"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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48 Laws of Power

azanon

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Darth said:
I agree that the 48 laws are interesting, but Carnegie's book is a lot more practical in the real world...
Which one..... "How to win friends and influence people"?

Yeah I agree, I recommend folks read this book. They're a bit apples and oranges though. I'd prefer to say both are very helpful. I haven't read 48 laws yet, but I plan on it. Of course i read the synopsis that was linked earlier in the thread.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bible_Belt

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On an off-topic note, how do you pronounce Carnegie's last name? I thought it was with emphasis on the first syllable, like Andrew Carnegie, Carnegie Halll, library, etc. But I had a boss who pronounced it 'car-NAY-gie,' emphasizing the second syllable.
 
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Bible_Belt said:
On an off-topic note, how do you pronounce Carnegie's last name? I thought it was with emphasis on the first syllable, like Andrew Carnegie, Carnegie Halll, library, etc. But I had a boss who pronounced it 'car-NAY-gie,' emphasizing the second syllable.
It's Car Nuh Gee.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Not that this is any real news to anyone on this board:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/worklife/03/15/48.laws.of.power/index.html?hpt=C1


However, I did thoroughly enjoy reading the (predictable) comments from the general populace. 90% of which are shining examples of the 49th Law - Always discourage others from educating themselves about power. Vilify it or disqualify it, but never reveal the benefits of powers influence. Marginalizing the influence of power is itself an exercise of power.
 

Amazing

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I enjoy 33 strategies of war more.

It would be cool to have a usable set of rules for the workplace/social contact, we already have stuff like:

don't answer the call if you want to be mysterious (which is really if you just want to have a little edge)

or whoever cares least in the relationship, usually is the one in command


or, always be willing to walk away.


we need more defined ones. like how do I get someone to call me when I am the underdog - how do I go up to someone I want something from and make it look like we are both winning from trading that something.

Francis Bacon had an amazing part in his essays about appealing to a certain trait in certain people, with some you had to talk to the master, or sense of worth, or greed, etc.. brilliant guy
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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