46 and desperate

[bat soup]

Ask Allison: ‘I’m 46 and I’ve started dating again after 20 years of marriage. I am starting to feel desperate. Can you help?

Q: I recently came out of a marriage and I would like to meet someone and settle down again. I am 46 and I met my husband when I was 26 — drunk in a nightclub like most people my age. I have never dated as such and have no experience. The thing is, I am at a loss as to how to go about this. I...

m.independent.ie

What would you reply to this woman?

 

[Francis]

I don't see this as such a big deal because she was involved with someone for 20 years and started dating again (or for the first time). That's different from "having fun" and rejecting decent prospects for 20 years then complaining about it, lol.

I'm guessing she's coming off as too eager and desperate and it's turning guys off. Doesn't know the rules of the game. Same crap works both ways.

 

[bat soup]

She seems to think that dating is great for men at 46. Apparently we're spoilt for choice of old hags.

Who here wants to "settle down" and jump straight into an LTR with a 46 year old?

 

[bat soup]

I don't see this as such a big deal because she was involved with someone for 20 years and started dating again (or for the first time). That's different from "having fun" and rejecting decent prospects for 20 years then complaining about it, lol.

I'm guessing she's coming off as too eager and desperate and it's turning guys off. Doesn't know the rules of the game. Same crap works both ways.

I think that most men are simply not interested in women that old. They're especially not interested in going along with her agenda of an LTR.

 

[Robert28]

I don't see this as such a big deal because she was involved with someone for 20 years and started dating again (or for the first time). That's different from "having fun" and rejecting decent prospects for 20 years then complaining about it, lol.

I'm guessing she's coming off as too eager and desperate and it's turning guys off. Doesn't know the rules of the game. Same crap works both ways.

She was rejecting decent guys in her teens and early 20’s until she met Chad in a bar and thought it would be a hoot to get married as a joke.

 

[Barrister]

I think that most men are simply not interested in women that old. They're especially not interested in going along with her agenda of an LTR.

Guys in their 50s and 60s would certainly be interested in her so long as her kids are older and either out of the house or almost out of the house and she is still in relatively good/fit shape.

 

[Robert28]

I think that most men are simply not interested in women that old. They're especially not interested in going along with her agenda of an LTR.

It’s not that but usually women that are old (35+) have a huge list of demands and nothing to back it up with. Nobody wants to put up with that.

 

[SW15]

Guys in their 50s and 60s would certainly be interested in her so long as her kids are older and either out of the house or almost out of the house and she is still in relatively good/fit shape.

Yes. Plenty of 46 year old women find plenty of options. My mom in the her early 60s had plenty of options because she used online dating websites. When my mom was in her early 60s, her kids were long since grown up and not living with her.

 

[Barrister]

Yes. Plenty of 46 year old women find plenty of options. My mom in the her early 60s had plenty of options because she used online dating websites. When my mom was in her early 60s, her kids were long since grown up and not living with her.

Had a similiar experience to you. My parents briefly split for a bit when my mom was in her early 50s. She knew a lot of doctors in a the city we lived in since my dad was one. She had multiple doctors asking her out - guys who were in their 50s and you would consider high SMV. The idea that older women are done after "the wall" is a fallacy. If they are in good shape they will have plenty of suitors.

 

[RickTheToad]

Ask Allison: ‘I’m 46 and I’ve started dating again after 20 years of marriage. I am starting to feel desperate. Can you help?

Q: I recently came out of a marriage and I would like to meet someone and settle down again. I am 46 and I met my husband when I was 26 — drunk in a nightclub like most people my age. I have never dated as such and have no experience. The thing is, I am at a loss as to how to go about this. I...

m.independent.ie

What would you reply to this woman?

She looks older than 46.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She shouldn’t have divorced her husband.

What the fvck did she think she would find on the market at 46 years old?

 

[Mike32ct]

She should return to the club. Might still pull an older Bradlite lol.

All joking aside, she would still have ok options via OLD.

 

[2Rocky]

Is this all she answered? what a cop out....

Allison replies: I think your question is going to resonate with many. Modern dating is a vulnerable place filled with complex and constantly changing rules set unfortunately against a cultural backdrop of the disposable ‘swipe next’ mentality. Even if technology is opening doors, it hasn’t caught up emotionally with the human drive and desire for authentic connection. The need to be loved isn’t desperate, it is universal, even though it feels vulnerable.

 

[rjc149]

I think that most men are simply not interested in women that old. They're especially not interested in going along with her agenda of an LTR.

You'll be 50 someday dude. You won't be posting about 46 year old women being "old hags."

 

[rjc149]

I think the main concern I would have as an older man dating divorced women is why they divorced.

All the usual reasons aside (financial issues, infidelity, abuse), there is a trend these days of older women filing for divorce as a simple change of lifestyle.

‘Gray Divorce’ Is on the Rise: How to Strengthen Your Relationship at Any Age

Experts say more and more couples are divorcing after more years together than ever before.

www.everydayhealth.com

I predict this trend will become more prevalent as the millennial generation reaches middle age and retirement.

 

[Zimbabwe]

She shouldn’t have divorced her husband.

What the fvck did she think she would find on the market at 46 years old?

Many people go into marriage with the wrong attitude as far as I’m concerned and many people don’t seem to understand what the word ‘commitment’ actually means. Their attitude is ‘oh, well, if it doesn’t work out, I can always get a divorce’. They are already doomed because marriage takes work, real work to get love to last, to make a relationship work.

I was on a bus one time when two girls, who hadn’t seen each other for quite some time ran into each other on the bus. The last time they had seen each other was at one of the girl’s wedding. When the other one asked her how things were going, she said they were not. They were already divorced. They hadn’t even been married two years from what I could understand. The reason for the divorce? She divorced him because he wouldn’t throw his dirty shorts in the hamper. Really? She divorced him for something that’s even less than trivial. I’m sure that’s not the only reason why but if it was the only reason, she needed to grow up.

 

[BadBoy89]

. I am 46 and I met my husband when I was 26 — drunk in a nightclub like most people my age

No, most people at 26 weren’t drunk in a nightclub.

Exactly what women do, nothing is ever their fault, they are always the victim and they always blame others for their bad decisions.

May have a coffee with her for some stimulating conversation, but date? No. Anything over 38 I will never date.

 

[Willie Naylor]

She shouldn’t have divorced her husband.

What the fvck did she think she would find on the market at 46 years old?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Ask Allison: ‘I’m 46 and I’ve started dating again after 20 years of marriage. I am starting to feel desperate. Can you help?

Q: I recently came out of a marriage and I would like to meet someone and settle down again. I am 46 and I met my husband when I was 26 — drunk in a nightclub like most people my age. I have never dated as such and have no experience. The thing is, I am at a loss as to how to go about this. I...

m.independent.ie

What would you reply to this woman?

She should beg her ex-husband on her knees to take her back and pray to good that he does. and then treat him like a king for the rest of her life and cherish every minute. Period.

 

[biggoal]

She looks older than 46.

Looks terrible for 46. That 49 year old from OLD I went on a date with you might recall she was much much better looking than this.