distraction for however long the date lasts.

 

[marmel75]

No kidding. I love how information like this is conveniently left out, so I'm thinking no he hasn't banged her yet even after 5 dates. Yeah she's excited to see him...sounds like he's paying for everything and she gets a free meal/ride/distraction for however long the date lasts.

Lol, nothing like leaving the most important piece of info out....

 

[Poon King]

Where modern betas fail is focusing on "relationships" more than sex. It is the WOMAN's job to care about the relationship. Your only job as a man is to get laid. Your focus is on f*cking women you find attractive ASAP. That is where you get your leverage. Until you f*ck a woman.. she has all the leverage. This is why most women are in no rush to have sex.. especially if they believe they can extract attention, commitment, and resources from a thirsty beta without having to sleep with him.

MEN: Stop trying to offer women as much as possible. Instead, offer as little as possible. Make her work and invest.

Only after a woman demonstrates key qualities of submission, loyalty and low maintenance should you even THINK about getting into a relationship with her.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Ha I just don't see anything wrong here, other than the fact you haven't escalated farther.

She may have been dumped in the past by guys who were turned off by all her texting, so she's made a point to not drive a guy crazy by texting non-stop.

Seriously dude, no offense but you sound like a woman by saying "she never texts me, never calls, never says hello over messenger", that's the kind of thing a teenage girl would say is wrong with her boyfriend.

 

[ubercat]

Five dates and no pvssy. Isn't this the definition of friend zone? Invite her to your place immediately and get on the job already. If you get any push back at all cut bait life is too short.

Now admittedly I did take four dates to bang my current girlfriend which was a new personal worst for me. It should have been date 3 but I had an off night and didn't handle her LMR well. Point is that there was an upwards trend on the physical side every date. If you're not getting that why are you hanging around to be her gay friend?

 

[guru1000]

. Your focus is on f*cking women you find attractive ASAP. That is where you get your leverage. Until you f*ck a woman.. she has all the leverage. This is why most women are in no rush to have sex..

This is exactly what I have always said. Many DJs expect attractive women to worship them before sex, when there are thousands of thirsty betas at their fingertips.

Before sex = Women have the advantage
After sex = Men have the advantage

Women abhor being fvcked and tossed. Recognizing this distinction is everything. The goal is to fvck attractive women as soon as possible to tip the power unequivocally toward the man's side. Hence, why looking for IOIs, signals, clues, reciprocation, frame, IL is a waste of time. Pursue and get sex first. Ask her name later, LOL.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The OP sounds like a young guy, so give him a break.

OP, it appears that you haven't kissed your date yet, let alone fvcked her. You need to change that fast before she loses interest. Next date should be at your house. She will start calling you AFTER you've had sex, believe me.

 

[marmel75]

The OP sounds like a young guy, so give him a break.

OP, it appears that you haven't kissed your date yet, let alone fvcked her. You need to change that fast before she loses interest. Next date should be at your house. She will start calling you AFTER you've had sex, believe me.

If this is the case I have no idea how he's gotten 5 dates.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

She runbbed his leg... that is when the op needed to go for the kiss.

She won't be around for long op... if she is not gone already.

 

[JohnChops]

Where modern betas fail is focusing on "relationships" more than sex. It is the WOMAN's job to care about the relationship. Your only job as a man is to get laid. Your focus is on f*cking women you find attractive ASAP. That is where you get your leverage. Until you f*ck a woman.. she has all the leverage. This is why most women are in no rush to have sex.. especially if they believe they can extract attention, commitment, and resources from a thirsty beta without having to sleep with him.

MEN: Stop trying to offer women as much as possible. Instead, offer as little as possible. Make her work and invest.

Only after a woman demonstrates key qualities of submission, loyalty and low maintenance should you even THINK about getting into a relationship with her.

this. sexualize the conversation with her. If she doesn't go for it, drop done. Find a new girl.

 

[marmel75]

this. sexualize the conversation with her. If she doesn't go for it, drop done. Find a new girl.

I still wonder how this dude went on 5 dates and still didn't even kiss her. What's the point?

 

[JohnChops]

I still wonder how this dude went on 5 dates and still didn't even kiss her. What's the point?

he wants a friend?