"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

48 laws of power at the workplace

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,984
Reaction score
192
It happens so often. A young up and go getter gets stiff armed by older senior members within an organization and they don't know why. Well, it happened to me today and I had no idea why until about halfway through the afternoon.

My background check at work was finished and I was granted a clearance to the next level up. All this meant was that I had a possibility to jump in to about round of qualifications for my job. Having a fairly savvy technical background, and having completed the first phase of training with the highest average - I was confident I could catch up. I approach one of the instructors asking if I could do this. He was vehemently against this. So what did I (foolishly) do? Went over his head and right to my boss. My boss is enthusiastic and vouches for me, as do my co workers. Even the department head does, but this doesn't make the instructors budge. I said I would put in extra time and catch up and that I loved the challenge, but this seemed to make the instructors that much more irritated.

confounded...

..until I recalled several anecdotes from robert greene's books which read in a similar fashion. It all dawned upon me in the mid afternoon. My co worker said ' i don't understand why someone would be against you trying to advance'. This was when I understood exactly why a superior would be against me advancing.

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.
So what went wrong. I was arrogant and said I could get a high mark. I said i could catch up without instruction. This was foolish as it boosted my status, and indirectly told the instructors they weren't needed. Imagine being told that by someone 2 months on the job. Now it all made sense.

lesson learned Even if you are enthusiastic about showing off, stop and hold off. Think of who might resent it. If someone above you feels like their need is insignificant, they will make it impossible to advance no matter what you do.

On the bright side, I had a cadre of co workers, my immediate boss, and the department head on my side. Its been a while since i've seen people vouch for me that badly. I heard my boss argue with at least 2 higher ups to no avail.

This post isn't meant to brag or anything. Just another observation of one of my favorite books, and how the principals hold true. Anyone with similar experiences , feel free to post.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Drdeee

Banned
Joined
Jan 9, 2011
Messages
512
Reaction score
13
Location
outskirts of myville
Job = a place full of bastards and back stabbers, that's why I don't have it.

You want to live a lavish lifestyle and dance to your own tune? Open up a business.
 

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,984
Reaction score
192
Drdeee said:
Job = a place full of bastards and back stabbers, that's why I don't have it.

You want to live a lavish lifestyle and dance to your own tune? Open up a business.
To be clear, my job is fine. I came out of the situation more uplifted than anything, yet I still got a lesson out of it.

And yes, you are right. And yes, I am starting a business. Maybe stay tuned for details. think late 2011, early 2012.
 
Top