"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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48hrs Into Boot Camp And Already Dying

namewitheld

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Hi, I started the boot camp 48 hours ago and I am worse off now then i was before starting. I am suppose to get 50 hi and make eye contact. I have yet to manage a single eye contact and its not for want of trying.
In the past I have never had trouble walking down the street and making eye contact with women, in fact loads of times I pass women who smile or laugh in my direction (I am not usually smiling back when they do this) and this leaves me paranoid as to why they do this. Am I that unattractive?
But since starting BC and actually making EC intentionally it has become impossible to find someone to even look at me. I must look like a total plonker walking around staring at people. And should I manage to progress to the speaking stage, who does this? You don't see other guys going around saying hi to total strangers in the street. Its mental?

Well my reason for posting here is just for a little feedback. Is this how it starts for every body.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jean laurent

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Namewitheld: it's supposed to feel uncomfortable. Change always does. If you're wondering about looking "like a plonker" you are still miles away. In the end you will laugh about how ridiculous it is to worry about appearing weird while doing this. I know -- I used to obsess about how what I was doing was being perceived. I'm still not comfortable doing everything in the DJ playbook, but something as simple as eye-contact and "hi", and even just basic flirting, has become no-brainer stuff. You can get there, you just have to keep plugging away. But, yes, it will be uncomfortable for a while. And when you get good at that, the next level will feel uncomfortable too, but probably less so. That has been my experience.
 

Donald Kaufman

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As has been suggested elsewhere go to places where people are essentially paid to say "hi" to you. Go buy something and say hi to whoever serves you then say "hi" to the person next to you. Say "hi" to the security guard then say "hi" to the person next to them.

Start with the person who has to be friendly to you, acknowledge their response and while it still feels normal continue with someone who just heard you say it. Make it natural to say "hi" to everyone and let EC come later. Find a place you can start and work up.
 

englishcrap

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Dont know whether this helps or not. I have found that if you make eye contact with women who are in a rush to get to work you wont get any response. An example is the morning rush hour in London aaahhhhhhhh :D

On the other side of the coin, try a weekend where everyone is relaxed and out shopping.
 

So Many Ways

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I'm beginning bootcamp and i've rattled off a few hellos. How is your attitude? If your attitude is anything like your post, you need to change that. You need a more positive mindframe. If you're positive, you'll project positivity, if you're negative, you'll project negativity.

Also, how are you carrying yourself? How are you dressed? This is important too.

Just relax, change your attitude and have fun with it. So far, the women I've said hello to have been nothing but positive.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

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